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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask why you stopped talking to a friend.

232 replies

Chromolithograph · 18/06/2013 18:35

I stopped talking to a friend because my DS really did n't like playing with her DS, meetings with the kids were stressful. No major drama with the grown ups, just gradually decreased our contact. Friends for a season.

Why have your friendships fallen apart?

OP posts:
Pawprint · 22/03/2014 15:55

I met a woman at toddler group and we became friends. However, her behaviour became increasingly strange as time went on. She bitched constantly about all my other friends and was very passive aggressive. In the end, she dropped me and it was a great relief. We did try to patch it up at one point, but it didn't work.

She hasn't spoken to me since 5 September 2008. I have no idea how why I remember the date as I never remember dates. I also remember her telephone number, despite being barely able to remember my own...

If she walks past me in the street, she just blanks me. Very odd lady.

poopadoop · 22/03/2014 16:05

Because when i shared a house with her in uni she used sleep with her friends' bfs, or bend down with no knickers on in her nightie in front of visiting male friends including one I was trying to get together with, and then she'd say 'oh X (chap I fancied) were you looking at my BUM?!'.
And she used to steal things from other people's houses including an old lady she used to sit with.
And she bossed everyone around and was completely selfish, like turning off the central heating in every room except her own.
And she implied to my mum that I was her lover Confused by stroking my hair and whispering to me and commenting on my boobs.
And she used have sex really loudly with her bedroom door open and then come downstairs and giggle 'I hope you weren't listening'.
And she showed up at my grandfather's funeral even though she'd never met him, and then tut-tutted with disapproval at a private joke my brother and I made about him (he was a wife-beating alcoholic).

chickydoo · 22/03/2014 16:05

She was my bridesmaid over 20 years ago.
She was going to organise my Hen party.... she never got around to it...
She demanded expensive shoes ( wanted me to pay) I said no.
I made a hair appointment for both of us on the morning of the wedding, I drove her ( she didn't offer to drive me) she walked out of the salon, without offering to pay. ( that was ok) but she didn't tip or thank the hairdresser. My Dad was making cups of tea....she asked for champagne. my Mum was washing and cutting strawberries for the evening buffet, asked my friend to help she said no as it might damage her nails.
She got us a really odd gift, a pink glass dish.....weird!
She was really unpleasant the whole day, and was totally unsupportive.
I thought after the honeymoon she would perhaps call to see if we had a nice time, that was over 20 years ago, never seen her since.
S....H....
Yes it is you.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 22/03/2014 16:09

Because she practically sucked the life out of us. A "professional victim" who'd NEVER do anything to help herself no matter how tactfully suggested, she took and took and took - but did she even contact me when OH was seriously ill and my mum died? Did she heck!!!

McFox · 22/03/2014 16:14

Because she was so self-absorbed that I couldn't take it anymore. The lady straw was causing a drama on my hen do, including calling me a fucking liar, because she wasn't the centre of attention. The absolute last straw was then doing something similar at my wedding and keeping the gift and card she bought us because it cost her £5 in postage - way too much apparently. That £5 was the value of our friendship to her, so she had to go.

goodasitgets · 22/03/2014 16:15

Because every time I let her in my house she stole from me. I would (and will) give anything to anyone, but the stealing was a joke. When I finally told her I knew, she turned it on me and accused me of stealing Shock
It was so laughable but I was really upset by it, I've never stolen anything

TheNewSchmoo · 22/03/2014 17:12

Because I spent 20 (formative) years being her friend during which time she would go for every man I was ever interested in because she could, she was conventionally better looking (stunningly attractive to be fair to her) and could never understand why after her ONS they would remain my friend and drop her like a tonne of bricks. She knew that I would never start a relationship with someone she had slept with.

Eventually she married and hen pecked her poor husband to within an inch of his life. Nothing was ever good enough and she consistently wanted to change him, everything had to be her way. In the end he snapped and left her (no children or other woman, he just fell out of love with her). I had been trying to warn her and trying to get her to look at her behaviour but she was a control freak who would refuse to see she was in the wrong in any way.

When he left she behaved appallingly, made up lies about him, lost him his job, her vengeful behaviours were so hateful, I wanted nothing to do with her (haven't spoken to her husband since either). I get that she was hurt but nothing justified the things she did (which I won't go into for fear of outing myself).

I started to withdraw contact with her as I just didn't want to be in her company any more, an old friend of ours noticed and met me for a coffee to talk it through, it was her comment "you know it's part and parcel of being friends with X that is all about her" that made me think, yes I do know that, and I no longer want it. That's was about 5 years ago and I've never regretted it.

talulahbelle · 22/03/2014 17:26

  1. Because she was always late for things. Always. But would get shitty if you wouldn't wait for her. Lots of other reasons but that was one of the final straws.

  2. Because she started selling that Forever Living aloe vera crap and spammed me and everyone I knew with it. She got annoyed when I pointed out that her magic aloe vera deodorant really wan't the answer to lowering breast cancer rates.

AlpacaPicnic · 22/03/2014 17:42

Because she messaged me on fb a week before her wedding, implying that she wanted to start up an affair with me.

I had tried to distance myself subtly before. I stopped being subtle and told her never to contact me again.

WorraLiberty · 22/03/2014 17:45

Because she bumped a zombie thread

MacademiaNut · 22/03/2014 17:52

Goodness there are a lot of terrible 'ex-friends' out there!

IwinIwin · 22/03/2014 17:58

First she was all 're me me.'

Then she made a habit of starting fights and running for help behind us.

Then she tried it on with several of my friends partners in front of them and me.

I was sticking by her because of her drink and drug issues but then she neglected and abused her cats, that did it.

exbrummie · 22/03/2014 18:15

I wish I knew.
She used to come round for coffee once a week and just stopped.
I sent a few texts and she said she said she was busy etc.
After a few unanswered texts and a last ditch attempt Xmas card I took the hint, but never found out what happened.

GlassCaseofEmotion · 22/03/2014 18:22

Because she says one thing to one person and another to someone else and manages to manipulate everyone around her. A huge hypocrite - can be down to earth, 'mockney', dolly bird, tiger mother, hard done by single mother, lefty, righty, air head or super feminist depending on her audience. Spreads venom wherever she goes and thinks anyone without children has no opinion.

She broke up a family with a young daughter years ago by having an affair with her now DH, but slates anyone who cheats.....but then stopped talking to me when I met my now DH because she had 'seen him first' and wanted to start and affair with him.

Acts like a lovestruck teenager in her mid forties with three children. She collected allies, not friends. So so glad when I stopped answering the calls and texts - then when I'd 'crossed' her the rumours about me started. Friends of hers I didn't even know were slating me online.

Anyway - karma is a bitch. I'm married to DH with one beautiful DC and life is delightfully drama free!

uselessidiot · 22/03/2014 18:29

Because she was reporting back to XH everything and anything she could. Xh then used this info and twisted it to send threatening texts including " I'm watching you, you ". Haven't spoken to her since the day I found out how he was doing it, didn't even tell her why. If she's too thick to understand why I'm annoyed she's not worth my time explaining.

Only down side is she was the last friend that XH hadn't already chased away.

ImNotAFlower · 22/03/2014 18:47

Because he threatened to do something awful to someone and I called the police, I betrayed him apparently Confused

jenniferlawrence · 22/03/2014 18:51

A very long term friend made it more and more clear that we were bottom of her list if priorities, her time was too previous to see us, she only invited us to her events to make up numbers and when she did grace us with her presence all she would talk about was how much money she and her husband were spending on this, that and the other and how successful they are. It got really boring and the friendship felt pointless and fake.

Misspixietrix · 22/03/2014 18:58
  1. Said some very very horrible things to me at an extremely stressful point in my life. They joke about it even now. Hmm. 2. Perfect Parent friend. DC being monitored for possible autism adhd etc. Apparently DC is simply taking the piss with me...and the teachers and the SENs and SALT workers... .
NadiaWadia · 22/03/2014 19:01

Because she used to ignore DD as a toddler, (after initially enthusing about her as a baby, how pretty she was, etc.) even though she had an older DD of her own that I was very fond of. I thought maybe I was being too sensitive, so one evening when she came to visit me I kept a tally. Not one word addressed to or about 2 year old DD even though on a couple of occasions I put DD on my knee and started playing with her, thinking that would get her started. But nothing. OK, I know some people are not great with kids, but come on.

So I just let the friendship fizzle out after that. Strangely, she went on to have 2 more DCs with her new DP. I have never met them (but feel sorry for them). I think some people only like their own kids, (and not even them that much!), which I find weird.

NachoAddict · 22/03/2014 19:07

I had wanted to break off the friendship for awhile because she was always slagging other people off, judging everyone, thought she was so superior.

Everything always had to be about her. My baby ds was very poorly with group which she knew and we weren't getting much sleep. She still text me at 12 at night about how to dry her washing in a flat she was thinking of renting which came with a built in tumble dryer.

The final straw was when she spent all night on her phone when we were out and didn't like it when I pointed put how rude she was.

Oh and she was a hypocrite a.

Rilletts · 22/03/2014 19:12

Another one that didn't bother to call after major facial surgery to to remove skin cancer.

Then visiting her in SA after two night stay where we bought all the food / wine and had a lovely time dumped our load of washing into a drawer to collect. Very odd.

Hey ho.

Hemlet · 22/03/2014 19:13

I stopped talking to one of my best friends because she called my mum a bitch and said that I was mental because I suffer from seizures.

cheekyfunkymonkey · 22/03/2014 19:13

Because she was extremely rude to my dh to be during a difference in opinion at a dinner party and questioned why I was marrying him. This may have been forgiveable, but then when we spoke on the phone to resolve the issue instead of apologising she started regaling advice her mate who had never met either of us had given her telling me dh was obviously abusive. I didn't waste another day on the friendship and haven't looked back. I am however very happily married and I am confident if any of dh's friends treated me like that and didn't apologise he would do the same for me.

rabbitlady · 22/03/2014 19:15

i realised my 'friends' caused me more suffering than joy and ditched the lot.

expatinscotland · 22/03/2014 19:16

Because she started selling stuff and every conversation was trying to sell me something.