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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ban DH watching sport on holiday?

52 replies

ShadeofViolet · 13/06/2013 10:03

The last three holidays we have been on have involved DH watching a lot of sport, leaving me with the DC's while he watches it, or getting grumpy because he is missing it. It really is starting to grate.

Our holiday this year clashes with 2 of the ashes matches, and I know we are going to have the same thing. Getting snappy with the children, not wanting to do anything, or arranging what we do around sport.

AIBU to put a ban on watching sport while we are away?

OP posts:
NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 13/06/2013 10:05

Yes. YABU. But having said that it's unfair for you not to get any time to yourself if DH is getting time to his self.

Can he record them and watch them in the evening?

Squitten · 13/06/2013 10:06

I wouldn't ban him but I would be ensuring that there is a compromise. He gets a day to watch his sport while you take the kids off elsewhere and in return you get a day to yourself at the spa/beach/museums while he takes the kids off elsewhere. The rest of the time is family time.

dreamingbohemian · 13/06/2013 10:09

Can you go camping? or something without TVs?

What does he say when you tell him he's being unreasonable and it's not fair you don't have similar time off? I mean, how does he justify it?

Original poster
ShadeofViolet · 13/06/2013 10:10

We cant split up because we have 3dc's, one of who has severe SN and needs 1:1, so while I am taking care of him I need DH to watch the other two.

Also, when I am away I dont want to spend time on my own, I want to spend it with my family.

OP posts:
Original poster
ShadeofViolet · 13/06/2013 10:11

What does he say when you tell him he's being unreasonable and it's not fair you don't have similar time off? I mean, how does he justify it?

He will say, 'It'll only be an hour', and then he ends up staying in the pub for hours, while we wait around the caravan for him.

OP posts:
BeckAndCall · 13/06/2013 10:14

Is there no chance for you all to go to the pub to watch it together? Or to be in the same pub and you and the kids in the garden or in the play area?

Or do any of the DCs like cricket - if so he can take one or more of them with him!

ByTheWishingWell · 13/06/2013 10:15

You should both be able to do some of the activities you enjoy on holiday. Just because you may not want to spend time on your own on holiday doesn't mean he shouldn't be allowed to watch any sport. (Obviously within reasonable limits, not just sodding off to relax in a bar for the whole holiday while you care for the DCs!)

Is there any chance of watching the match as a family, or would the children have no interest at all?

ByTheWishingWell · 13/06/2013 10:16

Xposts.

CrowsLanding · 13/06/2013 10:22

I think yabu.

Last year on holiday with dp and 6 dc, my dp wanted to watch the football, We went along with him and we all ate together which took a good hour, I then left him there and took kids out and about till the game was finished. No way would I be sitting in the caravan waiting for him Confused

Original poster
ShadeofViolet · 13/06/2013 10:24

DD is 4 and would have no interest, DS2 is 6 and would find the pub too noisy to even stand being in it, DS1 is 12 but doesnt like cricket either.

I have no problem with him watching the highlights in the evening. If he did this I could take DD to the disco while he watched DS2, however he doesnt want to do this as it 'takes the fun out of it' so he wants to watch it from 10am - 6ish.

OP posts:
livinginwonderland · 13/06/2013 10:24

Surely you can entertain the kids while he's watching sports? I get that it's a bit boring, but matches aren't all day everyday. I'm sure you can find something else to do with the kids for a few hours while he watches the match.

IShallWearMidnight · 13/06/2013 10:27

livinginwonderland - have you ever watched cricket? Ashes matches are 5 days long!

dreamingbohemian · 13/06/2013 10:28

If he needs to take care of the older two, does that mean he's taking them to the pub with him? Do they like sport at all? I used to love watching baseball with my dad when I was little, it can be good bonding time.

I totally agree the holiday should not be overshadowed by his sport watching, I'm just wondering if there's any way to compromise.

dreamingbohemian · 13/06/2013 10:29

sorry x-post

Yes I agree 10-6 even for just a couple days is ridiculous

axure · 13/06/2013 10:36

Can you take a radio and tune into Test Match Special whilst on the beach, or whatever you're doing outside? Then he can spend time with you and the children without missing out on the cricket action. You must be having a long holiday if there are 2 Ashes tests whilst you're away, so hopefully you'll get a few sport free days!

Original poster
ShadeofViolet · 13/06/2013 10:53

That is a better idea, I wonder if DH will go for it.

We are going away the 2nd -16th. The first 4 days will be taken up with cricket, then 4 days off, then 5 full days again.

I think thats the main problem. If it was one day and then a few days without it would be okay, but 5 days in a row is too much. Last year I tried taking all three children out but it was a nightmare because DS is so unpredictable - you dont know when he is going to become upset. We had a beach side caravan last year and we took lots of bubbles and played on the top of the beach with the bubble maker, but there is only so long you can do that for.

OP posts:
Scholes34 · 13/06/2013 11:01

Test Match Special is the way to go. I went to Lords with DH this year, and we listened to TMS whilst watching the match. Bit strange though, as the digital system delays the commentary by a few seconds.

Look carefully at your dates for your holiday next year. Best to try to avoid any clash, rather than having DH grumpy.

axure · 13/06/2013 11:03

DH would be unreasonable to expect to spend 9 out of 14 days watching TV. It's just as exciting on the radio. My summer holiday this year includes spending 5 days at Old Trafford, but I'm a fan, so looking forward to it.

Original poster
ShadeofViolet · 13/06/2013 11:04

Next year I have the world cup, the Commonweath games, more cricket probably and tennis to deal with, however we are going to Greece so I doubt there will be anyone showing much of it.

OP posts:
specialsubject · 13/06/2013 11:08

don't you believe it, ShadeofViolet - the stuff gets everywhere and even on expensive active holidays people clamour to sit indoors watching TV.

spectator sport is just watching TV. Nothing sacred.

OP - time your hubby grew up. Three kids, one with SN, not compatible with days in front of the TV. Oh, and if he is using a radio in a public place, make sure he turns it down as other people might not want to listen to it. I would suggest headphones but then he won't be helping you.

Original poster
ShadeofViolet · 13/06/2013 11:34

I think he can get the radio on his Iphone so thats an option.

OP posts:
Alibabaandthe40nappies · 13/06/2013 11:41

TMS is a good option, we are going to be listening to it while we are on holiday!

He is being a dick though, you don't just bugger off to do your own thing when you are on a family holiday. A couple of hours once or twice would be ok, but wanting to watch a whole day of cricket in the pub leaving your partner looking after the children is completely twattish behaviour. And I say that as a keen cricket fan who is looking forward to the Ashes immensely.

dreamingbohemian · 13/06/2013 11:43

Don't book greece for world cup time! It will be everywhere.

If you stay somewhere popular with Brits, the rest of it will be around too.

My ILs have a caravan in the Vendee, just a tiny place in France no one's heard of, but it's full of Brits for 2 weeks in August and they have a big TV with Sky sports in the campsite lounge.

Though I agree your DH needs to grow up. Some sports time, yes, but expecting to watch all the sports you want while your wife deals with the kids is very childish and selfish.

Original poster
ShadeofViolet · 13/06/2013 11:49

We have already booked for the 6th-13th. We are going to Lindos in Rhodes.

Just googled and it will all be over well before then - phew!

OP posts:
gotthemoononastick · 13/06/2013 11:55

Good luck trying to ban him....he will be like a cat on hot coals wondering about the game...very unpleasant vibe.Hundred years experience of an ALL sports loving husband. Recording box a menace too!