To get everything 2nd hand for our baby?

[Leonas]

We are expecting our first baby in December and are very excited about it. Lots of friends and family have had babies recently and we have been offered loads of baby stuff already (mainly clothes but some other stuff too - baby gym etc). We got a pram/ travel system super cheap 2nd hand and once it has all been spruced up it is perfect.
My mum really wants to get us something for the baby but we don't really need anything else at the moment and we don't want people to be spending a fortune on us/ the baby.
We haven't been very sensible with money in the past and are both bad for having lots of stuff and we are desperate not to continue this when the baby arrives.
Are we being sensible or cheapskates?!

I think you're very sensible, especially as you know alot of parents.
Could your Mum open a savings account instead?

Sensible for the most part but I think it's your mum's right as a grandmother-to-be to have the opportunity to spoil her grandchild.

I would let her buy one big thing - maybe a cotbed? It's not extravagant and will get years of daily use. A perfect sensible new thing.

Speaking as a new Step Nan, you should let your Mum buy stuff, it has been lovely to buy for a new born again.

I bought a second hand pram, they don't have much disposiable income.

I think you should be sensible in what you need to buy and what needs to be new, but if you wouldn't generally buy second hand stuff, then i never understand why people start to do this for the most important person in their lives, tbh.

A mix of both, new and used, is fine.

There are 2 things you need to have new - a car seat and a mattress (or cotbed).
This is a safety issue. So it would be totally reasonable to suggest to your mum she buys one of these for your new arrival. They are useful gifts.
YANBU to use second hand other items though.

We have friends like you, very sensible about secondhand things. The grandparents planted a fruit tree in their garden for each child, now they are old enough to help grandma make apple pie.

A savings account is another lovely idea, or perhaps some classic children's books for when the baby is a bit older?

Very sensible. I'd also suggest to your Mum she might want to set up a savings plan.

How about she buys a new mattress for the cot, or a car seat-one of the things that 'have' to be new?

When i said, i bought a second hand pram, i meant as well as lots of new things, including clothes.

Sensible. But do let your mum buy something, they like doing that!!

Agree with pascha, she is excited and wants to be involved. If you have a cot sorted, could she get you a highchair or a forward facing car seat or a folding buggy. None of these things you need for months but you will need eventually. Rather than getting you bits she probably in her head wants to see something "big" that will get used.

Very sensible- get her to start a savings account.

YADNBU I think it's perfectly fine and very sensible to get everything second hand (with the exception of carseats) particularly if you know the provenance of the stuff.

Grandmothers do like to buy baby things and I dont think I'd stand a chance in reducing the amount DH's mother and aunts give us but you could try tactfully? Premium Bonds are good if people really want to get something expensive for the baby - although obviously more boring and not nearly so sweet looking. However I was seriously grateful for the premium bonds my grandparents bought me when I was 18 and travelling - much more so than any pink
Babygrow but they might not have had so much fun from them.

Just bear in mind if you don't have a brand new £800 bugaboo/icandy the middle classes will never accept you.

Loads of baby classes to go too, other things will crop up once baby is born...

very sensible not to fall for marketing crap ...

A good mattress as mentioned above - they can be over 100...very good investment, esp if you have a cot bed, as it will last till 5 years or more!

Lots of lessons and hobbies kick for the child, best start saving now. Loads of options.

Very sensible to be sensible with your money but I would choose something that is useful but a but of a luxury for your mum to buy. It is her prerogative to spend her money on her grandchild.
Yes also to a savings plan.
Oh, and consider myself to be middle class and I couldn't give a shit what buggy you have. Actively dislike bugaboo!

Of course YANBU. Almost everything DS has worn/slept in/crapped in/sat on/been transported in over the last 2 and a bit years has been 2nd hand.

I would let your Mum spend her money how she wants though, although if you can nudge her towards something useful (car seat etc) so much the better.

yanbu i learnt this lesson by dc3 she had new mattreses for cot and Pram and a new carseat and base.

This way it didn't sting as much when i sold the unused bouncy chair and the swing she screamed at on sight

How about a nice full size single bed for the nursery. You caN drop off in it during long hard nights and it will become baby's real bed until he or she leaves home.

Agree with Little princess. New car seat and mattress.

Totally agree about the car seat and mattress being new. Everything else we bought secondhand.

We must have saved a fortune. I don't get why people have to get everything new but then we prefer to spend our £ on holidays each to their own I guess.

I think the only new thing I would get is a mattress. I would also make sure that the previous owner friend of the car seat can confirm that it hasn't been in an accident.

The baby stuff is expensive but it is only the start. Shoes, school trips costing two hundred, swimming and music lessons. We cut corners where ever possible.

With small babies we got almost everything second hand (from friends, charity shops, car boots, NCT sales, through the paper etc) and it has saved us a small fortune. It has meant that I've been able to stay home with my kids and only work a day or two each week.

We are/were like you. Lots of stuff. Spent lots of money in the past! However when we had DS we inherited clothes toys and stuff so spent v little. A few items we bought I found at a car boot sale (buggy system quinny buzz, steriliser) or on ebay (arms reach bedside cot) and we decided to use reusable nappies so the initial outlay was a few hundred pounds.
However it is lovely for grandparents to indulge their grandchildren so do have a think about what would be helpful - a savings account, nursery furniture (not nec but could be lovely, especially if you get a cot bed which could see them through until they are 10).
However my top extravagant purchase was a stokke trip trapp high chair - AMAZING. & they do a newborn set so you can have baby at the same height as you whilst you are eating supper. V handy. & they can use the chair for the rest of their life as it grows with the child.....
Or granny could pay for reusable nappies? Save money & have a child potty train earlier than many others.
Good luck & congrats!

Hi stick with it. I have a 20 week old baby and bags of clothes and toys already outgrown. I have since been to car boots and a preloved baby market and my god the money I could have saved. If I had my time again, everything would be 2nd hand and the money would pay for a fab fab holiday with my baby instead. Good luck x