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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a little annoyed with my husband?

29 replies

Tee2072 · 22/06/2013 15:58

We are heading out on holiday in a few weeks and stopping to visit his sister and her family on our way through London to the US.

He was just speaking to her on the phone and said 'Well, he (meaning our son, who is 4, same age as her son) mostly eats sweets for breakfast'.

WHAT?!?! No he doesn't! He mostly eats toast, maybe some ham, a bit of cheese, some fruit and then he's allowed to have a small sweet.

Yes, yes, not the best idea, but he's got SN and sometimes the promise of that sweet is the only thing that gets something more solid in his tummy.

FFS

I wonder what else he told her before I came into the room...

OP posts:
faeriefruitcake · 22/06/2013 16:00

It's a man thing and since you didn't hear the rest of the convo you may have missed the bit where he told her all of the above

Original poster
Tee2072 · 22/06/2013 16:02

I hate that 'it's a man thing'. Lying is a man thing?

OP posts:
faeriefruitcake · 22/06/2013 16:09

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

TigOldBitties · 22/06/2013 16:12

Why does it matter? It's a harmless comment.

Chottie · 22/06/2013 16:14

Tee2072 - I hear you and it would matter to me too. :)

TantrumsAndBalloons · 22/06/2013 16:15

Well, it matters I suppose because it isn't true.

Because tee is making sure her DS gets some decent food by giving a reward of a small sweet, otherwise I guess he would eat.

Not that tee can't be bothered to make sure her DS eats breakfast or that her DS can eat whatever he wants whenever he likes.

It would piss me off if my DH said something like that.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 22/06/2013 16:15

*i guess he wouldnt eat, sorry

Original poster
Tee2072 · 22/06/2013 16:19

Thank you Chottie and Tantrums.

My SIL and I have very different parenting styles and while my attitude is 'whatever works for her' her attitude is usually 'I'm right, you're wrong.'

So, really, it was just ammo for that.

And how sad for you faerie.

OP posts:
DoJo · 22/06/2013 16:47

*Because tee is making sure her DS gets some decent food by giving a reward of a small sweet, otherwise I guess he would eat.

Not that tee can't be bothered to make sure her DS eats breakfast or that her DS can eat whatever he wants whenever he likes. *

Why are you assuming that it is Tee's parenting that this reflects poorly upon? Or that she is solely responsible for ensuring that their son eats? It sounds like something I would say as a joke about how difficult it is to get my son to eat sometimes, but certainly not something worth getting annoyed about. Tee - if you feel as though your sister is judging you then that's the problem, not an off the cuff comment from your husband.

NatashaBee · 22/06/2013 17:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Tee2072 · 22/06/2013 17:06

It's not my sister, it's my husband's. my sister couldn't care less what my son eats.

And I never said it was completely up to me. I do not parent alone. But he doesn't feed our son sweets either. I asked him and he has no idea why he said it that way.

OP posts:
TigOldBitties · 22/06/2013 17:16

I just couldn't care what my SIL thinks abut my parenting, and presumably she will see its not true and you'll have the opportunity to correct her when you're there.

Original poster
Tee2072 · 22/06/2013 17:34

This isn't really about what my SIL thinks of my parenting, though.

It's about my husband telling lies about our parenting.

I'd be just as upset if he'd said it to anyone else, because it isn't true!

OP posts:
Fookinell · 22/06/2013 17:49

Tee did you ask your husband what he meant?

teenagetantrums · 22/06/2013 17:54

Well on the bright side she may lay on sweets for breakfast, but seriously she's a mum she must know you well enough to know you wouldn't be giving him sweets for breakfast?

Justfornowitwilldo · 22/06/2013 17:54

Weird. Almost as weird as the random trolling from faerie

Original poster
Tee2072 · 22/06/2013 18:19

Is she a troll or just a sad person? I don't know.

Fook he said he didn't know why he said it. I think sometimes he talks to her and she intimidates the hell out of him and so he just runs his mouth.

I certainly hope so teenage but she can also be very blinkered.

As I said, it's not really about what she thinks of me. I know what she thinks of me. It's that my husband usually has my back and didn't this time!

OP posts:
Dackyduddles · 22/06/2013 18:24

I totes see why your upset. Makes you sound a bit numpty-ish doesn't it? Daft fool. And your child potentially worse than reality. Now any brekkie eaten at hers will be via their influence, not that he usually does as its not what she's now expecting.

Ugh. I'm sorry. Hugs for you. He needs to set this straight.

Catmint · 22/06/2013 18:30

On occasion, I have found myself randomly criticising my parenting of dd, or even dd herself, which I hate myself for.

As soon as it is out of my mouth I regret it and I have no idea why I do it.

Could your DH have had one of these moments?

TheSecondComing · 22/06/2013 18:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

joanofarchitrave · 22/06/2013 18:34

Was he joking? I quite often say stuff like 'well what with ds looking at screens every hour of the day' or 'he eats pasta. or pasta'. I don't actually mean that he has pasta for every single meal, it's just exaggeration. for comic effect. If your SIL takes it seriously, just laugh and say 'yes and on saturdays he has maple syrup on his sweets, but only once a week'.

redskyatnight · 22/06/2013 18:39

I don't think you can make judgements on a fragment of overheard conversation.

For all you know SIL might have made a crack about her own DS only eating chocolate and DH responded in kind.

I quite often will jokingly say to friends when they ask what the DC will eat, something along the lines of "cake most of the time". Strictly this is a lie, but both parties understand that I am joking ...

BoysAreLikeDogs · 23/06/2013 07:18

I would get the rage Tee, if my DH did that.

No it's not a Man Thing whatever that might be, it's a stupid git thing. I do get that his sister presses some buttons, from childhood mebbe and that he babbles on as a result.

Yes, agree Dacky, any eating at their house from now on will be as a result of their marvellous influence

ParadiseChick · 23/06/2013 07:27

Jeezo

What a non issue.

AThingInYourLife · 23/06/2013 07:34

I wouldn't see this as a lie.

I would see it as a joke.

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