to be very annoyed with dh?

[MerryMarigold]

For giving a child who'd been vomiting earlier in the evening, water and biscuits and then putting him in our double bed whilst he took off to ds's bed. He did put a bucket next to the bed. But ds is 4 ffs. Not likely to wake up and think, "Ah, I need to be sick, let me just find out where the bucket is, in a strange bedroom". So, I got projectile vomited on, bed clothes, and ds. That was 2am and I have not been able to sleep since. I now have a full on day.

I am so cross. Yes, he dealt with ds for a few hours whilst I went to sleep. I wouldn't have minded doing it, but he was getting on with it, and he'd clearly had enough by 1.30.

So, should I make him take a day off work because I do not want to look after twins today on a couple of hours of sleep.

That's some bad judgement by him right there. YANBU.

Do you both work?

I understand that he lacked judgement in putting the 4 year old in your bed, but there was no way he could know that you would not be able to go back to sleep. Hope you managed to get an extra couple of hours after you posted.

I don't think its reasonable to expect him to take a day off work. I'm sure he feels pretty guilty now anyway.

Hope your little boy is feeling better and try and have a restful day.

I hope that you got some sleep and that you both have a restful day after what was obviously a disturbed night for you both. However, I do think YAB a bit U. I know that when my own kids are sick I always put them in my bed as I can react quick enough to get the bucket to them BEFORE they throw up over the bed, but if they are in a different room then there's no hope. I wouldn't expect him to take the day off either.

If you both work, then yes, why shouldn't he stay at home with a sick child. If your sahm then yabu.

Hope your dc gets well asap.

YABU - what would you have liked him to do?

YANBU

What earthly reason did he have for putting him in your bed? Very much smacks of 'I put in a few hours effort, now I want to get a good night's sleep'

I would ask him to take off work, or at least go in late/come home early, unless it would totally screw him up at work.

Who works outside the home?
What arrangements did you make for who does what before you went to bed?

YANB to be a bit irritated, but YABU to expect him to stay off work when (presumably) you're a SAHM?

I am a SAHM, but have a full day of stuff to do myself. Anyway, I managed to sleep from 5.30-7.30 with only a couple of interruptions of from the kids and dh went to work. And was huffy with me . The cheek of it - huffy with me because "he felt I was annoyed that he'd put the sick child in with me".

I still feel IANBU:
a) Because he fed a puking child. DOH!
b) Then put him in my bed for me to deal with the result
c) Said he would look after him when I went to bed and then didn't because he clearly wanted a bit more sleep
d) Dumped him on me when I was fast asleep and then expected me to deal with it

When I look after the kids and they are sick, I always put them in my bed, but they have never been sick in my bed.
a) I think you are more vigilant when you start the night off with the knowledge you have a sick child in bed with you
b) You know how everything, sick bucket etc. is arranged so you can respond from sleep to puke very quickly
c) NEVER FEED THEM ANYTHING and only small sips of water

Anyway, lesson learned. I will look after them in future as I think I would have had a better, albeit interrupted, night if I'd had ds in my bed from the start.

Of course ds is fine today, but now needs 2 days off school (nursery).

Sorry, is he lacking basic common sense? I'd be furious if someone dumped an ill child in my bed without me knowing. He has no right to be huffy.

If you didn't know he had put the child in your bed then I can see your point, I suppose that I struggle to know how anyone can sleep through anyone getting into bed beside them without waking up as I never have but did he assume that you knew?

When I look after the kids and they are sick, I always put them in my bed, but they have never been sick in my bed.

So he did exactly what you normally do but it wasn't right? No wonder he was in a huff...

Hope you're feeling better today and get a good night's sleep.

Thats what I thought numbers.

And the water wasnt a bad idea.

So basically he is guilty of not waking you to let you know the child was in with you, and giving them a biscuit. I would chop of his todger over it really.

*wouldnt

Yabu really. You are sore because your night was disrupted by a sick child and you want someone to blame.
He did exactly as you would do, apart from the biscuits, but tbh he probably would've puked again anyway. He needed the water because being sick can leave you dehydrated. Small sips of water are recommended.

I understand you're knackered, but I really don't think any of it was your dh's doing.

There is no reason not to give a sick child food. They used to recommend limiting food and then giving a bland diet but they've known for a few years now that this isn't helpful. If the child is hungry enough to ask for food then, within reason, they should be allowed it. Not allowing food doesn't actually prevent vomiting or limit the duration of the illness. So I wouldn't take issue with that side of things.

Did he put your ds in bed with you because that's where he normally sleeps when ill? If so it's not an unfamiliar bed and maybe he thought it was the right thing to do as ds was clearly tired. Tough to call on the bucket front as at 4 I would reasonably expect my child to be sick in a bucket which they would be made aware of before falling asleep. Maybe he had the same expectation. Certainly, from about 3 onwards we've had no vomiting outside of a toilet/bucket incidents.

But only you know your family's dynamics. I would certainly expect to be made aware of the fact that responsibility had been handed over to me for the sick child in the house as then you're prepared for it.

I'd give my child a biscuit if he'd been sick. If he's hungry he needs to eat, and a plain biscuit is ideal. I'd also give water, although just sips. I would also put him in my bed. My son is a daddy's boy, but when he's sick only I will do.

Sounds like your husband has tried really hard and despite everything did really well.

NHS website says not to starve yourself and to eat foods high in carbs. Good work Marigold Husband, just a bit of bad luck. These things happen.

My only thought is, you are one heavy sleeper! If dd gets out of bed in her own room I'm bolt awake, there's no way anyone could get into my bed without me noticing. Am a bit envious!

I was extremely tired, hence the deep sleep, but can be a light sleeper or heavy depending on how relaxed I am. At least one kid has been getting into my bed every night for the past 4 years so now I sleep through it! Still can't sleep through snoring though. If I know there is a sick kid in my bed, I would be sleeping much more lightly.

Showofhands, in terms of being sick in the bucket, I think the key is that this is not where ds went to sleep in and therefore was disoriented over where the bucket was as the sick seemed to come very quickly. Of course, he was awake when he was put in my bed, but not fully awake and not the place he had been sick several times earlier in the night.

I used to feed my kids whatever they fancied, but quickly realised that it all comes up again so it is generally good to give a good few vomit-free hours before food (at least 3-4hours in the day and not food in the middle of the night). Sips of drink but not a big cup of water until the sips are staying down.

Anyway, I feel a bit better now. Some of you are a lot more saintly than me when it comes to your dh's!!

Also, sleep follows different patterns. Just checked and with a 10pm bedtime, 2am is a deep sleep point (deepest part of sleep cycle) so quite likely I was here when ds was dropped off!

I'd be if DH put a vomity ds in bed whilst I was asleep. I think I would have woken but if not he should have made sure you knew they were there. Your DH didn't, because that wasn't what you agreed. Quite sneaky.
If ds is sick in the night, one of us stays with him and the other cleans up.

Ds is ill with a virus at the moment. I'm off work and DH is sleeping in the spare bed with him.

I'm not doubting you :) dh is a much heavier sleeper than me!