Smoking in public places - WIBU to ask them to move??!

[Umlauf]

I'm 6months pregnant at the moment so this is bothering me more than usual..

On at least 4 occasions this week, I've sat down with my DH on a public bench/beach/outside cafe/park. (I'm aware that people can smoke in public and its their right so we just don't sit next to anyone smoking - aside from passive smoking risks the smell just makes me gag now). There are loads of other places to sit so why do the smokers come and sit RIGHT NEXT TO me and my very visible bump and light up immediately?

If they were there first then fair enough, but why choose to come and sit next to the pregnant woman? I've seen it happen a lot where there are families with pushchairs too, people happily smoke in their baby's face...

And WIBU to ask them politely to sit elsewhere next time this happens? (Assuming an abundance of available seats, which there always are otherwise I'd understand)

I know they have a right to sit where they like, but isn't this just common courtesy? Same as I wouldn't play loud tinny music on a phone when sat right next to other people?

Ahh you're in sunnier climes than here. Was wondering where in the UK would there be a town with no little café you can sit down and have a bacon butty and a mug of tea to warm yourself up!

"most smokers don't have common courtesy"

Think you are being a bit unfair there. I am a smoker and always make sure that If I do smoke I do it away from other people e.g I won't smoke in a bus stop. I will move a good few metres away where the smoke cannot annoy anyone

Sadly no!! I do miss that though!! Looking forward to my visit homw at christmas for that very purpose.

We have the same smoking laws but the 'just stay inside' argument is very difficult here.

Keep a really pungent air freshener in your bag and spray it around next time someone lights up? Would have to be one that didn't make you queasy though...

Smokers. Please try to understand.

You cannot smell the smoke and you think that it is being dissapated into the air.

Smoke is actually heavier than air and so your smoke lingers around. You might not notice that because you can't smell it but non-smokers can.

I have been next to smokers, outdoors and have accidently gulped a lungful of their smoke as it came over my way. The worst is when you walk past a smoker as the smoke is at face level and if you breathe in at the wrong time, you gag on their second-hand smoke.

Yes it is the right of the smoker to light up in a public place, however there is also something called common courtesy. If you have ever had to endure a loud mobile phone conversation in a restaurant or on a train then you will understand what this common courtesy means. It may be perfectly legal, but it is nice to consider those around you.

Pregnant women and small children do not particularly wish to breathe in the vile smoke you breathe out or which leeches out from your cigarette. Therefore it would be polite and courteous to avoid smoking next to these people.

In fact, it would be polite for smokers not to stand next to any non-smoker whilst puffing away since the smoke, as I said, is at face height but I realise that asking some smokers not to smoke in the company of others is construed as an infringement of their rights because non-smokers don't have the right to breathe in clean air.

Some smokers have this selfish attitude. Some are actually very considerate. I think the OP is appealing to the former.

I used to say something along the lines of "I'm sorry to ask, but I'm pregnant and have really bad morning sickness - would you mind holding your cigarette so the smoke blows the other way please" whilst smiling really nicely and being v friendly. Everyone I asked was really nice, very apologetic and moved away. I think most (not all, some are just a-holes!) people are just caught up in their own worlds and really don't mean any harm.

Is it not possible for you to move if you find it a problem? Especially if there is plenty of seating? Outside is the only place smokers can go now, so perhaps you could sit on another seat if it would keep you away from the smoke?

Burmillababe would you find it acceptable if someone on a train came and sat right next to you, despite plenty of other empty seats, and started having a loud phone conversation?

No doubt you would angrily wonder why you had to move when you were sat there first and they chose to plonk down next to you.

Ditto.

Since the passive smoking risk in the open air is extremely minimal, I assume it's more to do with the smell making your feel sick?

What if someone sat next to you with particularly smelly food that made you feel sick?

Would you ask them to move too?

I wouldn't sit down next to an obviously pregnant woman and smoke. Nor a family with young children.

However I do smoke in public and am not likely to move if I was there first. I am outside as the law requires.

I used to smoke and just never would have done this, you would not be unreasonable

Worra it's not that minimal.

Smoke is blown out at face level. It lingers in the air as it's too heavy to dissipate. As a smoker is regularly puffing away, it stands to reason that some of that smoke will be contaminating the air that is breathed by the person next to them.

Have you ever breathed in someone's second-hand smoke? It's not exactly pleasant and for a non-smoker it's really quite vile.

Smelly fish and chips, for instance, might not be pleasant but the smell does not contain toxins.

This is from the University of Minnesota: " It is estimated that only 15% of cigarette smoke gets inhaled by the smoker. The remaining 85% lingers in the air for everyone to breathe."

So if the wind is blowing in your direction or if there is no wind, it is fair to say that you will be breathing in some of this smoke.

"Secondhand smoke contains over 4000 chemicals including more than 40 cancer causing agents and 200 known poisons.
Secondhand smoke has been classified by the EPA as a Class A carcinogen - a substance known to cause cancer in humans.
Secondhand smoke contains twice as much tar and nicotine per unit volume as does smoke inhaled from a cigarette. It contains 3X as much cancer-causing benzpyrene, 5X as much carbon monoxide, and 50X as much ammonia."

Some smokers are just very inconsiderate. If the law allows them to smoke in a particular place then they will smoke there. I have had to move out of bus shelters in the rain because some smoker has just arrived in and lit up a cigarette. Last weekend myself and a friend were sitting out on her balcony chatting and having lunch. The guy on the next balcony (the balconies are only separated by a wood partition) arrived out and started puffing away, with the smoke coming all over our balcony where he could quite clearly hear the clanking of knives and forks and the two of us chatting.
But you see, it's not illegal to smoke in these places and their brains can't think beyond that.

Yes it does contain toxins, just like traffic fumes etc.

I'm not saying it's right to smoke in front of other people Rhubarb but the OP has mentioned a few times, it's because the smell makes her sick.

What do you expect the guy on the balcony to do? Presumbly he owns or rents it.

You anti-smokers can't have it all ways. You wanted us to stop smoking indoors, even in the bloody pub fgs, and you got that. So now we're all outside. And now you're moaning that we're outside. Well, whose fault is that?

Rhubarb Sadly in public places people often do.things that irritate others - it is rarely intentional but everyone has different tolerance levels for situations - unfortunately you can't control their actions but you can often take yourself away from the source of the irritation. And fwiw I would not light up near a pregnant woman

In fact, this entire whinge-fest about people smoking outdoors, in the open air, is proof for me that the smoking ban wasn't actually about health issues at all - it was about a bunch of Nazis wanting to control what other people were doing. If I'm walking down the street puffing happily away on my fag (just about the only place left where I can actually have one), do you really think you're going to catch cancer as I walk past you? No, of course not. You just don't like the fact that I'm smoking at all and you want to stop me because you want to stop me.

Several years ago when it was still legal to smoke in pubs, me DP, and our 3 DC's were in a pub having a meal. We were sat near the doors to the play area out the back. There was a small spare table next to us, then a large gangway for people to walk to the doors etc then another set of tables.

A large family sat at the tables across the gangway and had a meal too. When they had finished the 2 men in the family came and sat at the empty tables next to me and my kids and lit up their cigars

DP is a smoker but only ever smoked outside because of the kids but I was so angry I made DP go and sit next to this family and light up. They were all moaning about the smoke so the men moved outside followed by DP

Yes I know it was childish but come on, you dont sit next to some other random children to smoke.

Fair enough Burmillababe, I do wonder though what goes on through a smoker's head when they light up next to a pregnant woman or children.

I can understand it causing nausea to the OP Worra but she also asked if she was being unreasonable in asking them to move. She has a bloody good case for asking them to move not just because the smell makes her feel sick but also because they are expecting her to ingest their toxic smoke just because they can't be arsed sitting somewhere else.

Wallison I agree about the balcony. It's not very nice to have second-hand smoke drifting across when you are eating but if that's the only place the guy can smoke, then they may have to lump it.

Lovely attitude to you anti-smokers btw. Presumably you'd prefer to be able to light up wherever you feel like it and sod the rest of the human population?

Ah yes, a rant comparing the Holocaust to the ban on smokers. Very tactful.

Only a complete and utter arsehole would compare the ban on smoking in public places to Nazism where millions of Jews were rounded up and slaughtered.

I think it is often just a case of people not being aware of things around them - when i am out and about i am usually fairly oblivious - I would like to think that it is that rather than any kind of maliciousness.

I think it's ridiculous to expect that poor guy not lighting up on HIS balcony.

Wallison Your post was actually really offensive to people who lost loved ones in the Holocaust. Not wanting to inhale smoke is not the same as mass genocide FFS.

And actually, I don't really care that much about inhaling or smelling smoke. It doesn't particularly bother me but your comment and response did.