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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Ok, so I was 'unreasonable', but wtaf?

51 replies

KirjavaTheCat · 27/06/2013 16:21

On the way back from town with my 3yo, we came to a wide double pelican crossing. Both crossings were green so we crossed, came to the middle island and prepared to cross again. Just as we'd stepped foot onto the road the green man disappeared. As we'd started walking across the road, I thought we may as well carry on (the part that makes me unreasonable), so we did.

Anyway, half way across the road, the woman in the car waiting to go, beeped at us, frightening DS causing him to drop his apple and scream. We finally made it to the other side (after I basically had to drag DS across the road because he wanted to retrieve his apple.)

The woman in the car, instead of driving off, revved her engine while she shouted at me and DS, calling me a 'dozy fucking cunt' telling me to 'fuck off' and 'look where I am fucking going'. Then sped off with her three children in the back (school run rage?)

I'm feeling annoyed and shaky. Never been shouted at like that by a complete stranger before. Was she justified? I don't drive, but I can't honestly say I'd feel like screaming and swearing at someone in front of their child because they crossed when the light changed.

OP posts:

DiscoDonkey · 27/06/2013 16:24

she was a complete tosser

jollygoose · 27/06/2013 16:24

of course she wasnt justified she is a loon! What sort of woman acts like that in front of her own dc. Sorry that happened to you and your ds.

Moominsarehippos · 27/06/2013 16:24

What a ratbag! Totally unnecessary. I'm assuming it was the flashing green man? In which case, she was in the wrong.

notafan0fy00 · 27/06/2013 16:25

Even after the green man goes off for you, it's still red for the drivers (or at least flashing amber) so that they can only go if people aren't on the crossing.

She sounds vile and I pity her children.

1Veryhungrycaterpillar · 27/06/2013 16:26

She sounds horrific, what kind if language is that to use in front of kids especially over nothing, I would have just waited for you to get across, kids dawdle, she has issues. YANBU and well done for not stooping to her level

HandMini · 27/06/2013 16:26

Are you in London? I will massively generalise here and say I've been screamed and sworn at in London loads but nowhere else.

BerthaTheBogCleaner · 27/06/2013 16:26

Well, even if you'd stood in the road singing opera while ds ate his entire apple, she wouldn't be justified in yelling that kind of stuff at you.

I thought that once you'd stepped onto the crossing, you had right of way? Maybe thats just zebra crossings. I also thought that the green man disappears at the same time as the driver's lights go orange, to allow people to finish crossing. And that you're not supposed to start driving till it's green. I realise as I type that I'm not sure why I think all this, I'm off to google!

Squitten · 27/06/2013 16:27

YANBU! There's never an excuse for behaving like that.

RumersHasIt · 27/06/2013 16:27

She was being unreasonable talking to you so horribly.

You were being unreasonable to put yours and your child's life at risk by crossing the road when it wasn't safe to do so.

I'm not a driver myself, but i know a lot of road-ragey people.

Try not to take it personally. She was probably just having a shit day and taking it out on you or she's just a natural bitch. Or quite possibly she swore at you out of fear. She might have got the fright of her life realising she'd almost flattened a small child. I know i sometimes scream out obscenities when i get sudden scare.

DuchessOfAvon · 27/06/2013 16:27

YANBU:

Highway code states:

At traffic lights. There may be special signals for pedestrians. You should only start to cross the road when the green figure shows. If you have started to cross the road and the green figure goes out, you should still have time to reach the other side, but do not delay.

School Rage Driver was BU and made the situation worse.

NaturalBlondeYeahRight · 27/06/2013 16:28

All pedestrians have right of way over cars. What a bitch. I would have sat in the road

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 27/06/2013 16:28

If you've started crossing the road when the green man goes off you're supposed to carry on. So YANBU even where you think you are. The woman was so out of order it's impossible to find any justification for her behaviour. Perhaps she was going too fast and frightened herself when she saw you on crossing and took that out on you.

KD0706 · 27/06/2013 16:30

I think that if you've started crossing then its ok to keep going so I'm not convinced you were unreasonable to keep crossing.

But even if you did do wrong, the driver is completely in the wrong and SO unreasonable.

My three year old would have been hysterical if that had happened to us. What a cow. And I feel sorry for her children if that's the sort of behaviour she thinks is appropriate

RumersHasIt · 27/06/2013 16:30

If it's the type of road I'm thinking of, there would be two lots of traffic lights/green man(s)... (Men)?

One at the pavement before crossing the road. Then another at the island.

Locketjuice · 27/06/2013 16:37

She's a wanker! The high street I drive through most days has a crossing it has a green man for all of 2 seconds then goes flashy orange, I would never dream of revving my engine and screaming at someone to cross especially with a baby!

Original poster

KirjavaTheCat · 27/06/2013 16:39

That's the type, Rumers. She was stopped there before we even got to the crossing, so she didn't have to slow down for us or anything. Maybe she was about to start driving when she saw us and that annoyed her?

OP posts:

Plumpcious · 27/06/2013 16:40

Was it a staggered crossing, or a single crossing with a small island? A staggered crossing (see 28 of this page of the Highway Code www.gov.uk/rules-pedestrians-1-to-35/crossings-18-to-30) is treated as two separate crossings so you should wait for the green man on both legs.

But even if it was a staggered crossing, it sounds like you were still in the right as you had stepped into the road before the green man disappeared.

The driver should have been stationary anyway, having stopped at a red traffic light? So you were hardly putting yourself and your child into danger by stepping out in front of a car that was stationary in front of a red traffic light.

FrustratedSycamoresRocks · 27/06/2013 16:41

If there's an island in the middle then it is classed as 2 separate crossings.

However school run rage driver probably needs a few chill pills and a strong coffee.

Luckily you just had a mouthful of vile abuse, I know a few children who've been hit crossing at crossings (on the green man).

icklemssunshine1 · 27/06/2013 16:43

Should've reminded her of the Highway Code - pesestrians have right of way when already on the road but she sounded like a bitch so would've only caused more aggro.

Sounds like she's setting a wonderful example!

Iwishitwouldgetwarmer · 27/06/2013 16:44

YANBU as you stepped onto the crossing before the green man went off. She can't have been waiting long as there's quite a delay between the green man flashing and the lights on the road turning to green.

It was a total overreaction from her so don't worry. It always amazes me that some people with children of their own don't make allowances for other people with children as you know small children aren't the quickest at getting across a road.

loveliesbleeding1 · 27/06/2013 16:46

Silly bitch thats all..just that, x

SqueezeMeBakingPowder · 27/06/2013 16:46

There are old style and new style controlled crossings. The old ones are pelican which have the flashing amber/green man light which means that in the drivers case, if no one is on the crossing, then they can go. If there is someone crossing then they should wait.
There are now puffin crossings which are on a sensor so they know when the pedestrian has crossed.
If a pedestrian is still crossing, no matter what the lights are for the drivers, then they must wait for pedestrians to cross.
YWNBU in any way, shape or form op. Bullying and being verbally abusive to a pedestrian, especially with children in the car is just a disgrace!
The stupid car woman should give herself more time to get to school if she feels the 5 seconds I'm sure it took you to cross the road, will make her so late!

LaurieFairyCake · 27/06/2013 16:47

Pedestrians have right of way at all times.

She was, quite simply, a fucking wanker.

I'd have stopped in the fucking road, taken a photo of her car and reported it to the police.

mumofthemonsters808 · 27/06/2013 16:48

Well that was very grown up of her and she is a great role model for her children, disgraceful behaviour. The horrible despicable people always stay in our minds and I like to believe they are a minority. I'm angry on your behalf.

ShatnersBassoon · 27/06/2013 16:49

You weren't even unreasonable to keep going when the green man went off, that's what you're supposed to do! She was an impatient idiot.

I hope she's now sitting at home mulling it over and realising she made a complete dick of herself, then finds she struggles to get to sleep tonight because she keeps reliving the moment when she made a complete dick of herself, then wakes at 3am and remembers that she made a complete dick of herself and can't get back to sleep because she feels like a complete dick

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