To expect other drivers to be considerate enough to leave me room to get my baby in the car when they park?

[VRBennett83]

So this morning I went to the baby group I attend every Thursday, had a lovely time, then did a spot of shopping at the local shops before returning to my parked car, only to find a man driving a white van had parked so close to my passenger side that I couldn't get my four month old baby in! I had to climb into the back seat from the other side, whilst lifting the car seat with my little heavy lump in it. I even left the car at a slight angle just in case someone did park next to me, so I would have enough room, but he parked so close I could hardly get it open!

The man returns to his white van whilst I am putting my shopping away. I then start putting my pram down, and he starts inching his bonnet closer and closer to my bum, as he clearly thinks I am inconveniencing HIM and getting in HIS way! I make a point standing up and asking him if I am indeed in his way. He winds down the passenger side window and asks me if I have a problem. I point out that yes, I do. I told him he parked so close to my car that I had to struggle with my baby in through the wrong side of the car. Then what? Ah, yes, he gives ME the abuse! First he tells me I parked there after him. Erm, no mate. I parked up about two hours ago and parked in this space which was clear either side. He goes ranting on at me, I simply repeat that he had parked so chuffin close to my car I had to struggle with my baby and he tells me "Well I am in a van, you t**t". No, seriously. He appeared to believe that his having a wider vehicle meant that he had to give no consideration to how much room he leaves either side for others. He then told me that I shouldn't take it out on him if I had had a bad day. I promptly point out that I had had a lovely day until he came into my life.

I am so proud of myself for not swearing at him mind you.

Is it me or should people give me the same courtesy I give them? I never park in a space if I think it is too close to another car. What if that person was disabled and needed help getting into their car? Or what if, heaven forbid, that person had a baby and needed room to get that baby in the car? The amount of room he left me I wouldn't have got my dog in there! Is it also me being unreasonable to expect strangers to be polite to each other, apologise if they cause offence in some way and treat others as they wish to be treated?

Rant over :)

[OrmirianResurgam]

A van is bigger than a car. It was unfortunate but I don't suppose he did it to piss you off.

[Goldenbear]

Wide vehicle, slim vehicle, tin can vehicle, whatever vehicle just park the vehicle accurately in the space that way you consider others as well.

No I don't park my car to favour my access as I realise that other people exist in this world and I have to live alongside them- it's the fundamentals of a civilised society!

[SoupDragon]

So passive aggressive is horrendous but outright aggression I.e name calling, is absolutely fine?

Where did you invent this from?

[LittleBearPad]

Goldenbear. I don't think anyone is saying the white van man behaved well. But neither did the OP. She made a mountain out of molehill by having a row about the fact she had to put a carseat in from the other side of the car. She could have huffed to herself about it but instead chose to have a row about it.

[SoupDragon]

Wide vehicle, slim vehicle, tin can vehicle, whatever vehicle just park the vehicle accurately in the space that way you consider others as well.

I guess that includes parking it straight and not, say, "at a slight angle"

[SoupDragon]

As an aside, DDs car seat base was always behind the driver's seat as that would be the side with most space to to open the door.

[LittleBearPad]

We just moved DD's seat to behind the driver seat. It's so much handier.

[Cravey]

Sigh. Here we go again. You had a baby. That's all. It's not special or different. Get over yourself.

[Goldenbear]

SoupDragon, you along with others have spectacularly downplayed verbal aggression as being 'rude', as if it it is comparable to the passive aggression the OP clearly exhibited?? In fact how was she passive aggressive, she clearly told him the problem?

The reality is a lot of Mumsnetters faced with being called a 'twat' over an argument about parking would be aghast, shocked and offended, some would probably be a bit scared. I am almost sure that a lot of mumsnetters would not have even made the direct remarks to the Van Man but of course on MN she is 'passive aggressive' and 'entitled'.

[SoupDragon]

Where?

[SoupDragon]

Please point out where I said one was worse than the other.

[SoupDragon]

She is "entitled" because she thinks everyone should give her special treatment because she has a baby [gasp]

[thebody]

Love this thread.

See I blame mother and toddler spaces as this has made anyone who has ever given birth fully expect the whole world to stop in awe and treat them as someone very very special.

Get over yourself op. you have one small baby. Your lucky you can afford a car! I took my 4 on the bus.

[OrmirianResurgam]

To be fair whitevanman probably wasn't aware the car contained a baby as they car seat had been taken out.

[Goldenbear]

Why would the Driver's side automatically have the most room- surely only if you prescribe to the idea of parking incompetently to begin with?

[xylem8]

I would give more room to a drivers side if the parking side was so narrow I had to make a choice.
You know there is a driver, there might not be a passenger and in any case the driver can pull out a few feet to let the passenger in.

[Goldenbear]

The reality is that it is harder to manoeuvre a baby in and out of car, why some people just won't consider that is strange and a completely selfish way to think.

What has it to do with the 'specialness' of babies or what happened years ago?

[LittleBearPad]

Because most cars don't have babies in them!!

[Cravey]

Just read this again. You parked the car at a slight angle did you ? Slight angle or totally on the piss ? I think you know you are being unreasonable. Come on its a baby and a buggy. It's not that bloody hard. Maybe you should have done what mostly everyone else does and park correctly.

[Sirzy]

If you are going into a tight space then of course you will leave slightly more room on the drivers side so you can actually get out the vehicle!

[Goldenbear]

I don't!

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

I see the OP is yet to clarify exactly what she means by parking at a slight angle?

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

golden I don't understand what you are getting at.

It may be slighty more work getting a baby out of a car.
But what do you want other drivers to do?
Not park next to a car that may have a baby in it at some point?

If you park your car at an angle, the person in the space next to you cannot park properly.
People park like this all the time...to stop people parking in the space next to them.

If there isn't a lot of space and there's a possibility that the driver of the car might have a baby, what do you want other drivers to do? Go home?

[Goldenbear]

Yes that's what I'd like them to do - 'go home'?? I think a good start would be parking accurately in a space. Being aware of how you impact on others is important in my mind. It is really a good thing that a lot of people don't have this individualistic outlook on life as society would not be able to function.

It is completely unacceptable to call someone a twat so casually.

[Sirzy]

It was the Op who hasn't parked properly!