AIBU?
to have found myself saying "will you please stop touching my shopping?"
ICBINEG · 22/06/2013 13:39
Okay so ordinarily I would imagine anyone saying that to be a card carrying nutto control freak....but...
I have tried...I really have...to make peace with the "can I help you with your packing" charity collecting gang that seem to be perpetually staking out the end of the tills in my local super market. I have tried to not feel imposed upon that I have to defend my right to pack my own bloody shopping while being made to feel guilty about it....
I have a system when packing...designed to get through the hairy bit before my toddler time bomb detonates as rapidly as possible. It is fast, it is efficient and it is my fucking shopping anyway (I digress).
So I have learnt to say, oh so very politely, that "no, I would not like any help with my packing". Which is exactly what I said today.
Normally this results in the charity packer moving out of the way, or even going to a different till end to help out there for a while...but not today.
Today's charity packing woman is determined to "own the space" at the end of the conveyor so that I cannot actually park my trolley there while..you know...packing my stuff into it.
So I take the first two items and slot them into their assigned bags. When I look up she holding my quiche (well this is an MN story after all). She is looking at the bags like "which one does this go in", I look at her like "you don't know because it's MY fucking system" and hold out my hand for the quiche and file it correctly. The 4th and 5th items go in fine...but then one of my bags falls over and the extra second it takes me to right it, affords my nemesis the chance to snatch my eggs. I feel I cannot let this go without comment...so I not only hold my hand out to receive the eggs but remind the woman that " no, really I prefer to do this myself".
Things progress apace, without intervention, and I begin to relax, feeling the battle has been won. I then do what I always do, which is leave the soft squishy bread out on the end of the conveyor while I pack the heavier items first. This is a fatal mistake as it leads the charity packer to believe that some sort of cataclysmic packing failure has occurred that, presumably, can only be corrected with her assistance. She seizes this golden opportunity with both hands and proudly dumps my bread into the fridge back (on top of the milk and next to the raw meat etc.) and beams wildly in triumph.
Which is when I say the thing that no sane person in the history of the world has ever said.
""will you please stop touching my shopping?"
Is this it? Have I left sanity behind? AIBU?
Montybojangles · 22/06/2013 13:47
Fuck me, you were far more restrained than I would have been! I could feel myself getting worked up just reading that. I would probably have helped her to wear the bloody quiche if she had touched my shopping, there's no way she would have thought about touching a second item. Even the OH knows better than to try to "help" me pack my shopping!
DoJo · 22/06/2013 13:49
That's why I love the self scan shopping at my local Tesco - I can pack as I go, and you don't have that horrid bit where you can't really pay attention to the barely contained beast small person in the trolley. We have a bag packer at my local small supermarket who always quizzes me on what I'm going to make and how to prepare the food I'm buying which I find strangely endearing, but only because I'm never buying more than a basket full of stuff.
Sleepyfergus · 22/06/2013 13:54
YANBU. We frequently have clubs/ youth groups offering to pack (raising money for some trip or something) and the kids clearly couldn't give a toss how to pack and makes the thing a whole lot more stressful than it needs to be. I'm happy to chuck a couple of quid in their bucket to stay the fuck away from my shopping!
ICBINEG · 22/06/2013 14:01
oh yes....I would pay them to stay away...but I don't think that will work. In fact I think giving them anything at all will make them more likely to come back.
Although there is ALWAYS someone doing this at my local. I don't think the density of charity packers can possibly increase...so maybe it is safe to chuck them some change after all.
And yes I am feeling much better now...nothing like a good ol' MN rant to calm the nerves.
BalloonSlayer · 22/06/2013 14:06
I always say no too, I don't want some gormless adolescent putting the potatoes on top of the eggs.
However I always use the excuse that my DS1 has bad food allergies and I am very fussy about where I put stuff in my bags. Which is true
If I had explained that and someone didn't listen and chucked a pint of milk or tub of dairy ice cream in a bag with DS1 stuff in it, I would (if in a bad mood) insist the shop replaced it all. Ha! 
Dawnywoo · 22/06/2013 14:10
YANBU
This is why I now have shopping delivered. (Waitrose have different bags with FRIDGE and FREEZER written on them. Its great)
The second most annoying supermarket issue is the irritating energy sellers.
You shall have to come up with a line to use on them next!
ICBINEG · 22/06/2013 14:12
The answers to two posts over lap. Having asked that she please stop touching my shopping, she did indeed back away from the end of the till.
And yes, if it had crossed my mind that it was actually necessary, I would indeed have asked her to move at the start instead of the end of this saga....
But really worra , what would you do all day if people like me weren't writing books for you to comment on?
SupermansBigRedPants · 22/06/2013 14:15
I got so stressed reading that 
my ds is really hard work, the packing of my shopping is my military precision type job - i had a grown up boy scout last month try to pack i 'taught' him how to pack my shopping (not hard, cupboard food, fridge, freezer, toddler snacks, fruit etc)... he avoided me the next time
Haven't a clue why 
he did offer to help!
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