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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU wedding threads

51 replies

LifeSavedbyLego · 19/06/2013 21:26

There seems to be a plethora of wedding threads at the moment and it making my teeth itch.

Why I hear you ask?

Well seen as you ask I shall tell you...

Because everyone I know is sodding married sometimes more than once or very single. I haven't been to a wedding for years and none on the horizon. So no gift list angst for me. No child ban issues to sort. NO BLOODY WEDDINGS. To make matters worse all the child free weddings we were invited to were when the dc were to little to leave. ARGH.

So no pretty frocks, no fizz on the terrace no naff disco. NOTHING.

I haven't been asked to be a godparent either, though to be fair I'm not eligible - but not frankly the point.

So instead of slipping on heels this weekend I'll be whacking on the hiking boots for yet another invigorating walk with two over excited children.

Waaaaaaah!

OP posts:
ArbitraryUsername · 19/06/2013 22:36

But this is why you need to embrace unreasonable bride season on AIBU every year.

Although there was a disappointing one today, where the bride and groom were gloriously unreasonable but the OP started out in entirely the wrong way and everyone just told her she was lying/unreasonable. It could all have been so different.

NorksAreMessy · 19/06/2013 22:37

I have only been to two weddings in the last three years. They were both lovely, lots of food, things to do, lovely to catch up with relatives and friends, children looking cute and behaving well. Brides not bridezilla-ish at all.

Neither marriage lasted even two years :(

ArbitraryUsername · 19/06/2013 22:39

All the weddings I've been to have been lovely too, and in no way resembled the image of weddings one would build up from reading AIBU. It's disappointing.

Must find less reasonable friends.

raisah · 19/06/2013 22:42

I go to an average of 3 a year, we are both from large families. Costs a fortune and the couples usually do something expectedly stupid that we can bitch about until the next wedding. Stupid romantic poems on the front of the invitations & pre wedding photos & the obligatory argument between both sets if families. Love it.

Original poster
LifeSavedbyLego · 19/06/2013 22:44

So you saying that I can only vicariously (possibly a real word, might even be the one I meant) enjoy weddings now?

This rate the next wedding I'll go to is the DC. And even that'll be as a mother of the groom.

OP posts:
ArtemisiaofCaria · 20/06/2013 00:10

I'm getting married in 9 days! All invited, bring a bottle.

Startail · 20/06/2013 00:20

I need a wedding too!

Both my cousins got married in the last two years, DD1 and I had to have different outfits as it was 50% the same guest list and they have loads of wear left in them.

Ok I'd have to get a dress for DD2 as dress A is too small and she can't wear a bridesmaids dress, but she still fits kids sizes so that's not too bad.

lisianthus · 20/06/2013 00:33

I've never been a bridesmaid!Sad

Dorris83 · 20/06/2013 06:49

lisianthus me neither! Sad
My closest friends have sisters who were shoo ins for the job... AndI'm an only child
(To be fair I didn't have any bridesmaids at my wedding so won't even get a 'feel obliged' reciprocal bridesmaid invite

OrangeFireandGoldashes · 20/06/2013 07:28

I think all wedding-related AIBU threads could be solved with a simple decision tree:

Are you the bride? Yes/no?

If yes, YANBU. Your wedding, your rules.

If no, are you a bridesmaid? Yes/no?

If yes, YANBU to not want to wear that colour / not pay to use the expensive make-up artist / be aggrieved your hen party arranging efforts have gone unappreciated. You are in the grip of Bridezilla. Poor you.

If no, are you a family member of the bride? Yes/no?

If yes, YANBU to think Aunt Ethel who everyone fell out with shouldn't get an invite / your PFB should have a significant role in the ceremony / the wedding shouldn't be arranged for a date that's special to you. You are in the grip of Bridezilla. Poor you.

If no, are you a guest? Yes/no?

If yes, YANBU to think you shouldn't have to pay £35,278 to wary in a hotel to watch someone you haven't seem since university get married / your 4-day old DC should be exempt from the no-child ban / to dislike the begging poem sent out in the invitation. You are in the grip of Bridezilla. Poor you.

If no, are you the prospective MIL? Yes/no?

If yes, you are YABU. Remember that for the rest of your life; it will save a lot of time.

OrangeFireandGoldashes · 20/06/2013 07:29

stay in a hotel

SybilRamkin · 20/06/2013 09:58

Dearest Mumsnetters,

You are invited to a Renewal of Vows at Westminster Abbey on 21st June 2013 at 11 am. (Normal entrance fee applies to all guests).

Following this there will be photographs in St James' Park for approximately four hours for the bridal party only.

There will be a sit-down meal at Claridges Hotel at 5 pm, cost will be £185 per person (bank details to follow). There is a very reasonably priced selection of wine and champagne for you to select from.

Of course, children will not be invited, with the exception of my own little darlings.

More than just kisses so far we've shared,
Our home has been made with love and care,
Most things we need we've already got,
And in out home we can't fit a lot!
A wishing well we thought would be great,
(But only if you wish to participate),
A gift of money is placed in the well,
Then make a wish but shhh don't tell!
Once we've replaced the old with the new,
We can look back and say it was thanks to you!
And in return for your kindness, we're sure,
That one day soon you will get what you wished for.
Please don't be offended at this type of request,
As our day is complete having you as our guest.

RSVP (although obvs you're all coming - who wouldn't?)

ChuffMuffin · 20/06/2013 10:15

LifeSavedbyLego I'm getting married in March, I can send you an invite if you like? The wedding is 8000 miles away, that'd give you something to start an AIBU about Grin

ArbitraryUsername · 20/06/2013 10:15

The extras should be forced to attend the photographs sybil. They need to be in one single shot, so it is imperative that they stand around waiting in the park for the full 4 hours with nothing to do and nothing to eat or drink. But, crucially, they can't go anywhere as they might miss their moment and 'ruin' the photographs for the bride and groom.

DeskPlanner · 20/06/2013 10:23

Anyone remember the thread a while ago, by an op who was complaining her dh's grandmother had given them an old book, instead of the requested cash ? She was so disgusted she had given it away to charity, because it didn't fit her minimalist interior. Think it was a troll in the end.

DeskPlanner · 20/06/2013 10:23

Anyone remember the thread a while ago, by an op who was complaining her dh's grandmother had given them an old book, instead of the requested cash ? She was so disgusted she had given it away to charity, because it didn't fit her minimalist interior. Think it was a troll in the end.

ephemeralfairy · 20/06/2013 10:31

I'm going to two weddings this summer, one is a massive traditional affair; the other is hog roast and camping accommodation. Compare and contrast!!

ChuffMuffin · 20/06/2013 10:34

DeskPlanner Yes! I remember reading that thread being absolutely disgusted. I flippin' well hope it was a troll. Just awful!

ihavenonameonhere · 20/06/2013 11:00

I have a wedding coming up, I like the couple and am glad they are going to have a great day but seems to be they are spending a lot of money when they dont even have any savings or a house, or afford nice holidays etc. They have spent every penny on this one day.

SybilRamkin · 20/06/2013 11:26

Yes, Arbitrary, I hadn't thought of that. Extras must attend!

Crinkle77 · 20/06/2013 11:45

I have no weddings to go to this year and am pleased. They are expensive and boring. I have been invited to one in Scotland next year and am dreading it what with all the hassle and expense of getting up there, finding somewhere to stay, buying an outfit, a pressie etc... Yes I am a miserable cow but that's how I feel.

Original poster
LifeSavedbyLego · 20/06/2013 12:27

Oh ladysybil. That sounds super where to I send the cheque or do you prefer western union?

I haven't been a bridesmaid either, but have been a best man Confused. So perhaps that counts.

OP posts:
SantanaLopez · 20/06/2013 12:38

I joined MN because of the wedding threads, I live for them.

My best one was when a 'friend' of ours wanted to do that thing where you think you're going to their birthday party and actually they're getting married. Except it was at 10.30 am on a random Wednesday in September when everyone was working. It was glorious. Sadly I wasn't on MN then :(

DioneTheDiabolist · 20/06/2013 13:21

How true Orange.Grin

arabesque · 20/06/2013 13:51

Sounds great Sybil. But I'm surprised you're not having a destination wedding so that the guests get to use up three days of their annual leave and spend the equivalent of a fortnight in Spain on a two night 'deal' in the wedding hotel, so that they can attend the post wedding barbecue.

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