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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

child modelling as a way of raising money for school fees

139 replies

kirikou · 27/06/2013 09:16

DC1 currently at selective independent although not a stellar one (so don't go thinking Eton etc.) and loving it. 40% of fees paid so we 'only' have to pay £7200 a year plus extras.

DC2 would love to go to this school. We are not 'rolling in it' (happy to post more details of finances if necessary) and I've read all the threads that say you shouldn't go fee paying unless you can comfortably afford it.

AIBU to think that modelling for DC2 might be a way of raising some much needed funds?

OP posts:

Original poster

kirikou · 27/06/2013 11:39

Dione, we like our life atm with me working pt.

It's sounding more and more like there's not much money to be made by investigating the modelling route.

It just seemed 'sensible' to me and DH last night at midnight when we had a rare moment of discussing DS and all of his attributes and the fact that he seemed a little 'off' when I picked him up at his new school and that when I relayed that to DD she said he'd love the Prep at her school (not on our radar as we can't afford it) yadda, yadda, yadda...

OP posts:

50shadesofvomit · 27/06/2013 11:42

Im surprised that you think having your child earn school fees is an option. Surely any sane parent would sell stuff, borrow more on the mortgage, reduce spending to increase spending or get second jobs?
What the others are saying is that if you can find the reduced fees for dc1, you shouldn't have put her in private if you couldn't match it with a private education for dc2. If anything dc2 would gain more from private education if they are less academic than dc1.

Original poster

kirikou · 27/06/2013 11:46

DS is not less academic than DD he's just lucky that the 'free' school is a boys grammar.

We have borrowed more on the mortgage, that's how we'd manage to fund him for the first few years and how we can keep paying for DD. I have another DS who is at an outstanding primary and should be there for the next 5 years by which stage we may not need to pay for DD anymore.

OP posts:

mrsjay · 27/06/2013 11:51

if your non fee paying kids are such OUTSTANDING schools why do you need to go private for ?

Original poster

kirikou · 27/06/2013 12:09

Another thing that I may have not made explicit enough is that there is a possibility that this could be a step in the right direction for DS wrt his drama which he loves.

The opportunity to embrace things like drama are quite limited in the schools around us (we are fairly rural, not sure if that makes a difference).

OP posts:

lunar1 · 27/06/2013 12:14

I just cant get past the fact that your DD is in a school which is not even on your radar for your ds due to money, and you really cant see anything wrong with this!

StanleyLambchop · 27/06/2013 12:17

I think that it is a different matter if she wants to do modelling because she thinks she will enjoy it, but doing it to fund her schooling? What happens if she doesn't enjoy it as much as you hope? If you must proceed down this route then why not let her try it a few times before you stake her education on it. In the meantime review your own finances. You really should not be doing this if you are not sure you can step in and pay her fees if the modelling does not work out.

BettyYeti · 27/06/2013 12:21

Have you looked into acting roles? There are a few child acting roles around at the moment (particularly if he is fairly short) with Charlie and the Chocolate factory, Matilda etc, particularly if he can sing/dance as well as act. They turn over the cast every so often. Obviously these are extremely difficult to get, but the castings appear to be genuinely open so if he is really talented, it might be a possibility and in my view a more more interesting and fun experience for the children than modelling. If you are looking at agents, have a look at one that deals with acting as well as modelling and see what comes of it. It is true to say that for most of the opportunites you need to be within a certian distance from London although for the lead roles I think they will take children from further and get them tutors etc.
FWIW if you are sending each child to the school that you genuinely beleive is the right one for them, I dont think it really matters that one is state and one is private.

BarbarianMum · 27/06/2013 12:21

OP, come on.

You may like your life with you working part-time, I can understand that - we do the same.

But you can't have it all. If you want private education for both children you (you and your dp) are going to have to pay for it. If he can't earn more, and you (collectively) can't spend less then you are going to have to earn more, not pass that fantasy responsibility on to your dc.

Apart from anything, I guess the reason working part time works for you is that it allows you to do all the housework/cooking/cleaning/dentist appointments/play dates/ general child chauffering that needs doing. If you spend this time accompanying dc2 to auditions/photoshoots then you will loose that and will be 'working' full time, only not getting paid for it.

Also, and I may be wrong about this, you do seem to have very 'compartmentalised' ideas about the strengths and weaknesses of very young children (apologies if I'm reading more into your posts than is there). Your dd may be bright but I bet she is other things too. Your ds may well be extremely academic, in time. So yes support their interests but please don't pigeon-hole their futures.

orangepudding · 27/06/2013 12:24

Do it for a bit of fun if your ds will enjoy it but be aware that an agent will not take your ds on if you can only attend casting and jobs during school holidays. Most parents are lucky if their children break even once travel costs have been accounted for. Most children will go to lots of castings and rarely get a job, a small minority of kids get the majority of jobs.

Original poster

kirikou · 27/06/2013 12:28

DD's school excels in music as does she. DS is not that musical although has been given the opportunity to learn 3 instruments and is currently loving one of them. That is why DD's school is not on our radar for DS.

BettyYeti, thanks for the acting steer. Do you have any more info? He has said recently that he loves singing although he has an unusually low voice and he has always wanted breakdancing lessons but there aren't any classes around here .

OP posts:

Dackyduddles · 27/06/2013 12:48

Kiri

"I'm not great at thinking long term."

You didn't appear to need the last two words there. This is a very flawed plan. I'm amazed dh is going along with it....

DowntonTrout · 27/06/2013 13:04

Musical theatre rolls go to the kids who can sing, dance and act.

Your son, it appears, is not trained in two of the necessary disciplines. Many, many, children excel at all three and still don't get parts. They might make an exception with one of the three for a small part, say just lines, but in general, children in the west end need to sing and dance to a high standard.

The last audition my DD did they had been casting for the roll for 3 weeks and had seen close to 2000 girls.

Child modelling is completely different. In that you have to look the part, be photogenic and have an easy going personality. No other special skills required. It is possible that this can lead to tv work / commercials. But your DS might get one job and never work again. That is a highly likely scenario.

BettyYeti · 27/06/2013 13:07

Re acting, I have a small amount of knowledge on this as DD was "talent scouted" at one of her classes for the film they are making of Swallows and Amazons and went to a couple of rounds of auditions (to say she was talent scouted is probably over-selling it as I think they did approach a lot of children with the right look in the right age range to audition, in part as a way of starting to build publicity). Anyway, in researching that I came across a website called notapushymum aimed at mums with children who are into acting. The audition forum does tend to have quite a lot of info on opportunities, including Charlie and Matilda, and there are mums on there whose children have had decent parts. There is also some info on modelling. DD enjoyed her audition experience so we did have a think about whether we should try to get her an agent, but in the end we decided not for her (at least at this stage). Some of the mums are quite full on pushy, but there are a lot who are on there who have chidlren who are genuinely interested and the ones who are driving it and they are helpful (although they do like you to read the boards before asking questions in case the info is already there). There is also good stuff about which agents are best etc.

Miamiami · 27/06/2013 13:16

You should never make differences in your children. One goes to a paid school and not the other one? Awful beyond words....

Original poster

kirikou · 27/06/2013 13:22

Thank you BettyYeti, I have just been reading NotAPushyMum . Food for thought.

He does have a fantastic memory for lines (got a long monologue 100% correct after one reading ). His drama teacher asked if he had a photographic memory. He doesn't but still, he appears to have a number of useful skills for this line of 'work'.

Downtown, I know what you are saying and I'm sure the competition would be v.stiff. He is definitely not competent in those skills of singing and dancing, so perhaps musical theatre is out. He does have a fantastic voice, you should hear him reading Shakespeare, he just seems to know what to do with the words (intonation?).

OP posts:

emilialuxembourg · 27/06/2013 13:25

DD has earned £40 for child modelling over 4 years.
Its the maddest plan. If you plan to stay at home, start ebaying stuff or something like that. The pittance you'd get from that would still be more than your likely to get from modelling.

NatashaBee · 27/06/2013 13:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TimeofChange · 27/06/2013 13:43

I've seen 'very clever' children being sent to private schools from local state schools so they fullfil their potential, but often they don't.

They get distracted or cannot be bothered, yes, even in high achieving private schools.
Often children get really good results just by going to the local comp, working hard and having parental support.

My friend has spent £100k over 12 years on private education for her very clever son, at good schools, but he got pretty average GCSE results, something like 3 As, and 6 Bs.
Fifteen or so, kids at the local comp got 10 As or A*.

Basically he wasn't that fussed and couldn't be bothered working hard.

DIYapprentice · 27/06/2013 13:56

You should never make differences in your children. One goes to a paid school and not the other one? Awful beyond words....

Don't agree 100% with that. I think it's more that 'You should never make differences that leave one child disadvantaged'.

If there is a brilliant single sex state school that one of your DC can go to and but the other one cannot (due to different gender) then clearly it would be fine to send the other one to a fee paying school - because the differences are not disadvantaging them.

Floggingmolly · 27/06/2013 13:57

FFS! We've now moved on from child modelling to musical theatre in the West end, on the basis that your ds "loves singing"...
Get a fecking job yourself if there's a shortfall in your finances, you're living in cloud cuckoo land.

DowntonTrout · 27/06/2013 13:59

I would never try putting anyone off going for it, in the acting/modelling world. That is not my intention and it would be disingenuous of me, considering the position I am in with DD.

It's just your reasoning behind it that is unworkable.

If your DS wants to try his hand, then get behind him and support him. But be aware, we have spent and are spending a huge amount of time and money to enable DD to try to reach her full potential. It does not work the other way around.

Original poster

kirikou · 27/06/2013 14:02

Point taken Downtown. I think we'll stick with the school situation as is (no extra money required) but step up the support for what he's interested in.

Thanks MN for talking me down .

OP posts:

Mumsyblouse · 27/06/2013 14:14

I agree with DIY that different children sometimes need different schools, I shall certainly be paying for my dd2 attend a private school if I can afford it and she doesn't get into the school my dd1 is likely to go to. I think the general rule is: is it likely to be perceived as favouritism when the children are older? Mind you, some parents seem to think it's normal to invest all their time and attention in one child- I keep thinking of that child genius programme where the mum was convinced the boy was a child genius and her girl not, even though the girl did really well in all the (ridiculous) tests.

Your ideas do seem a bit bonkers, I can't understand why you don't get yourself a better job and more money, it would be personally satisfying and not depend on your children doing this that and the other which they may not be suitable for.

Mumsyblouse · 27/06/2013 14:16

Ok- I see you've admitted your wildest fantasies are not realistic on this one, but it's great if you encourage your son from where he is now (classes, tutors whatever- and doors may open from this anyway. And- how do you know he doesn't have a photographic memory if he knows a whole speech from one reading? I do and that's the kind of thing I could do when I was younger and still had the full complement of brain cells

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