Smoking in public places - WIBU to ask them to move??!

[Umlauf]

I'm 6months pregnant at the moment so this is bothering me more than usual..

On at least 4 occasions this week, I've sat down with my DH on a public bench/beach/outside cafe/park. (I'm aware that people can smoke in public and its their right so we just don't sit next to anyone smoking - aside from passive smoking risks the smell just makes me gag now). There are loads of other places to sit so why do the smokers come and sit RIGHT NEXT TO me and my very visible bump and light up immediately?

If they were there first then fair enough, but why choose to come and sit next to the pregnant woman? I've seen it happen a lot where there are families with pushchairs too, people happily smoke in their baby's face...

And WIBU to ask them politely to sit elsewhere next time this happens? (Assuming an abundance of available seats, which there always are otherwise I'd understand)

I know they have a right to sit where they like, but isn't this just common courtesy? Same as I wouldn't play loud tinny music on a phone when sat right next to other people?

The thing that always really annoys gets me is the way that some smokers will sit at a table with their lit cigarette, extending their arm behind them between puffs, so that the smoke doesn't interfere with them but contaminates the air at the next table

You could ask them to move although I suspect many wont. The problem is that a lot of smokers don't realise how much the smoke actually gets around even outside. My MIL for example insists that other people can't smell the smoke when she smokes out of the back door which is rubbish because it stinks the room out. I don't say anything because it doesn't bother me enough to upset her but in your case with it making you feel sick I don't see the harm.

Why would you say no, norain ?

If I was sat with a drink at tables at a bar in a town square for example, there are no separate smoking non-smoking areas. You didn't see that I was pregnant, fair enough, but you hadn't ordered drinks yet and I said, "excuse me, sorry to bother you but I've just noticed you're about to smoke, I was wondering whether you wouldn't mind sitting in one of the other seats, because I'm in the direct line of smoke and I'm pregnant and very sensitive to the smell at the moment."

What would your reply be?

I'm just wondering because I'm quite non confrontational and so want to be prepared for the response I might get if I do ask! I'm off to the square for a drink today, so it may well happen...!!

most smokers don't have common courtesy

Utter bollocks. Nice bit of generalising there.

I smoke and and generally try to avoid standing near people when I smoke. I forgot once years ago, and a woman politely asked me to move away from her and explained her reasons why. I apologised and moved away. Job done.

Haha secondcoming well yes it does help, perhaps you could contribute with how you would address it if someone did the same and came and sat next to your child and started smoking? Because as I mentioned in my OP, I have noticed its not just happening to me, lots of smokers wafting in children's/babies faces.

Thesecondcoming - my ds was premature and suffered many chest infections as a baby in and out of hospital. We had the inhalers with a little mask for him. We stopped to give him some and while we still had the mask on a woman sat down next to us a lit up!

Thanks brian

I guess it depends on whether the smoker I ask is doing it because

A) they hadn't noticed or considered how it affects the people around them
B) they don't care

If a, they wouldn't necessarily mind my asking. If b, they would.

Unfortunately since the indoor smoking ban it's virtually impossible to enjoy any outdoor space as the smokers all congregate there instead! It's completely spoilt being able to sit outside in a lovely pavement cafe, or pub garden for me.

Smokers often seem to think that the mere act of being outside its enough to absolve them of any responsibility for the comfort of the people around them, and are often oblivious (or just don't care) that their smoke is drifting on the breeze right into the face of a non-smoker.

It's Sod's Law - we find a nice empty table/bench to sit at, order some food/drink, and five minutes later someone comes along and lights up right where the smoke drifts towards me and my lunch. Every bloody time.

If I ever smoke in public (which is a rare occurrence) I find myself a nice area away from any other people. (Unless I'm outside a pub or club)

I always assume everyone is a non-smoker too.

Maybe they thought you were just fat?!

I do make a conscious decision not to smoke around other people if it is avoidable. It's ridiculous the number of people that have come over to stand beside me whilst I've already been smoking then make wafting gestures and underbreath comments about the smell. FUCK OFF THEN I didn't go stand next to you!

If you're sensitive to something, move. I'm sensitive to the smell of BO but wouldn't dream of saying something if someone stinky came and sat next to me, I'd move.

You don't know who has asthma, or is pregnant or who struggles to be around cigarette smoke for whatever reason. That is why unless you are in an allocated smoking area you shouldn't light up next to anyone who isn't smoking.

But TSC why should I as a non smoker have to keep my son inside so he doesn't have to breathe in other peoples smoke? If we go to a cafe and its nice why shouldn't we sit outside to enjoy the fresh air?

If people want to smoke then they should move away from other people if they are in a cafe type setting.

These bars don't have inside seating, they are cafe square type bars. Inside there is the loo and the actual bar itself, with maybe 2 stools. No other tables or chairs. They are forced to sit there as much as a non smoker is.

All the bars in my town are like this.

Would you really never take him to a bar or cafe because of smokers? And that doesn't frustrate you?

Why should they care? They don't know you nor care about you. They have been hounded so they are now outside only - and outside is where they are.

If you don't like it, move.

The OP made the point that the smoker chose to sit next to them and light up even though there were other places to sit. She also acknowledges that if they were there first, then fair enough.

So it does come down to basic consideration. To be fair, most of the smokers I know (and that's hardly any! ) wouldn't dream of lighting up in the proximity of anyone else unless they knew that person was a fellow smoker.

But secondcoming as I explained almost all the bars and cafes in my down are outdoor. There are no indoor cafes in the town centre!!! I'm not commandeering??!

town not down

no indoor cafés? That must suck big time in the winter.

Do you harangue every car driver because of exhaust fumes?

Last tango - I have to avoid walking along busy roads with DS but thankfully exhaust fumes aren't the same immediate trigger as cigarette smoke is for him.

I refuse to not let him sit outside though because some selfish sod might decide they can't move away from non smokers before lighting up

There are one or two out of the town centre amazing the town centre ones have powerful outdoor heaters and I've even been given blankets in winter, we live in a really touristy area in Northern Spain so its never a problem... Not sure if that's relevant?

No, last tango because they don't seem to choose to park right next to where I am sitting and point their exhaust pipes in my face! They drive past. Smokers smoke whilst walking past, I don't have a problem with them either! I'm not sure you have quite understood the point...