to feel quite uncomfortable about this

[washyourhairforgodssake]

I posted on here a few days ago about something very sensitive and upsetting that has really been troubling me. Won't go into too much detail but it was regarding my teenage daughter and some anger problems she's having.

I got a PM from a researcher for a TV company asking if I would be interested in appearing in a TV show about child to parent abuse. (No, I wouldn't!)

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about my post being read in this way? I guess I do have to accept that it's the internet and everyone can see my post, but it just didn't sit well.

Did you report the PM, I think researchers are meant to ask MN before contacting members. I've had the same happen to me because I've mentioned my surrogate pregnancies, it is a little un-nerving.

YANBU to feel uncomfortable about that at all.

Although like you said, you just have to accept that it's the internet.

No I didn't report it, I should though I guess.

Gosh - I'd be on to MNHQ like a shot, it really isn't fair for researchers to use MNers private stories as a sort of happy hunting ground for material.

Not at all unreasonable to feel uncomfortable, the researcher should rethink their approach as it isn't really appropriate. But as you say beyond feeling uncomfortable there's not a lot to say really - it is a public forum and beyond common human decency there isn't much to hold people back from doing this.

Try to ignore it and not let it get to you.

Report, Op.
I'd be livid.
It may be the Internet but it's not what MN is about.

Report it - I had one asking me about caring for elderly parents just after I'd posted that my Dad had died aged 102. I reported it and MNHQ confirmed that pms should not be used by journalists to contact mumsnetters.

At the risk of being offensively flippant though....

on the plus side you now have an absolutely solid gold blackmail opportunity to use on your daughter....buck up your ideas or I go on jeremy kyle (or whatever horrible programme the researcher was stirring up trouble for).

Sorry, I'm sure it's not a laughing matter really.

Do report, these people are bloody vultures I remember once Channel 4 approaching my DD about sex in relationships, she was in a relationship where they were "waiting" but had been sexually active, she was 15/16 cant remember. Anyway, they needed my permission for her to take part. My concern is that she would be portrayed in a way that, looking back, she may regret so i said that i wasn't comfortable. The researcher became really quite nasty when she realised that I wasn't going to allow it and even said that i was not letting my DD express her own opinions. She kept ringing, in the end i actually told her to fuck off and leave us alone - short, sharpp and too the point, she got the message.

I think i remember your thread, I hope things are settling down for you.

Definately don't let these people anywhere near your DD!! fuckers

You can't blame the researcher for reading it - this is an open forum - but journalists are supposed to post on Media Requests. Occasionally a regular user will send someone they 'know' a PM (I've done it myself) but the whole tone of that one is utterly out of order.

I don't think the PM system is meant to be used by researchers - there's another route for them to approach MN members (I think it's more along the lines of them posting in a separate area, and then MN members who want to participate communicate with them?)

Perhaps check the guidelines and see if I've got that right and report to MNHQ?

Oooh lots of cross posts, there was the only the OPs post when I started typing!

Hullo all,

Sorry that this happened and have upset you washyourhair. As the many wise people upthread have said, PMs are not for commercial researchy purposes - so please do report it to us.

If any MNer gets a PM like that (or one that is concerning them), then the thing to do is to report it, and we'll sort it out

As a gentle aside, this sort of thread is best off in Site Stuff, as we check there regularly, and are more likely to see it!

motherinferior - the journalist should have kept her beak out! How dare she/he approach someone who came to a forum for support - as you say, totally out of order. I think that when we join, we should asked if we are willing to be approached by outside parties and indicate as such on our registration. There is no way on this earth i would want a journalist contacting me to discuss things i have sought support for on here. It would make me reluctant to post and i would lose a valuable support network.

report it. They aren't allowed to contact us like that. It's against MNs T&Cs

I worked in a homeless shelter and they Kilroy were on us all the time to try to recruit our people. Vultures.

oh, hi Kate. xpost

I had one after my recent car crash of a thread about swinging but for a magazine. They didn't say which one, take a break probably, I'm guessing not Cosmo.

Mrs Terry that's awful. I've worked with women escaping domestic violence and had to scare off Jeremy Kyle researchers who thought the fact she had a restraining order our was by the by, they'd film them separately. The woman was very vulnerable, had no idea what she was opening herself up to.

I had one chasing me to do something on extended BFing. DD2 hates me posting on here, she's really going to pose for pictures her school friends might see

I did report it and MNHQ promised to have a word.

God they really feed on people on here don't they

@Startail

I had one chasing me to do something on extended BFing. DD2 hates me posting on here, she's really going to pose for pictures her school friends might see

I did report it and MNHQ promised to have a word.

And our words are powerful