To expect other drivers to be considerate enough to leave me room to get my baby in the car when they park?

[VRBennett83]

So this morning I went to the baby group I attend every Thursday, had a lovely time, then did a spot of shopping at the local shops before returning to my parked car, only to find a man driving a white van had parked so close to my passenger side that I couldn't get my four month old baby in! I had to climb into the back seat from the other side, whilst lifting the car seat with my little heavy lump in it. I even left the car at a slight angle just in case someone did park next to me, so I would have enough room, but he parked so close I could hardly get it open!

The man returns to his white van whilst I am putting my shopping away. I then start putting my pram down, and he starts inching his bonnet closer and closer to my bum, as he clearly thinks I am inconveniencing HIM and getting in HIS way! I make a point standing up and asking him if I am indeed in his way. He winds down the passenger side window and asks me if I have a problem. I point out that yes, I do. I told him he parked so close to my car that I had to struggle with my baby in through the wrong side of the car. Then what? Ah, yes, he gives ME the abuse! First he tells me I parked there after him. Erm, no mate. I parked up about two hours ago and parked in this space which was clear either side. He goes ranting on at me, I simply repeat that he had parked so chuffin close to my car I had to struggle with my baby and he tells me "Well I am in a van, you t**t". No, seriously. He appeared to believe that his having a wider vehicle meant that he had to give no consideration to how much room he leaves either side for others. He then told me that I shouldn't take it out on him if I had had a bad day. I promptly point out that I had had a lovely day until he came into my life.

I am so proud of myself for not swearing at him mind you.

Is it me or should people give me the same courtesy I give them? I never park in a space if I think it is too close to another car. What if that person was disabled and needed help getting into their car? Or what if, heaven forbid, that person had a baby and needed room to get that baby in the car? The amount of room he left me I wouldn't have got my dog in there! Is it also me being unreasonable to expect strangers to be polite to each other, apologise if they cause offence in some way and treat others as they wish to be treated?

Rant over :)

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

But golden it was the OP who parked at an angle.

So in that situation, what should he have done?

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

And clearly the Op was aware of how her parking impacted on the space next to her. That was why she did it. So she could get her baby out easily.

Never mind anyone else then eh?

[Technotropic]

What sort of van was this? A Ford Transit will fill a space with less than a foot to spare either side. If the next car up has parked off centre then you often have very little choice but to park tight up to another vehicle. At least it was your passenger side OP and not the driver side as that is a real pain (been there before and ended up with a gearstick up my backside climbing over lol).

Personally I try not to get upset over such trivial matters. It really isn't worth it.

Off topic but isn't the theory still to put baby seats in the rear? Wouldn't have a problem then.

[josephinebruce]

Am new, so forgive me if speaking out of turn. I have a wide car with massive doors that unless there's significant space each side I can't open them wide enough to get out - so I tend to park (within the lines!) so that I have space on the driver's side. I don't notice what's in the cars next to me and wouldn't even think of checking for baby seats etc.

The man in the van sounds rude - but he could just have been frustrated - people do get frustrated by bad parking. However, he could have parked somewhere else, unless there were no other spaces, of course.

The main issue, as far as I'm concerned, is that shops and car parks have spaces that are too small and not fit for purpose.

[Technotropic]

josephinebruce

Agree. Costco is the only place I know that provide excellent spaces with ample room for all vehicle types.

[pianodoodle]

I've only just noticed this thread. Car parks wars!

I feel in this case the van was on the line but not over it so that probably justifies a bit of passive-aggressive bum blocking but not a verbal confrontation.

[SoupDragon]

only if you prescribe to the idea of parking incompetently to begin with?

You mean like the OP did?

Parking within the white lines of a parking bay, straight and with more space on the driver's side is not parking incompetently.

[SpecialAgentTattooedQueen]

Eh. It's all just just about trying to one up each other in car park wars IMO.

I have DTs. Yes, it's bloody hard to get them in the car.

You didn't park well, it's difficult with a young babe, he parked appropriately and you were both rude.

YABU to expect people to look for baby seats when they are parking. That's ridiculous. YWBU to park on an angle then complain about someone else's parking.

YANBU to find it frustrating. It is! I've wanted to scream on more than one occasion. But it's no one's fault and this was all unnecessary.

He WBU to call you a twat, but he had a point about not taking how frustrating driving with babies is on him.

Accept that this is just an annoying part of life, there are much better things to get upset over.

[redskyatnight]

Surely nobody looks for cars seats in neighbouring cars when they are parking? If it?s just a seat base/booster it?s really hard to see anyway. And how many people look in neighbouring cars after they?ve stopped and subsequently move their cars to accommodate?

Even if you did see a car seat that?s just evidence that the car is sometimes used to carry a child, not that the child is physically with the driver at the moment.
My work car park is full of cars with car seats in. I doubt that any of these people have brought their children to work.

I think the van driver was rude. But so was OP.

[Goldenbear]

I disagree SoupDragon, the lack of precision demonstrates a certain level of incompetent, lazy driving.

[Goldenbear]

Resorting to aggressive name calling trumps the forthright approach of the OP in this scenario- it is completely out of order.

[JollyShortGiant]

I bought a car with sliding doors partly in order to avoid this issue. Once DC2 arrives I'll be able to get baby and toddler in their respective sides of the car with little hassle.

It is a very wide car and if I'm parking in a tight space I will try to make sure that I leave space at the driver's side of other people's cars.

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

The forthright approach?

What do you mean golden it's ok to park like a selfish twat as long as you have a baby but no one is allowed to call you on it?

Funny logic there, for someone so concerned about people being considerate and aware.

[IShallCallYouSquishy]

My DD's car seat is behind passenger side. At home I park my car with passenger side merely inches from a wall. Every time we go in the car I put her in from the wrong side. Done this since her first trip out at about 10 days old.

I don't see the problem personally. However he didn't need to give you abuse but at the same time there wasn't any need to get arsey with him either.

[Sirzy]

I disagree SoupDragon, the lack of precision demonstrates a certain level of incompetent, lazy driving.

Does that apply to the person who parked at an angle in the parking space?

[JenaiMorris]

I tend to give vehicles with child car seats plenty of room, in an attempt to escape them damaging my paintwork when they swing their doors open.

I dunno if the OP is bu or not though. Parking at an angle gets on my nerves, but van driver doesn't sound terribly nice.

[LittleBearPad]

Golden you are taking this very personally. You aren't even the OP.

I am happy for you that you always park immaculately however in many car parks, with the best will in the world this isn't possible due to previous parkers, size of space and increasing size of cars. Why is this upsetting you so much?

[SoupDragon]

I disagree SoupDragon, the lack of precision demonstrates a certain level of incompetent, lazy driving.

So, Goldenbear, you think that the OP is a lazy incompetent driver?

[plainjaney]

redskyatnight I look for car seats when I'm parking DH's car, its in a lot better condition than my old heap and from experience of having the door dinked by someone swinging their door wide to put a baby in I try and avoid them.
If I'm in mine I'm not so bothered but given a choice of a couple of spaces I'll always choose the one thats not next to the car seat for those reasons.

[SoupDragon]

I'm intrigued, Goldenbear, do you use a ruler to ensure you are parked precisely in the middle of a bay? What sort of error margin do you find acceptable? If you have a wide vehicle where it would be impossible to park centrally and exit the vehicle, is it acceptable to park it off centre at all?

[Sirzy]

If I'm in mine I'm not so bothered but given a choice of a couple of spaces I'll always choose the one thats not next to the car seat for those reasons.

How can you tell from your car which cars have car seats in?

[plainjaney]

How can you tell from your car which cars have car seats in?

Well, its difficult......I look at the car....

Obviously if they have taken the seats out then I can't tell, but if I see a car with kids sun blinds or hanging toys etc I dont park next to it unless I dont have a choice.

[Goldenbear]

The OP did this because there are so many inconsiderate drivers out there. If I saw a baby car seat or baby paraphernalia or a sun screen in a regular car park not a work car park, I would not park incredibly close to the car but I'm obviously 'odd' in my consideration of others.

Having a baby doesn't make you special but along with other groups of people, I personally wouldn't have any qualms about having extra consideration for this group and this is what I will hopefully pass on to my children despite it being a dying quality.

[Sirzy]

The OP did this because there are so many inconsiderate drivers out there.

Perhaps the van driver did it because so many people are inconsiderate and he knows he needs more door room to get in his van.

It seems your quick to defend the OP but vilify the van driver when the OPs parking was worse.

[Goldenbear]

I'm a pretty good driver and don't find it hard to park big cars, small cars and vans SoupDragon

Littlebearpad, I just have an opposing view to yourself.