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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be very concerned that paedophile is living in my street

47 replies

Madmum24 · 16/06/2013 20:52

Live in a very naice area, was flicking through the local paper, only to discover that a man several doors away has been convicted of downloading hundreds of images (category 4, including bestiality related stuff) Massive shock, I feel quite sick about it as my children are the only ones that play outside (detached houses, high hedges etc, kids play in their back gardens) but mine do go around the block on scooters/bikes etc.

Admittedly I have never seen him (in fact I wouldn't recognize any of my neighbours!) but I feel so unnerved about the kids being out of the garden. They are sensible, no not to talk to strangers etc but still, I feel as if the area has been spoiled now (for me) I know we could all have dodgy people beside us, I suppose it is better to know etc, etc, but AIBU to feel as if I want to move now?

OP posts:
McNewPants2013 · 16/06/2013 20:54

If you move you may live by a sex offender who has yet been caught.

I would say better the devil you know.

cumfy · 16/06/2013 20:56

Must admit I'm surprised they published the exact address.

I assume everyone will be similarly concerned.

TheReverseStitch · 16/06/2013 20:59

Are you in the Manchester area by any chance? I had a similar conversation with someone about the same thing today.

Ledkr · 16/06/2013 21:02

YANBU I'd be concerned.
At least I guess you can be vigilant but I do feel for you.

WorraLiberty · 16/06/2013 21:03

YABU

There are probably many more in your area too that you have no idea about, because they haven't been caught.

At least you know who this guy is

Damash12 · 16/06/2013 21:05

I'd be very upset and would probably put a stop to them going out alone.

WorraLiberty · 16/06/2013 21:05

And what does living in a nice area have to do with it anyway?

I imagine Jimmy Saville lived in a nice area, in a very expensive house...

HollyBerryBush · 16/06/2013 21:05

Live in a very naice area onviously not Grin

Most offenders are 9a) within the family (b) never caught

naice >eye rolls

LuisSuarezTeeth · 16/06/2013 21:06

So the paper published his name, address and specifically mentioned crimes against children?

creamteas · 16/06/2013 21:06

Given the extent of child abuse, the chance are that everyone lives close to a paedophile. Angry

But most abusers are either family or close friends, children abused by strangers or acquaintances are much less common.

BaconKetchup · 16/06/2013 21:10

YANBU to find it worrying Sad

TheReverseStitch · 16/06/2013 21:12

The report I'm thinking of gave the full name and the area of the town in which he lives and details of the crime.

MacMac123 · 16/06/2013 21:14

I think there are probably pedophiles all over the place in every street or ever other street. At least you know so can be vigilante.
My friend runs half way houses where people serving life sentences are released to on release from jail (she works for a charity). Most of her tenants have done life sentences for child rape/abuse, some murdered too. They are all in nice houses on nice streets. She often says the neighbours must think they're odd houses (ie full of men) but she says if they knew the truth they'd be horrified.
In the town she lives in alone this charity has tons of these houses.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 16/06/2013 21:16

Many of us live close by a sex offender, most of us just don't know it. He wouldn't be at home if deemed a risk.

dorothyelmhirst · 16/06/2013 21:18

www.nspcc.org.uk/Inform/resourcesforprofessionals/sexualabuse/statistics_wda87833.html

Look at the numbers, do the maths, everyone lives near or next to one.

Original poster
Madmum24 · 16/06/2013 21:18

No, not in the Manchester area, in fact I am ashamed to talk to anyone in RL, I'm getting paranoid that they won't want their kids to come and play at our house anymore.

I said naice because I've seen it on MN many times, thought that was the done thing, clearly not! I know paedo's are everywhere, but I mentioned that the area is nice, meaning gorgeous nice to me, I had to wait years for my dream home, but this has really tainted it for me.

Those of you who said it's better to know, yes, I agree, at least I can be on my guard, but to actually have confirmation that someone who possesses pictures of children being abused makes me feel totally sick.

OP posts:
GoingVerySlowlyMad · 16/06/2013 21:19

YANBU at all, it is scary but at the end of the day at least you know and can take it into account. A very close relative of mine is a police officer and once told me that they are everywhere and that while some look obviously shifty, there are others that are quite literally the pillar of the local community. Lots of child abuse accusations never go very far because of lack of evidence, doesn't mean the person hasn't done it.

Original poster
Madmum24 · 16/06/2013 21:21

Apparently his crime warrants a jail sentence, but because he has never had physical contact with a child he is under a supervision order.

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 16/06/2013 21:24

YANBU to feel sick about it

But YABU let it taint your 'gorgeous' area or worry about what other parents think.

Unless those parents have their heads stuck in the sand too, about how wide spread this sort of thing is.

ATruthUniversallyAcknowledged · 16/06/2013 21:28

We are in a similar situation. Man convicted of having thousands of images lives a few doors from my mum. Tbh, I agree with the 'better the devil you know' comments. He bears no threat to ds because he'll never be allowed near him.

BridgetBidet · 16/06/2013 21:29

I grew up on the street next to a man who had been convicted of attacking a little girl in the alley behind their homes. Parents warned new comers to the area and I remember everybody's parents were quite strict with them re not playing out, going in the alleys or ever leaving the schools gates on their own.

He never reoffended but I doubt he would have had the opportunity again given how hot all the local parents were on it.

I know some people would say this was hysterical and that the kids should just carry on as normal but personally I wouldn't take the risk.

pinkandred · 16/06/2013 21:37

Madmum - I sympathise with how you feel because we were in exactly the same situation a few years ago. The person still lives here and I had to tell my dd that he is a very naughty man who has been in trouble with the police and if he tries to talk to her she must ignore him and tell me straight away.

It was very difficult at first to accept that he still lived so close but over time I have come to realise that you don't actually know most of your neighbours, even though you think you might. This person near me was a teacher, and so was his wife. Everyone around here was completely shocked.

At least you know now and you are able to be vigilant. You could move house but how do you know you wont be moving next to another one.

Personally, I thought that the man and his wife close to me would have put the house up for sale and moved to somewhere with fewer children (we live on an estate with lots of children regularly playing out, running past his out to go to each others gardens) but he's so hard faced that he's stayed put. No-one even looks at either of them any more.

maddy68 · 16/06/2013 21:43

I work in the area of child protection. You would be horrified to know how many are out there living next door to you, across the road, in the shop you go to every day.

I understand you feel uneasy but be realistic about the actual risk

HoppinMad · 16/06/2013 22:04

Yanbu

I have recently read about a similar person living in the street next to ours, who was caught taking photographs of children. When police checked his computer obviously found other damning evidence. Worryingly, he is still around (though not allowed to possess a camera of any sort), and unfortunately we are aware of his name but no idea who he is or which exact house he lives at. I guess we could find out if we really wanted to, but whose to say he would target our children and not somebody close to us. (As the statistics show, correct me if i'm wrong). We are quite over protective of the dc, and yes there is alot of hysteria and paranoia but feck, rather that than scar my kids for life if the worst happened. I know I would be a failure of a parent if my kids were ever harmed, because I didn't keep a closer more cautious eye.

It is worrying, there so many of these sick perverts be they in naice areas or shit and deprived areas. But as pp have suggested so many still at large so atleast it has been brought to your attention and are now aware.

prettybutclumpy · 16/06/2013 22:13

YANBU Madmum. We're in exactly the same position, but our kids play with others on the street, and son has been well warned. It does taint my view of our area, but I see what others are saying, and maybe its better that we know the risks on our doorstep rather than being ignorant of them.

I was disgusted when the family didn't move once the father came back from prison, and I actually saw the mother and kids at the airport saying farewell to a foreign exchange student (aged about 14) who had stayed with them for a week - how was this allowed? Like Pink no-one really talks to them anymore.

Stay strong, and try to enjoy your home. Don't let this man spoil your life.