To be unable to stop wondering where this girl is?

[notafan0fy00]

You know how some news stories just 'get to you' more than others? This story about the missing student, Yulia, who disappeared on 7th June in Edinburgh, has really got under my skin.

They've now found footage of her that day in Glasgow, so she's got on a bus to Glasgow without telling anyone and without her phone. She hasn't used her passport, bank accounts or social networking since. Her dad was due over from Russia about two days later.

(www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-23047299 )

I know it sounds insane but I can't stop thinking about this young girl - wondering where she is and why? :(

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-23047299

I guess it is unreasonable, as you don't know her, don't know whether or not she is 'missing' and thinking won't help her.

But some stories do get to you more than others, and so its not unreasonable in that sense.

Maybe think about why its bothering you so much, is it because you have underlying anxiety or something else on your mind.

I do that occasionally. Not this case but others have definitely got to me. I've even driven around looking for someone once. I think I was focusing my own anxieties at the time.

Oh dear. It's tough when that happens. Have got no advice on how to move on from it though.

I was worried about This Indian Girl who went missing in London...odd circumstances....she's just turned up in Sotland...yanbu....I get like this from time to time.

The Indian girl was very odd. How did she get to rural Perthshire when she'd never been to the UK before?

There are posters of Yulia up in cafes in glasgow city centre. Hopefully she'll be found safe.

How bizarre about the Indian girl. I was just thinking about her when I started reading this thread. Why no UK publicity that she has been found? How did she get there?

she either went there herself or was taken.

It's true some news stories can hit us unexpectedly hard. I found (as i'm sure millions of others did) the awful unfolding of the events surrounding April Jones' abduction last year very upsetting - the daily searches coming to nothing each time. etc. I found the recent hot air balloon accident in Egypt particularly upsetting too. I was in tears at the footage.

It's normal, OP, to take some things to heart. Perhaps their is a reason deep down why this particular incident is resonating so strongly with you? Don't fret though. I hope this girl is found safe and sound very soon too.

The Indian girl was very strange. I thought it was strange when I read it and then the follow up was even weirder.

An article I read said she had intentionally run away and made it to Scotland by herself.

The family had declined to release any details.

I am not sure. DH suggested that it's because she looks a bit like me, but I was also a bit obsessed with the Timmy McColl one (remember that sailor who vanished in Dubai leaving wife and 2 kids - plus pregnancy)? He's never shown up. I was checking daily for news though and on the FB page, and am now the same with this girl.

Perhaps the idea that people can just vanish frightens me, but also I find it disturbing that this is so commonplace (apparently) that most of the news channels won't show it or give it much airtime because they get too many requests. She's an only child and the idea of what her parents must be going through just horrifies me.

I don't know why it's bothering me so much but I so hope she turns up safe and well.

YANBU. Sometimes news articles just affect us more than we'd previously have expected. The Joyce Carol Vincent case really shook me up - maybe because I've worked for homelessness agencies and housing associations my whole career and can't imagine how she was left so long.

I understand that OP. I've always wondered what happened to Claudia Laurence. She's the chef who went missing on her way to work in York. As soon as it was revealed she had a 'private' private life, the media attention faded. Her poor family.

I think it's cases you somehow identify with that affect us the most. Maybe it's just because the person in question had a look about them of someone you know and care about. I live very close to the Strand shopping centre where James Bulger was taken from, a few years on and I have a little boy not a million miles away from James - looks wise and that affects me when it's in the news again.

A peer/acquaintance of my eldest son was horrifically and randomly beaten last year (still in hosp with brain injuries) and it made me so angry I found myself curling my fists in almost tears of frustration and anger.

When I only had boys, cases of abuse towards boys and missing boys affected me more than cases of girls which sounds really horrible but I could identify more with the mother of a boy who'd befallen some horrible tragedy. Now I've got an eight year old daughter and had Sarah Payne gone missing now it would have affected me more than it did when it actually happened because I also identify with the mother of an eight year old girl. I'm not saying it didn't affect me, of course cases like that have an effect on any human being with empathy.

Thank you for understanding, and for your empathy.

I really hope that they find this one. I think the other thing is that I want a happy ending. I know full well that these things tend to either peter out with no resolution or have a discovery of a body at the end of them, and I just keep hoping that for once all these families and friends who organise posters, fundraising, tweeting etc get the result that they so desperately want and deserve - the discovery that their friend Yulia is somewhere, safe and alive - perhaps had a nervous breakdown or was in an accident or something but is ok. Not likely I know.

I read you op and thought it was going to be about a missing child.

yabu for refering to a 22 year old as a young girl.

yanbu for wondering what has happened to her.

The mystery is the thing that keeps me awake, the not knowing. My imagination runs riot, and it is unreasonable, I mean... why should I care?

Reasonable or not I do, I hear about a murder and feel sad, sometimes probably unreasonably sad, but there's a resolution, no matter how horrible. Missing people don't have that, and I think it's reasonable to wonder and find that harder to accept as 'just more bad news'.

If it takes over your life, then I would say reasonable or not, it's not particular healthy or helpful... though YANBU for it to get to you, or for caring/wondering.

Are YABU? Probably a bit of both.

Identification is the word I was looking for bottleofbeer. I have a blond DS who was the same age as Baby P when the story broke and is as old as Daniel Pelka would have been.

DD was born when Sarah Payne was missing. I think I will always especially remember Sarah, Peter and Daniel.

Yulia has got to me, too. There are posters up in Aberdeen. I think she's getting to me because she's the same age as my niece, who's a student in Edinburgh, and because she sounds so likeable. The photo of her with her drumming group - she looks like the sort of girl you'd be proud to have as your own.

I was really affected by the time they found the body of an unidentified woman in Manchester...she'd been there since the 70s in the middle of the city....it was haunting and they still haven't identified her.

I live just outside Edinburg and there are posters EVERYWHERE. Absolutely everywhere.

I think it's great that her friends are doing what they can to try and find her but I well up every time and they are everywhere!

I remember Susan Maxwell. And Ginette Tate. The 1970s early 80s ones. I suppose because I was young and it made more of an impression. I think also at the time there was more of a prevalent belief in some faceless bogeyman rather than it being more likely to be someone you know. More dramatic somehow.

My dd is the same age as Madeleine McCann but I certainly don't identify with the McCann situation. I find that idea a bit odd tbh.

What saddens me is some of the people mentioned upthread just don't get the publicity and news coverage that other cases do. What happens to their parents and loved ones? There was a girl local to me who disappeared and was later found dead....she disappeared the same week as Millie Dowler. Even I can't remember the other girl's name or if her killer was found. Because it didn't even make the local bbc news. And that's weird.

I'm glad there are lots of posters around.

It is a bit weird what gets news coverage and what doesn't. There was very little coverage for Timmy MacColl and I kept thinking that his poor wife, pregnant with his third child (that he never saw, now) with two little ones asking 'when is Daddy coming home?' must have been beside herself, and the world not seeming to care.

I won't go into the McCann case because I find that whole one a bit weird tbh in all kinds of ways.

Even this case that's bothering me - the Yulia one - she's now been spotted the day after she disappeared, at Buchannan St Bus Station in Glasgow looking at the departure board - so why are there not television appeals for anyone who left that bus station on that day - someone must have been on a bus with her and know what the destination was! They'll remember now, three weeks later, but soon they'll forget. If that was my little girl I would go insane at the fact that they are not doing everything they can to find her.

And not that it's relevant, btw, but I think it's ok to describe a 22 year old as a young girl.

I got far too upset about a girl who was murdered in Reading a few years back,it was so nasty and I never forgot her name.

Also Marie Wilkes who was murdered when she was nine months pregnant and had broken down on a motorway,it was at the time when DD was also due and no one has ever been caught for it, she had left her young sister in the car with her other baby to go and phone for help.

No one had mobiles then.

There have been so many.