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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

child modelling as a way of raising money for school fees

139 replies

kirikou · 27/06/2013 09:16

DC1 currently at selective independent although not a stellar one (so don't go thinking Eton etc.) and loving it. 40% of fees paid so we 'only' have to pay £7200 a year plus extras.

DC2 would love to go to this school. We are not 'rolling in it' (happy to post more details of finances if necessary) and I've read all the threads that say you shouldn't go fee paying unless you can comfortably afford it.

AIBU to think that modelling for DC2 might be a way of raising some much needed funds?

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 27/06/2013 10:35

OP is clear a daft idea, but I am intrigued by something TSSDNCOP said. Exactly how long is your DC not going to know that you pay their fees? Surely they are going to work it out pretty quickly. My DC are 10 and 6 and both understand that there are some schools that you pay for and some you don't, and that Mummy and Daddy chose this one because we thought they would like it, and that paying for school is one of the reasons Mummy and Daddy both work. It doesn't mean we are putting any guilt trip on them - but they do know and I can't see how you could avoid them knowing.

Cherriesarelovely · 27/06/2013 10:39

Well I suppose imo it is the principle and pressure put on your dc2 to raise the extra funds and the long term situation. I do have one friend who has had some of her 4 kids in private ed and some not in various combinations.....I'm not that sure why, she does have an idea that "boys need the structure and rigour more than girls". Mmmmmm??!!

KatyTheCleaningLady · 27/06/2013 10:39

OP, is there anything else about the modelling that appeals to you? Do you like the idea of your daughter being admired, and her beauty recognised by others? I am just wondering if there's an element of stage mum vanity at work, since you seem to disregard the practical problems of time demands and realistic earning potential.

StuntGirl · 27/06/2013 10:43

"I'm not great at thinking long term"

"Your not great at thinking, full stop."

Arf!

kirikou · 27/06/2013 10:46

Dontmind, I could work more/earn more but me working part time works for us as a family.

stealth, my DC know about school fees but I wouldn't want them to stress about it.

Like I said, we could 'afford' two years Prep which would hopefully improve chances of 'passing' 11+. The modelling (hopefully with a lucky break) could be a way of funding any further independent ed should DC2 'fail' the 11+.

Thank you all for helping me to get things into perspective - my initial enthusiasm is waning.

OP posts:
enormouse · 27/06/2013 10:47

Surely your child would need to have a paid job lined up practically every week to be able to raise the kind of money needed for school fees? Really doesn't seem fair to your DC2.

I briefly considered modelling for my son (20mo) but the practicalities, irregularity of work and cost of a professional portfolio (my DP is an actor and in the industry) are simply not worth it.

mrsjay · 27/06/2013 10:48

I am not sure what lucky break you are expecting TBH people who have experience of modelling have told you that it is not a great money spinner and their kids are not rolling in money

kirikou · 27/06/2013 10:49

Katy, no stage mum vanity at work Smile. DC2 has a definite 'look' and a charming and witty personality which is the only reason we are even considering this madness..

OP posts:
fromparistoberlin · 27/06/2013 10:51

is this for real?

TSSDNCOP · 27/06/2013 10:55

Stealth reading my post back I can see why my point looks odd.

Obviously DC will know eventually that his is a fee paying school. The sign outside gives it away. But I would like our family attitude to be "yep, this is a school we love and the fact it's fee paying is incidental".

I just don't think it has to be something that needs to be forefront in a DC's mind. I don't want him thinking his school is "better" because his is fee paying. And I certainly don't want him thinking he has to perform because we'd be disappointed our fees weren't paying off.

Does that make more sense?

Mitzyme · 27/06/2013 10:59

IF this is for real.
DC1 - son
DC2 - girl

TheFallenNinja · 27/06/2013 10:59

I can't put my finger on why this makes me feel uncomfortable?

DontmindifIdo · 27/06/2013 11:00

OP - while you working part time might work for your family, if you are to raise the sort of money you need, you'll need to remove your DC2 from education one day a week for castings/work. Do you think that you being at home part time would be better for DC2's education that 5 days a week at school?

Seriously, either you aren't going to make the money via modelling, or you are, but DC2's education will have to become parttime.

You say you aren't great at long term thinking, but you need to start - you have created a situation where your DC2 has an inferior education to DC1 - the fact that you justify that by saying DC1 is brighter doesn't change the fact that DC2's education isn't as good. Next, you are going to try to make it fairer, because DC1 thinks it would be good for DC2, do you think your DC2 would do well at that school? Had it not occurred to you sooner that it was highly unfair to give the extra academic help (through being at a better private school) to child who needs extra help academically the least (DC1), rather than the child who needs it the most (DC2)?

You seem to have decided that academic results don't matter for DC2 (I really hope it's not a case that DC1 is a boy and DC2 is a girl). If they aren't as gifted, they need the extra push more, not less. Removing them one day a week for outside work is going to mean they are even less likely to do well accademically.

Really, a mum who works full time would be better for DC2 than having an inferior education experience (either by not having the great private school or by going there but losing a day a week to modelling/castings).

also remember htat castings and model shoots won't be normal school hours, so you will still need to make sure you have paid for childcare for DC1 for the days you are at shoots/castings with DC2.

kirikou · 27/06/2013 11:00

TSSDN and Stealth, friends of ours don't let on to their DC about their school fees. These are the same parents who didn't tell their DS what would happen at the doctors she he was getting a jab - the poor kid was quite traumatised and thought he would deflate like a balloon

OP posts:
stealthsquiggle · 27/06/2013 11:04

TSSDNCOP - yes, that makes a lot more sense, and I agree.

kirikou · 27/06/2013 11:09

Thanks again folks.

Mitzyme, you are wrong, DC1 = DD and DC2 = DS.

They are both bright. We really do have a stellar boys grammar a bus ride away and like I said, DD's independent whilst being the best in our county is not in the same league as the grammar in the next county over.

OP posts:
kirikou · 27/06/2013 11:10

Dontmind, I was hoping castings would be in the school hols - of which there are many in the private sector.

OP posts:
kirikou · 27/06/2013 11:13

Also, DS has a place at an outstanding faith school. DD didn't get an offer of a place there so went to our catchment 'good' middle school.

I am not short-changing either of my DC, I'm trying my best to give each of them the best educational experience that I/we can.

OP posts:
TSSDNCOP · 27/06/2013 11:14

Kiri I don't think you can compare my and Stealths attitude to your friend. We aren't talking about whether Santa's real.

And our attitude is, I think, healthier than yours where you haven't made the basic parental decisions regarding your children's long term education. And the success of one child's education is based on their looks.

That's just fucked up.

MrsHoarder · 27/06/2013 11:14

OP per hour you are likely to be better off working behind a bar at the weekend than trying to find child modelling work. That's fairly simple to understand.

You have a family, its time to learn how to do long term thinking. Doesn't come naturally to everyone, get a pen and some paper and work out your/DH's income against schooling costs for the next 8 years. Then look at how much time your DC will be at school/home throughout the week/year, and what additional hours are available for each of you to work.

Its time to grow up and plan long term if you don't want resentment between the siblings/towards you when they do realise how their educations differed.

Bejeena · 27/06/2013 11:14

Sorry I don't think it is fair that you have paid for private education for one child but can't afford for the other. I guess either you or your husband will have to take on an extra job in the evenings or something to get the money if you can't afford it.

DioneTheDiabolist · 27/06/2013 11:15

Hoping is not the same as knowing. Is your DS small for his age?

kirikou · 27/06/2013 11:26

Dione, he is probably less than average height wise.

TSS, I haven't made 'the basic parental decisions regarding your children's long term education' although I have secured DS a place at an outstanding out of catchment faith school and he is 'on track' (in as much as you can be) for one of the top schools in the country (it is no accent that we live a bus ride away).

What is unhealthy about investigating all of our 'options' ?

OP posts:
DioneTheDiabolist · 27/06/2013 11:30

For most people relying on a young child to contribute to necessary household expenditure is not an option worth exploring. A much better idea in terms of financial return and stability would be for you to increase your working hours.

Have you considered that?

TarkaTheOtter · 27/06/2013 11:31

OP you are living in a fantasy world if you think child modelling will pay your son's school fees.