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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

What in the name of holy hell is this new vileness?

52 replies

EleanorHandbasket · 15/06/2013 10:11

Oh god.

Dd, my little wonderful angel, is nine. She is beautiful and funny and bright.

She's also one of the most disgusting critters I've ever met. She's a picker, nose, teeth, feet, you name it. She jitters and jiggles and taps and sniffs and whistles and all sorts of habits and tics.

She has woken up today with a new habit. She is breathing. Hard. Out of her nose. Like a sniff but backwards.

It's making me want to throw up. I have spoken to her, I have shouted at her, I have sent her out of the room. She can't seem to help it. She keeps doing it and then looking at me and saying sorry.

I might have to send her to her room forever because I can't bear it. Help me. How can I break her of it?

OP posts:

mrsjay · 15/06/2013 11:43

EMotional abuse oh stop it really do stop

aldiwhore · 15/06/2013 12:09

My nine year old son goes through certain tic cycles.

We walk a very fine line between making him aware of them and drawing attention to them. A very. Fine. Line.

We're tic free at present, the whole head twitching lasted only a week or so, we said "Twitch!" every time he did it, buut never scolded him for it and that seemed to work.

AmazingBouncingFerret · 15/06/2013 12:12

Emotional abuse

EhricLovesTeamQhuay · 15/06/2013 12:26

I promise you, it's not emotional abuse I'd love to know what kind of significant harm that poster thinks will result from being told off for making unpleasant noises...

edam · 15/06/2013 12:30

Do you think she is in control of these tics, or are they automatic - happening without her knowing, or being compelled to do it? If they are beyond her control, then you need to see your GP. My 8yo niece has just been diagnosed with Tourettes - was (eventually after a long and frustrating process) referred to Great Ormond Street who have been fab. She's decided to live with her tics for now, especially as she's a bit young for their programme, but can go back any time she wants.

Original poster

EleanorHandbasket · 15/06/2013 12:34

I don';t think it's anything serious.

I think she's just quite a highly strung type in general and the fidgety tics are part of that.

She's having a nice soak in the bath now so can sniff and snotter away to her heart's content

OP posts:

ChaosTrulyReigns · 15/06/2013 12:36

Oh, exactly the same as you, Eleanor.

Misophonia. It's a bugger.

It's forks touching teeth that's my major flashpoint - DH and the DCs are definitely subject to EA then.

I find I'm at my most untolerant after a heavy nihgt.

Just sayin.

mrsjay · 15/06/2013 12:37

DD does this really annoying front of her teeth eating noise ( I know im not explaining it well ) but I have to walk away I have tried for years to get her to stop and yes I did get angry with her it is bloody annoying and no need for it, Eleanor maybe the bath will clear her sinuses

mrsjay · 15/06/2013 12:38

I only found out on TV that noise intoloerance was a real thing A woman had to put earphones in when she was feeding her baby she couldn't cope with the baby slurping ,

ThreeBeeOneGee · 15/06/2013 12:40

At one point three out of my four children had different (but equally annoying) transient tics. Spending any time with them was like that Fast Show sketch where Bob Fleming & his mates try to sing folk songs.

Fortunately they all grew out of them. For the record, the sudden nose exhalation one is less annoying than the throat clearing one or the weird humming one.

bigkidsdidit · 15/06/2013 12:41

Oh god this thread!

I have misophonia too. I never imagined my own tiny children would grow up to drive me mad

QOD · 15/06/2013 12:41

My husband bites chocolate with his front teeth....

He deserves to be beaten and I should LTB

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 15/06/2013 12:41

but frankly shouting at and sending your child away for breathing heavily is emotional abuse

Oh for the love of god.

EHB - go and stick some vicks in the bath with her

Roma2013 · 15/06/2013 12:43

My 12 yr old has grown out of hers. So there I was thinking yippe! Tic free! Then dd2 started (she s 8). I think this age group is prone to this tbh

SparkyTGD · 15/06/2013 12:49

My DS female friend who is about 11 does a weird honking noise when sniffing, have to try not to laugh, she's very fidgety too. Think her parents are hoping she will just grow out of it.

CajaDeLaMemoria · 15/06/2013 12:55

I breathe through my mouth.

I can't sustain oxygen levels if I breathe through my nose. I've had all type of breathing therapies and lessons, then the hospital did some operations and found that it can't be fixed.

I'm how really worried I inadvertently drive people mad. Sorry!

Pigsmummy · 15/06/2013 13:12

Does she have hay fever? I do and I have been doing reverse sniffing due to irritation, my DH and DD haven't shouted at me or sent me out of the room though which I do think is a bit harsh.

Have you asked why she is doing it?

For nasal issues try getting her to use nose muzzles, about £2 a pack from the baby aisle, take a wipe, wrap it around your finger and have a good wiggle up the nostrils (DD to do this not you) it gets rid of snot and irritation very well. Then if it continues challenge her about the reasons don't just shout.

Roobot · 15/06/2013 13:34

Jesus wept. I know EXACTLY the noise you mean. My DH does it. Like a reverse sniff/ non-expelling nose blow. Make me want to decapitate him. However, he does suffer from seasonal asthma/allergies which i think is what causes the discomfort that makes him to do it. Doesn't make me want to decapitate him any less though...

jammiedonut · 15/06/2013 13:43

My brother does this when he's annoyed with me. If there happens to be anything up there when he breathes out hard (blood/snot/boogers) then that comes out too and is left to hang there until I'm driven mad. You have to rise above it and she'll stop but drawing attention to it, showing your annoyed will only make it worse if there is nothing physically wrong with her. My family know I cannot stand any noises to do with eating, breathing, chewing and crunching and will use this knowledge against me whenever they can. Bastards.
Yanbu to be revolted, maybe a bit unreasonable to shout and send her away (although I do the same thing!)

ecclesvet · 15/06/2013 15:02

If my mother shouted at me and sent me away for breathing loudly, and I was having to constantly apologise to her for it, then yes, I would consider it emotional abuse. Sorry I didn't sugarcoat it.

Tee2072 · 15/06/2013 15:11

Makes me wonder about your relationship with your mother in general, eccle. Are you very insecure?

BeKindToYourKnees · 15/06/2013 15:25

Up until last week I had to share an office with someone like this - he would be banging, tapping, rocking, clicking his pen on and off, singing the same line from a song over and over and over again. His favourite is 'My Sharona' with a loud WHOO! at the end.

What made me want to kill him though was him saying "gooda-goong, gooda-goong, gooda-goong-goong-goong" with his teeth closed, IYSWIM.

Then he wouldn't do it for a few weeks so it was lovely and peaceful only for it to start again. Used to drive me mad.

Now I share an office with someone who has a constant frog in their throat, its heaven by comparison

manticlimactic · 15/06/2013 15:41

OK my DD was like this. The coughing, the sniffing, the rabbit nose (my ex, her dad, does all of them too ) You need to tackle them one by one. What I found was if someone else mentioned it then she would stop. I think she thought I was just finding her irritating (yes I was ) but she seemed to listen to others. My sister got the job. DD is 16 and just bites her nails really loudly.

It's rather come full circle now as she moans at me if I eat too loudly I just say when she stops biting her nails I'll stop eating loudly

dayshiftdoris · 15/06/2013 18:08

Oh my lord! I think I have Misophonia and I am working in an office for first time ever....

Pens clicking, people eating have annoyed me already... I can't bear sniffing, swallowing snot (whatever that is called), jigging, etc... I am better than I was as Son has ASD and moves all the time... Had to be very tolerant - never sent him out for his various noises but I have locked myself in the loo

Oh and I asked someone, at work if they needed the toilet because they were jigging

OTTMummA · 15/06/2013 18:33

I don't think it's emotionally abusive but,,, it's not really on shouting at her.
She probably can't help it as much as you can't help disliking it.

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