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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to blow off sports day?

55 replies

KatyTheCleaningLady · 24/06/2013 13:18

It's sports day, with the activities starting in 15 minutes. I'm exhausted and have a busy evening with Beavers for ds2 tonight.

I grew up in America and sports day is not something that we did. I guess I don't "get it." I have no desire to stand on aching feet watching my kids run races while trying to keep 4yo son under control. I was busy shopping and running errands all morning and I just want to sit until time for the school run!

How bad a mother am I?

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 24/06/2013 13:23

You haven't mentioned whether your child is expecting you and whether they will be upset if you don't turn up?

You don't have to 'get it' by the way, just because you didn't do it as a child.

Startail · 24/06/2013 13:25

YANBU
I was delighted when sports day was cancelled twice and didn't happen last year.

Boring, too hot, too cold, cliquey mothers, unsporty DD1 and DH who always manages to be too busy to come (despite working from home in a flexible manner at othertimes, he never manages sports day. Even more irritatingly he often really has been busy.)

Sports day at seniors is very optional for parents. Hooray!!!

Original poster

KatyTheCleaningLady · 24/06/2013 13:27

One child doesn't care. The other would like me there, but I have warned him that I can't make it. He won't be disappointed in a surprised sense, at least.

OP posts:

ChuckitintheBucket · 24/06/2013 13:28

I completely forgot my sons sports day a couple of weeks ago. I was gutted especially as he won two of his races. Thats moments in his life I wont get back. Does your son want you to go - most kids do want their parents there.

Lonelybunny · 24/06/2013 13:29

I think you should go. My DD1's sports say was from 10 till 3, all day ! I was there with 10 mo in tow , it was freezing cold but it is sports day and it's sposed to be fun :)

CissyMeldrum · 24/06/2013 13:30

This going to be me tomorrow,KS1 is in the morning,KS2 afternoon , I have one ds in each ,there is a picnic at lunchtime and my youngest has a chest infection. I would really like it to rain.

WorraLiberty · 24/06/2013 13:31

I don't understand why you're asking if you're a bad Mother?

One child doesn't care, the other child would like you there but you've told them you're not going...and you don't want to see your kids take part in it anyway.

Just make peace with your own choices. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of your parenting.

Original poster

KatyTheCleaningLady · 24/06/2013 13:46

I feel guilty that I don't want to go. I feel like I'm supposed to care but I don't care.

I like doing other things with my kids. It's not like I don't care about them.... I just think sports day is stupid and boring. I feel the same way about the Christmas shows they put on, but at least they are marginally interesting and I can sit down indoors!

OP posts:

HeadFairy · 24/06/2013 13:49

Personally I can think of better things to do than stand in a windy field watching sports day, but I'm going to go to ds's because it's his first and I think he'd be really upset if I didn't go. I've actually had to book a day off work to go...

I think sometimes you have to do things you don't particularly like to be there for your children.

livinginwonderland · 24/06/2013 13:51

My parents never came to mine because they both worked and didn't have jobs where they could just take time off for things like that. Similarly they rarely came to nativity productions or school plays and my dad never attended a parents evening.

I just think there are more important things than going to every single school event. I did a nativity every year until I was about 11 and it was the same every year. My parents didn't miss out on valuable bits of my childhood just because they didn't come and watch. They were at work and around after school and at weekends and that's what I remembered most.

StinkyElfCheese · 24/06/2013 13:51

I have twins sports day fri and dd's the following ... there is tears at the twins races if one wins the other one cry's.... I have begged them to be put in different races.

I now take a foldy chair a large themos of coffee... and an umbrella :)

TantrumsAndBalloons · 24/06/2013 13:54

If you don't want to go that's up to you.

I didn't go to ds2 last year because I couldn't get the day off work. He knew that. He was ok with it.

I don't like sports days but I do try to go, normally I can book the day off work. I go because sometimes it's nice for them to have someone there.

But ultimately it's your choice isn't it

WorraLiberty · 24/06/2013 13:57

If you don't care then you don't care

Personally I don't think it's all about you, but if your kids don't care either then there's no problem.

Original poster

KatyTheCleaningLady · 24/06/2013 14:03

Obviously, it's not all about me. I do boring or unpleasant things all the time because it's for my kids' benefit. I guess if I thought my son would really feel terrible about me not going, I would go.

Are there parents who actually like it?

OP posts:

TippiShagpile · 24/06/2013 14:06

I like sports day.

It's fun.

The children love it and I love watching them.

I like catching up with other parents who I don't often see.

PostBellumBugsy · 24/06/2013 14:08

Pretend you work full time & it is nearly impossible for you to make any of them (as well as Christmas play, special assemblies, end of term presentation, open day etc etc and everything else when you only 25 days holiday!)

Swanhilda · 24/06/2013 14:11

Go, your child will be thrilled to see you. Bring a treat for yourself though - change the angle?.
There are always some interesting parents to talk to, and you will feel guilty for rest of the week if you don't go. So there!!!!!

Original poster

KatyTheCleaningLady · 24/06/2013 14:23

I do work full time! Although not today. I cleaned six days last week, including Saturday, so that's part of why I'm so tired.

Normally, I wouldn't be free on a weekday.

When my husband is back with us, he can take off work for things because he's salaried.

OP posts:

PostBellumBugsy · 24/06/2013 14:26

If I had the day off, I'd have to go - no matter how shit it is likely to be.

I'd feel so guilty for not going if I was actually not working. But that is just me, we all have to make our own choices.

persimmon · 24/06/2013 14:28

Could you just go for a while - watch your kids run a race each?

Original poster

KatyTheCleaningLady · 24/06/2013 14:31

I can go to pick them up early, thereby catching the end of things. I've been lying in bed and I'm feeling a bit rested.

OP posts:

tupuedes · 24/06/2013 14:36

You may not appreciate sports day but that's no excuse to ruin it for others by blowing off.

Original poster

KatyTheCleaningLady · 24/06/2013 14:36

I'm just curious: if many/most think it's a terrible bore and a pain in the arse, why do they feel guilty about missing it? Is it just worry that their kids will feel like unloved orphans, or is it the idea that the events are actually important?
I can understand not wanting kids to be sad - it's the only reason I go to most of these things - but I just don't see the point of watching egg and spoon races.

If my kids were doing something they cared about, like if they played a sport, I would be happy to go watch. But I really don't see the point of this.

OP posts:

allmycats · 24/06/2013 14:36

Go and what a lovely surprise for your child !!

Original poster

KatyTheCleaningLady · 24/06/2013 14:38

Tupedes, who am I ruining it for? My kids won't care. Do you mean the other kids? That hadn't even occurred to me.

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