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to have found myself saying "will you please stop touching my shopping?"

115 replies

ICBINEG · 22/06/2013 13:39

Okay so ordinarily I would imagine anyone saying that to be a card carrying nutto control freak....but...

I have tried...I really have...to make peace with the "can I help you with your packing" charity collecting gang that seem to be perpetually staking out the end of the tills in my local super market. I have tried to not feel imposed upon that I have to defend my right to pack my own bloody shopping while being made to feel guilty about it....

I have a system when packing...designed to get through the hairy bit before my toddler time bomb detonates as rapidly as possible. It is fast, it is efficient and it is my fucking shopping anyway (I digress).

So I have learnt to say, oh so very politely, that "no, I would not like any help with my packing". Which is exactly what I said today.

Normally this results in the charity packer moving out of the way, or even going to a different till end to help out there for a while...but not today.

Today's charity packing woman is determined to "own the space" at the end of the conveyor so that I cannot actually park my trolley there while..you know...packing my stuff into it.

So I take the first two items and slot them into their assigned bags. When I look up she holding my quiche (well this is an MN story after all). She is looking at the bags like "which one does this go in", I look at her like "you don't know because it's MY fucking system" and hold out my hand for the quiche and file it correctly. The 4th and 5th items go in fine...but then one of my bags falls over and the extra second it takes me to right it, affords my nemesis the chance to snatch my eggs. I feel I cannot let this go without comment...so I not only hold my hand out to receive the eggs but remind the woman that " no, really I prefer to do this myself".

Things progress apace, without intervention, and I begin to relax, feeling the battle has been won. I then do what I always do, which is leave the soft squishy bread out on the end of the conveyor while I pack the heavier items first. This is a fatal mistake as it leads the charity packer to believe that some sort of cataclysmic packing failure has occurred that, presumably, can only be corrected with her assistance. She seizes this golden opportunity with both hands and proudly dumps my bread into the fridge back (on top of the milk and next to the raw meat etc.) and beams wildly in triumph.

Which is when I say the thing that no sane person in the history of the world has ever said.

""will you please stop touching my shopping?"

Is this it? Have I left sanity behind? AIBU?

OP posts:
FrustratedSycamoresRocks · 22/06/2013 17:51

I'm controlling over packing my shopping too.
The trouble is the system only makes sence to me, on top of the bread/meat/non-edible seperation i also pack due to final location. Blush

If dcs aren't with me, I may let them help in a controlled way. passing the bags Grin

If dcs are with me, and are relatively calm, it's much better to employ their services in amusing the dc rather than explain I can't let them touch my shopping,

Christmasberry · 22/06/2013 17:55

Beautifully written :)

MalenkyRusskyDrakonchik · 22/06/2013 17:56

'Don't Fuck With The Asparagus' will be my new motto, thanks just. Grin

FannyFifer · 22/06/2013 18:04

I usually tell them here's a quid to not help me.
I am OCD re my shopping, hate when people help.

valiumredhead · 22/06/2013 18:07

I feel I have entered a different world!

Hashtagwhatever · 22/06/2013 18:28

I would have kicked her in the cunt.

valiumredhead · 22/06/2013 18:29

I have never even seen a charity packer!

Wolfcub · 22/06/2013 18:35

revoltingpeasent my thoughts exactly. they are trouble at either end, well meaning trouble but trouble nonetheless

marchduck · 22/06/2013 18:40

Yesterday, I was in Tesco and there was an employee packing bags in addition to the cashier ringing the shopping through. The girl that was packing the bags was wearing a Tesco employee badge, so she wasn't a volunteer bag packer for charity.She did appear to have some communication difficulties. I think that it is fantastic that she was doing such a good job and she packed my shopping just fine.
I am fussy when I pack my own bags, but I still think it's nice for people to give up their time to collect for their charity by packing bags, so I don't mind a bit of product mixing and so far I've survivedGrin

Kaida · 22/06/2013 19:10

YANBU. Nobody touches my shopping except my DH and he's been through a rigorous training process. I don't even normally give money - on a budget and I resent being guilt-tripped every single sodding week. The ones who ask politely get a smile and polite no thanks, but I have been known to get a bit sharp with those who just assume and start touching my stuff.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/06/2013 19:51

Well, I thought what Worra later said when I read the OP. Still found it amusing, the bag-packers ARE annoying.

However, I have to eat my words... at Tesco the other day there was some kind of dance troupe scouting for money and I'd vowed to not give them a penny, reserving strictly for charity. Got to the checkout and there was a lovely older man waiting for the shopping, with the bluest, twinkliest eyes... . I caved and said, "If you follow my instructions I'd be delighted to have your help"... and he did so I tipped him a fiver. He was lovvvvely. Grin

Oh and on the 'unnecessary' levying at Worra... I'd say that all of the posts on AIBU are... ahem, not of the I-saved-the-world-today variety... just saying. Some posters are a bit tetchy today... Shock

StealthPolarBear · 22/06/2013 19:53

A fiver
I put 50p in and feel mean tbh

ICBINEG · 22/06/2013 19:59

Ohhh - this has clearly touched some sort of nerve!

So I would like to say two things:

  1. getting them to put stuff on the conveyor is possibly a goer! I am usually in shovel and dump mode at that point so they would almost certainly do a better job than me..

2. I would not, in fact, usually have one bag with both meat and milk in it...usually the meat would be in a separate standard polythene bag and then inside the fridge designated large bag if there was space. On this occasion the spare bag had been subpoena-ed and was due in court to explain itself regarding a surprising amount of sand found mysteriously within its recesses just prior to the events outlined below. With hindsight it would undoubtedly have been a better idea to ask my DH about the silicon invasion, but then again, listening to his answers would only have made me tired....
OP posts:
Catsize · 22/06/2013 20:00

I am not that keen on it, mainly because I stand there feeling uncomfortable whilst someone else does my packing. However, quite happy to sort stuff on the kitchen table when I get home after they sabotage 'my' system. It bugs me they only put about two items in each bag. But hey, it's charideee...

ICBINEG · 22/06/2013 20:00

a fiver? wtaf?

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/06/2013 20:04

Stealth... He really WAS lovely. Must have been at least 65. Never done it before, never will again, I was so flustered and blushing... Blush

JemimaMuddledUp · 22/06/2013 20:04


I never let them pack my bags, although I usually chuck some money in their pot if I have change on me.

I bag pack with the DC for the PTA. If someone says they don't want help we stand back out of the way until they have finished.

candyandyoga · 22/06/2013 20:05

Yanbu! What did she say to your last comment?!

ICBINEG · 22/06/2013 20:09

candy she backed away doing that kind of muted jazz hands things that I believe was meant to convey both that she had nothing of mine either in her hands or up her sleeves and that she was utterly unthreatening and would quite like it if the crazy woman would calm down and not swing for her.

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 22/06/2013 20:11

YANBU at all.

I pay the charity worker to go the fuck away. Win win.

It doesn't always work, which makes me suspect that 'charity' is not always their sole motivation.

You're opening post has made me smile a lot ICBINEG and I personally think you are incredibly reasonable. It's a mad world after all.

To those who shop online and can't understand why we'd put ourselves through it, my reason is that it's MY TIME... guilt free (doing something that requires doing) and I like to browse, and feel (gently), sometimes sniff, and exercise as much choice as a shopper can have.

aldiwhore · 22/06/2013 20:11

I always ask for the conveyor belt to be turned off... it's makes me feel sick.

snooter · 22/06/2013 20:19

I eventually snapped at a supermarket checkout woman after she had thrown a bag of lovingly hand-chosen mushrooms down the conveyor belt, to follow the other fruit & veg she'd already chucked at top speed. I think she was racing me - mind you I'd probably have to come up with games like that in a mind-numbingly boring job, but I'd draw the line at flinging things. Sad as it may seem, I had indeed individually selected each item of loose produce myself & didn't want it mauling. She looked at me like I was growing a second head. I shop for most F & V at the greengrocer's now.

blueemerald · 22/06/2013 20:21

What annoys me/my mum about the charity packers at the supermarkets near us is that the buckets are never closed or sealed. There is nothing to stop anyone helping themselves to a handful. Cynical maybe but there's no reason why they can't have the same buckets that fund raisers on the street have.

Sokmonsta · 22/06/2013 20:36

Yanbu. Unfortunately my preschool fundraisers like the 'bag pack' as they reckon its a good fundraiser. I've told them pointedly I detest them, for the aforementioned having my own system and will not participate in the organisation or event itself. Even if I am treasurer. Instead I made suggestions for alternative fundraisers.

plieadianpony · 22/06/2013 21:09

I love this post. I don't think i need anymore entertainment tonight ha ha

'will you please stop touching my shopping!'


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