to blank someone on the train that wont stop.talking to.me

[whiteandyellowiris]

On.the way to London for a serious hospital appointment

Sat opposite a woman
She's keen for conversation I.politely humoured her for 10 mins but she wouldn't stop talking at me

Telling me all about her shop in the west end and how she's got a terribly important function ontoday that she didn't want to go to blah blah blah

Soafter 10-15 I just started ignoring her which.does make me feel.guilty
But I can't take an hour.of this not today

Anyway after 10 mins of being ignorned
She.got up and moved

And now she's talking at this.man
Telling him that people are scared of her

And going on and on

Then she.just said.to this man oh look at those two meaning me and my dh
They are.not even talking to each other

Why does this worry you? You didn't want to talk, she did, she moved and now you can sit in silence. Job done!

She sounds nuts!

Why are there 2 threads on this? Arggghhh!!

Because I feel guilty I guess
Normally I.would just.politey humor someone
Even if she is.on about how she knows so many celebs etc and thag she's a designer blah blah blah

Just I.just can't today

I'm.just worried and want to be quiet and peaceful

Maybe AIBU isn't the place to go if you are feeling sensitive/ vulnerable

She has no social skills. Don't worry, its entirely reasonable not to want to talk to a stranger for longer than a few minutes.

You are not unreasonable not to want to talk. And it's probably more normal to handle it the way you did, but you could alternatively have been completely straightforward and said something like "I can see you're in the mood to chat, but I'm really not, at the moment, sorry" and then move..?

Solution (this also applies when you just want a train/bus seat to yourself):

Look into their eyes and with a low earnest voice say...
"When did you last let Jesus into your life?"

Oh sorry for posting twice, the 3g on the train is not good.

You were polite. She rode over that. She then got ignored.

You just can't help all of the people all of the time. Sounds to me she barely noticed too....

Maybe she is ill?
Its understandable that you dont want to talk to a stranger today. You sound like you have a lot on your mind.

Maybe say 'Excuse me, im really not up for a chat today I have an awful lot on my mind. I hope you don't think I am being rude.'

Sister yeah.perhaps.j should have said sorry I.don't want to chat, rather than blank her

Ohwell it all kick off a bit. As she started talking aboutme and dh again, for a second time tutting and saying young people today all they do is this.then started pretending to text.
I just ignorned it again but dh said can you stop talkj.g about us please, not everyone.wants to chat the whole.time.
Then she started crying , and he other man was saying come on deep.breaths

Get me off this train asap

This.is.horrible

Sounds grim, but you aren't responsible for her happiness, and it was rude of her to talk about you. If she doesn't want to get upset, she needs to learn about how social conventions work and not bother people who are clearly not interested.

I guess rather than ignoring her I might have said firmly, but with a big smile, 'gosh, I really want to sit quietly and not talk just now, I'm sure you understand, thanks', which I have done in the past.

But obv she has stuff going on, and no, of course you're not responsible.
You might just be feeling more comfortable yourself now if you'd felt clearer about telling her kindly what you needed :)

It sounds to me like she may be suffering with bipolar disorder. Please don't take anything personally.

It sounds to me like she may be suffering with bipolar disorder.

Are you serious? You can diagnose someone from a few snippets of conversation?!

Ignore her OP, she is nothing to do with you. Good luck for your appointment.

Headphones.

I didn't diagnose did I. "it sounds to me like she may" is hardly a concrete statement. But if I were in a train witnessing someone conversing manically, appearing to have delusions of grandeur, saying incredibly inappropriate things and then bursting into tears it would certainly cross my mind that they were suffering from a mental illness such as bipolar, yes. And as such I would be able to detach myself emotionally from the situation knowing that it isn't their fault.

KK?

The woman said she had an important function, would you assume that was a delusion of grandeur?!

I wonder if there are people out there who have seen me on a bad day (yes, I too have cried on a train) and assigned me a mental illness. Crazy.

YANBU and don't worry about her, look after yourself first and don't worry about anyone else, it's not your fault if she can't handle a stranger not wanting to make small talk on a train. Good luck at the hospital.

It was the celebrity friends that made me think delusions of grandeur. It's a common statement I've come across whilst dealing with unwell inpatients. ie "I'm not gonna be here for long anyways because Bruce Willis is coming to take me to the priory because their coffee is nicer".

And crying is one thing. Everyone cries FFS. Not everyone acts like this woman.

However I can't be bothered to argue with someone on an Internet forum who thinks mental illness is some dirty brush to be tarred with and belittles anyone who dares try to excuse someone else's behaviour. I'm hiding this thread.

Anyways OP as I said, try not to give any of this much headspace. You did nothing wrong. Good luck with your appointment