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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to complain about dd knocking teeth loose at nursery?

28 replies

rubadubduba · 20/06/2013 20:51

When I picked up my 3 year old dd from nursery yesterday, one of the teachers came and told me she had fallen in the gym hall and hurt her mouth, one of her teeth was a bit loose, they had a cold compress on it etc etc.

Dd came out with another teacher, blood over her face and crying, the first thing she said was 'she was going in the wrong place' over and over. By this she means another child was in the wrong place and dd fell over her. The accident form said fell over another child whilst running.

At home, when we'd both calmed down, dd explained to me what happened. There are three areas in the hall, one for running in, one for cars and bikes and one for other games, hopscotch, beanbags etc. Dd and two boys were playing tag, a girl with a car went into the running area and dd couldn't stop running and fell over the girl at speed. Dd landed face first on a wooden floor, the other girl was fine.

We went to the dentist yesterday, have to go back in two weeks as the dentist thinks one tooth is not going to reattach itself, and the next two teeth have been pushed along. Every time I look at dd I want to cry, her face is in such a state.

I'm sorry for the long post but what I'm wanting opinions on is whether to complain to the nursery about the accident. I feel it could have been avoided if the children were in the proper sections. In other words I'm unhappy about the supervision. Not sure if it matters but the girl dd fell over has a reputation for not obeying the rules. And I wasn't told exactly what had happened, if dd had just fallen while running I wouldn't be annoyed. Dd has very strong views on right and wrong and is adamant she wouldn't have fell if she wasn't there.

OP posts:

RedHelenB · 20/06/2013 20:55

Thing is accidents happen & this was. Even f supervision was 1 - 1 then it still could have happened with the car & your daughter moving quickly. Luckily they are baby teeth & hopefully won't affect the adult ones. Poor dd, I bet it hurts!

PurpleSwift · 20/06/2013 20:57

I don't really see where complaining will get you. Maybe they could section off the areas better, or alter supervision policies, but children are children. They play, they run around, they fall over, these things happen. It could have happened anywhere.

Hope your DD is okay.

WilsonFrickett · 20/06/2013 20:59

I'm sorry your DD is hurt, but I think you would BU to complain. 3 yo's move around and accidents happen.

pigletmania · 20/06/2013 21:02

Yabvu accidents happen, could easily happen at home. Leave it!

pigletmania · 20/06/2013 21:03

Where young children are concerned not everyone will be following the rules.

CaterpillarCara · 20/06/2013 21:04

My child knocked out a tooth falling over his own feet - he was holding my hand too! It is awful, I was very upset, but it happens.

KansasCityOctopus · 20/06/2013 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoveBeingUpAt4InTheMorning · 20/06/2013 21:07

I would feel totally the same as you

Alisvolatpropiis · 20/06/2013 21:08

Yabu - accidents happen.

Hope your little girl is ok now

Sirzy · 20/06/2013 21:10

It was an accident. Accidents can happen anywhere.

It is physically impossible for every child to be watched every second they are in nursery.

usualsuspect · 20/06/2013 21:12

I hope your DD is ok, Its horrible when they hurt themselves.

But it was just an accident, I wouldn't take it any further.

willowisp · 20/06/2013 21:13

Hmmm...well I'm very sorry for you £ DD & think that you need to support her & put in a written complaint.

I have to say I would be furious if that happened to my dd.

I'd the other kids where supposed to be in certain places, I have to say, the nursery are responsible.

scaevola · 20/06/2013 21:15

I ended up with a trip to the emergency dentist after an accident at nursery (just a trip, but landed on a toy). Fortunately, the loose tooth did go back straight.

These things happen. Even in really well run nurseries.

The key is whether you trust the staff to be running things properly. If trust has gone then perhaps it's time to look for a different setting.

Fairyegg · 20/06/2013 21:17

There all 3, with the best staffing ratios in The world this could have still Happened. I understand your upset but yabu.

RikeBider · 20/06/2013 21:18

Not sure what you want to complain about?

You were told your DD fell while running - she did. They didn't give any detail about another child being involved because they don't want you to blame the other child/approach her parents.

Accidents happen, there are at least 8 children to each adult so practically they can't shadow every child at every moment. 3 year olds don't always follow the rules and won't always be stopped immediately - it would have only taken moments.

kungfupannda · 20/06/2013 21:19

If you are absolutely certain that your child will never have an accident while under your care, then complain about the less rigorous care being offered by the nursery.

If you think that it is possible that your child might, some day, be injured while under your supervision, then probably let it go and accept that children have accidents and not all are avoidable.

Original poster

rubadubduba · 20/06/2013 21:20

Thanks for giving me your views. I suppose complaining isn't the right word I should use but I think I'll mention maybe the sections should be better divided in future. I'm glad the class photo was taken on Monday

OP posts:

RikeBider · 20/06/2013 21:22

I'm sure the nursery will risk assess and look at whether it is necessary/desirable to have dividers.

Hulababy · 20/06/2013 21:24

What do you hope to achieve with the complaint?
If you do wish to do so, you need to be clear about what you hope to achieve.

The nursery told you what happened. They didn't tell you the child's name - but that is the right thing to happen. They shouldn't disclose.

They also treated your DD after the fall.

As your DD was still upset and still covered in blood I assume it had only just occurred?

The nursery teachers, unless they had full on 1:1 staffing ratios, cannot prevent every accident or incident from occurring. It isn't like being with your own child at home or out and about, where you only have the one to think about it.

Sadly, whilst a horrible accident for your DD and a shock for you, I guess it is just one of those things. I hope she recovers well.

OwlinaTree · 20/06/2013 21:24

It might be worth a follow up. After an accident which was serious enough to need medical attention, the setting should be risk assessing the area to try to see if changes could be made. Most of the time they can't, for eg scaevola you can't make changes as children need to play with toys on the floor in a nursery, Kansas children need to be able to run around outside. If this need is more beneficial than the risk, it is reasonable, that is ok. You could pop into the nursery and ask if they have considered the safety of having the 3 different activities going on at once?

sarahtigh · 20/06/2013 21:29

I am a dentist, sorry this has happened to your DD but unfortunately accidents happen 1 in 8 toddlers falls and damages to a certain extent their teeth there is no difference between boys and girls
however in older children the stats are different between boys and girls

1 in 8 boys damage ( anything from chip to knocking teeth out though obviously way more chips) their adult teeth but only 1 in 12 girls this number would be reduced if wearing sports mouth guards for contact sports was compulsory

I can understand you being upset and unhappy I would be too
I have a 3 year old DD and she was accidentally pushed by a running boy at nursery who could not stop in time and banged her head on playground she is OK now but it was an accident you just can't stop small children running about and no child keeps to that type of rule all the time they just get excited at that age, I do not think you can really complain as it could easily have been the other way round

KansasCityOctopus · 20/06/2013 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsMarbles · 20/06/2013 21:32

I'm guessing the area for running around in is to allow the children to run without the risk of tripping over a car or a child playing on the floor. The area should be kept clear. It wasn't. I'd have a chat with the teacher, probably not an official complaint. Hope your dd is ok.

DragonMamma · 20/06/2013 21:34

YABU to complain. My DD fell at s disco under my dm's supervision 2 years ago, both teeth top front teeth are discoloured but complaining to her wouldn't change that as she simply ran into another child and banged them both. Thankfully they are coming loss as part of the natural process.

My Ds chipped the same front tooth twice in.the course of learning to walk under mine and dh's supervision. It can't be helped. The teeth will fall out eventually so hardly the end.of the world.

littlewhitebag · 20/06/2013 21:42

My DD tripped and fell during tidy up time at her nursery. She was carrying things and didn't see the library box sitting in the middle of the floor. She knocked out one tooth and burst her lip. The nursery staff took her to A&E and she had to have stitches in her lip. At age 15 her lip still has a slight scar. Did i make a complaint? Absolutely not! Accidents happen and they were fantastic in dealing with it. You cannot wrap children in cotton wool.

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