To have not stopped for these school children?

[spg1983]

What a day I'm having - this is my second AIBU today!

Just got back from taking dd swimming. It is in a leisure centre pool on a quiet street with a small infant school nearby. There's a 20mph limit with speed bumps and a crossing a few metres away from the school and leisure centre, but if you're coming from the leisure centre then you probably have to walk 30secs past the school to use the crossing, then kind of go back on yourself if you see what I mean?

As we were leaving, 2 teachers (or a teacher and a TA, not sure) were leading approx 20 pupils back from the leisure centre where they'd obviously been swimming. They were well-behaved and walking in pairs. They all stopped at the speed bump which is between the leisure centre and the school, just as I was approaching it in my car. I'd only just pulled away so was going loads less than 20 and just as I was driving over the bump I heard the teacher shout "whoa, stop, everyone!" This was ridiculous as the children were immaculately behaved and weren't attempting to go anywhere. She then carried on with "That's a dangerous driver. She wasn't using her eyes and ears like we do." I guess they'd been learning how to cross safely.

Anyway, I got annoyed and stopped the car as soon as I could. There were no other cars anywhere, either moving or parked so it was obviously me she meant. I said to the teacher that they weren't at the crossing therefore I wasn't sure if they wanted to cross or not, and that as a teacher myself (at a school with speed bumps outside!) I'd seen loads of near misses caused by children deciding to assume the speed bumps were official crossing points and that pedestrians had priority. The children were not going anywhere so it was not dangerous for me to drive past them but I made the point that if they were learning about road safety, surely they should use crossings where possible? The teacher said it was to get them back quicker and therefore have more time in the pool, and wouldn't I want my child to have that benefit? I replied "not if it means encouraging her to disregard road safety guidelines, I'd rather have her safe than get an extra minute or two in the pool." The teacher tutted and told me I obviously didn't understand how school trips work (I regularly organise residential trips for 50 pupils both in the UK and abroad and have led groups of 80+ around London in rush hour) and then led the pupils away.

AIBU to have challenged her? Just couldn't stand the passive-aggressive comment and then the assumption that I didn't know how to cross a road with children - grrr! Just hate the idea of these children crossing that (or any other, busier) road on their own in the future and getting into an accident.

Wow

A little OTT perhaps

I'd have been cross about the dangerous driver comment. That was very rude.

Write to the head teacher.

I think the teacher could have made the point about road safety without being rude about the OP's driving, particularly as she wasn't driving dangerously, and clearly the safest thing would have been for the children to cross as the crossing.

You took affront and had a discussion with her in front of the children she was supervising, distracting her.
You proved to the children that drivers will get out and challenge someone, instead of staying safely in their cars. Which is quite a scary thought for some.
You were moving, and she stopped the children, and she pointed out why, you were moving so perhaps you hadn't seen them. Most drivers round here stop for a crocodile.
You were being foolish when you assumed that road safety should use crossings, there are a number of occasions when children will need to cross without them.
Not a good reflection on you all round really.

So a teacher with a class of infant school aged children was ignoring a crossing and crossing the road wherever she felt like it? What a lazy idiot. Also shouting, or calling out loudly, is far more likely to make a young child jump or panic.
I'm a student teacher and call me OTT but I wouldn't allow my secondary aged pupils to cross the road without a crossing. You can't take those risks with other people's children.

She is an idiot for not ensuring kids using the bloody crossing!

No, the other teacher took most of the children in so they were kind of walking past but wouldn't have heard much as they all kept moving IYSWIM.

My point was that although I'd normally ignore a comment like that, the children are so young and eager to please, and if they are told that the correct thing to do is to cross on a speed bump (and expect all cars to stop for you) then surely this could lead to a dangerous situation if they were ever crossing without an adult?

I think what I didn't get across well (when it happened and also on here) was the fact that I have seen so many injuries and near misses caused by this (a boy had his ankle broken by a car running over it when he crossed over a speed bump outside our school). Maybe it's just something I feel strongly about because of that and it's difficult for others to see, as I realise that's a pretty extreme situation where I work.

Oh well, I'm happy to accept IABU, thanks for your honesty.

Teacher here.
She should have used the crossing and shouldn't have been commenting to the pupils about you. Rofl at her assuming she knew more about trips than you! If it was me I wouldn't have spoken to her but I am a wuss. I don't think it was wrong to challenge it.

eyesunder I work with children, please be assured I was subtle and non-threatening, and kept totally professional, although I take your point on distracting the teacher.

I do feel that the teacher was rude with what she said when I drove by plus I stand by my point that where a crossing is available, it should be used as that's what drivers would expect and it is designed to get people across the road safely.

I do accept my timing was rubbish though!

Oh and I hate it when other teachers use the "you're not a teacher, you wouldn't understand" line. Is our job to help others understand! :o

Oh, I didn't think that you had been rude or shouty, OP.

I'm just having a giggle at the rigid guidelines that blueemerald is setting up for herself.
Mentoring NQTs often has moments when you have to keep a straight face, but online I am free to have a small snort.

YWNBU not to stop as you rightly point out it could lead children to assume that cars will stop for them.

Yes, but OP is a secondary teacher, so perhaps not as used to wrangling at the basic level required at primary.
I've often though a sheepdog would be useful.

The teacher sounds very rude and arrogant, and unfortunately typical of many teachers, who think that they are right and that anyone that is not a teacher is stupid.

I would complain to the school about her.

I bet the risk assessment says to use the crossing. I would write to the head teacher if I thought the children were unsafe.

Yes eyesunder I have great admiration for those who lead trips with primary children, it's hard enough with secondary! :)

YWNBU. This kind of ignorant thinking (better to have a few minutes extra in the pool than cross the road safely) could have lethal consequences for a child. Good for you OP..!

She's lucky I didn't start giving the class and impromptu lesson on the highway code with a fully fledged singing rendition of the green cross code!!

Oh and a lesson in how teacher isn't always right!

I might be inclined to write to - or phone - the head of the school and ask if the teachers' behaviour was in accordance with official school policy. As a parent I'd want my children to be shown the importance of using crossings for safety. (If time is over-riding concern you might just as well say let's all learn how to nip through gaps in the traffic.)

Hand on heart, would you have stopped and pulled her up if she hadn't commented about you as a driver?

I would complain about her. She was setting the children a bad example on several counts and sounds like she needs to have the wind taken out of her sails. Next time perhaps she'll make sure that children do not think that speed bumps give them the same rights as a pedestrian crossing (very dangerous to put that idea in their heads) or that loudly and rudely commenting on other people within their hearing is acceptable behaviour.

I've never used this phrase before but, Eyesunderarock, did you mean to be so rude?

I worked with secondary school aged children for 3 years as a TA (I would estimate I went on around 20 school trips), plus a year with students with severe SEN which affected their awareness of danger and impulse control (we went to the supermarket and park every week so another 50 or so trips out of school), as well as, obviously, my PGCE year where I ran/helped with 4 school trips.

I've never, ever had a student try and cross the road when asked not to.

TSS that's a great question! Being honest, I think had she been with another adult or with her own children then probably not, I'd have just got home and grumbled on mn!

I think I probably wouldn't have stopped but I am always at the leisure centre at the same time and so are they, we've just never come into contact before, I think I'd have waited to see if it happened again before saying something. So her making the snarky comment probably just sped things up...