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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To get everything 2nd hand for our baby?

51 replies

Leonas · 11/06/2013 20:57

We are expecting our first baby in December and are very excited about it. Lots of friends and family have had babies recently and we have been offered loads of baby stuff already (mainly clothes but some other stuff too - baby gym etc). We got a pram/ travel system super cheap 2nd hand and once it has all been spruced up it is perfect.
My mum really wants to get us something for the baby but we don't really need anything else at the moment and we don't want people to be spending a fortune on us/ the baby.
We haven't been very sensible with money in the past and are both bad for having lots of stuff and we are desperate not to continue this when the baby arrives.
Are we being sensible or cheapskates?!

OP posts:
DizzyZebra · 11/06/2013 23:24

Yanbu there is very little that will benefit baby brand new.

extracrunchy · 11/06/2013 23:26

YANBremotelyU! Baby won't know the difference and it's all stuff that gets used for a couple of months max and thrown out anyway Grin

Altinkum · 11/06/2013 23:32

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UndineSpragg · 11/06/2013 23:45

Car seat and mattress new, everything else secondhand in our house. I think you'd be sensible. If someone's afire to get you something other than car seat and mattress, suggest they get you some beautiful hand knitted blankets or something. Or ask them to hang on a bit - depending on what your baby turns out to like or be soothed by, a month or two down the road, you might find you could ask for one of those expensive swinging/ vibrating chairs, or a jumperoo, when older still...?

missingmumxox · 12/06/2013 00:04

I brought or accepted all second hand my Dt's and never regretted, children get more expensive, only in the last year have I had to buy new as boys apear to be very tough on clothes and people buy less for boys than girls, I was lucky another mum at nursery remembered me when moving and gave me all her Tb's clothes up to age 6 including underwear, which she was sweet about, packed separately and told me if I found it weird then I could just chuck away, I didn't.

Like the others I spent an indecent amount on mattresses and car seats, I felt totally justified in these purchases, I got 2 isofix car seats £200 each and the fixing £150 each, so new an idea at the time, I had to show the salesman the blurb in the car manufacturers web site, they where brilliant, just clunk in and press a button to release, a real bonus with 2, couldn't give them away after, wish i kept them as 2 cousins have had twins in the last 2 years and would have made their lives so much easier... to be far never seen anybody else with them in the intervening 8 years, possible the cost was too much, they are much safer than standard car seats and yet a bugaboo...something you can show off is a "investment" item.

Oh! I also brought new, a slightly rusted on the poppers pram/pushchair from a real old fashioned bike shop it was their display model for £160 pounds, found out if was some fancy Italian make and my aunt sold it for about £400 on e-bay.

so your mum. she needs to buy something lovely for her grandchild, money in a bank does not do it for me to be honest, my Mum in law knitted some lovely things which i have kept as mementos after use, in fact everything people made me I kept.

one thing you might not have thought of is washable nappies, the posh type, about £300 the set but can be used for the next child (no pressure from me then :) ) not for everyone but I was having to do bi-daily shopping trips to get disposables (the logistics of twins is not easy) and the nappies where fantastic, I kid you not, loved them.

high chair, you might not have got this yet, as not needed for a while.

if you haven't brought a Mose's basket or crib as they are used for literally weeks, she could buy new, they are adorable. I brought second hand (one of each as that was what was available second hand) and they are so handy for those weeks, as you can set it up downstairs. (to be fair one of my twins was so small he was in the crib until 7 months old LOL! )

Tumble dryer if you don't have one, I didn't until they boys where born.

Baby prison (playpen) I got a hexagonal one, which opened out to fix to walls Very handy for when the phone rings, doorbell goes even when tiny babies if mobile and that could have a tent like a castle I think (I never brought that bit) again I doubt you have thought that far ahead.

good luck and congrats,

Oldraver · 12/06/2013 00:07

Its perfectly fine to buy anything second hand apart from mattreses and car seats IMO

niceguy2 · 12/06/2013 01:09

Everything for our DD1 was second hand. Even down to the car seat.

We were young, I'd only recently graduated from uni with absolutely nothing in the bank. Looking back I feel more guilt about the horrible shade of pink I painted her room than the fact her stuff was second hand.

I know some have the opinion that a car seat cannot be second hand but for me as long as you know it's history and it hasn't been in an accident then i can't see the issue personally.

KarlaPilkington · 12/06/2013 01:44

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mrsbugsywugsy · 12/06/2013 02:12

yanbu, pretty much everything dd has is second hand, except for mattresses and car seat, as others say.

the best baby present I was given was vouchers for baby massage classes.

spatchcock · 12/06/2013 02:20

You're very sensible. We were the same, but I am my mother's daughter so while she was desperate to buy us stuff she knew where I was coming from!

I knew that there would be unforeseen expenses or things that I would need in the future so I asked Mum to hold fire. Sure enough, after DD was born I realised I needed X Y and Z and Mum was happy to oblige.

defineme · 12/06/2013 02:24

Most valuable things I had were stuff to put baby in-baby swing-elctric thing that was so good and a real luxury-let her buy you one of those.

Want2bSupermum · 12/06/2013 02:34

Our children are in 2nd hand stuff. It doesn't make sense to buy new. DH was funny about it at first but I took him to the department stores here in the US and then took him to the car boot sale when visiting my Dad.

We can afford to do either but choose to put what we save into a college savings account for each child. DD is turning two next month and has $17k in her account.

exoticfruits · 12/06/2013 07:33

They are a baby for a very short time- it is far more sensible for your mother to wait and save the money for when it is needed.

Facelikeafriendlyapple · 12/06/2013 07:52

Definitely NBU. We've got tons of second hand stuff for our DC and my DM has been going mad in charity shops for months now, buying clothes for the next year.Saved us a fortune. There are definitely unforeseen (or at least unforeseen by me!) expenses though. For me, needing to buy a v good quality electric breast pump was one example. I needed it to help boost my supply and it helped, but was over £100 so not cheap. Also buying a good sling, I got mine on eBay but some people prefer to buy new so they can guarantee provence, but again you can easily spend £100 on that if New. So things like that it might be useful to think about your mum buying those if she's willing... Good luck and enjoy!

icklemssunshine1 · 12/06/2013 08:08

Sensible! DH & I are a professional couple, combined income of 60k per year yet when DD was born nearly 2 years ago we bought EVERYTHING second hand excerpt mattress, bottles & breast pump. We even scoured eBay for left over packs of nappies! For us it's a waste if someone had got perfectly good stuff that we can get cheap. We have that view for ourselves too - I like a bargain & DH is obsessed with his carbon footprint. We set up an account for DD when she was born & most people donated a small gift to her university fund, this is also what happens on her birthday & a Christmas.

Congratulations - enjoy this exciting time!

icklemssunshine1 · 12/06/2013 08:08

Oh & find the local NCT in your area - their nearly new sales are AMAZING!

MiaowTheCat · 12/06/2013 09:15

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Bejeena · 12/06/2013 10:54

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

We are also due our first in August and have bought or borrowed everything second hand apart from bedding and mattresses for the crib and carrycot/bassinet bit of pram which we have bought new. We have got a secondhand car seat and have just got a new cover for it. However the car seat was from friends so we know that it is safe. I refuse to believe that a new car seat is essential for each child. Also what is happening to all these used car seats then?

For me it is not so much the financial cost (although I do feel very smug about the fact that we have pretty much everything now and have only spent about 700? on it all) but more the impact on the environment. Where are all these things going when people have finished with them? It is not good for the planet producing so much.

marriedinwhiteagain · 12/06/2013 12:15

We had lots of second hand or loaned stuff. When we finished it was all in lovely condition. I called Social services and asked if they would like the cot, pram, travel cot, bed guard,etc. They were very snotty and said their clients could only have brand new due to Health and Safety. Beggared belief.

Suzieismyname · 12/06/2013 18:08

I think it's best to get a new carseat unless you can be certain the one you've been given has not been in an accident. I reused ours between DD1 and DD2.

Thinking ahead to when baby is walking I would get new 'main' shoes too. My DDs have worn hand me down sandals and crocs but they don't wear them all in the time.

whatshallwedo · 12/06/2013 18:18

Yanbu most of dd's things we bought are second hand apart from the moses basket, cotbed mattress and car seat.

Car boot sales are brilliant - you can literally find everything you could ever need for a baby for a fraction of the retail cost and still sell it on again once you have finished with it.

Our pram is a 2nd hand icandy, does this mean as someone posted earlier that I am accepted by the 'middle classes' or can they tell it wasn't bought new? Wink .

Dd has been bought some premium bonds as well as given money to go in an account for when she is older so that's always an idea.

sarahtigh · 12/06/2013 18:53

a used car seat is fine so long as no more than 5 years old and you are certain of its history like it was your sisters or best friends or cousins where you are sure they would not cover up an accident as you would know anyway

i would not like person above by used school/ main shoes or trainers if they wear them a lot but would have second hand wellies or jellies for beach

ParadiseChick · 12/06/2013 18:56

We were in the same boat for our second, either had it all from our first or second hand. Mil really wanted to get us something so we looked at reusable nappies and she got us a birth to potty set up. So useful!

KatieLily12 · 12/06/2013 19:03

We got most things second hand, then gifted at birth, then Christmas. I still get second hand. I nearly died when I saw how much stuff cost new!

They're in things such a short time and I preferred to spend money on things like baby swim etc which aren't cheap either.

Well done. So many people go bananas with the credit card when they find out their expecting.

AlwaysDancing1234 · 12/06/2013 20:12

I think it's very sensible. Although my DS grandparents actually seemed to compete over who was going to buy the "big stuff" such as cot, pram, car seat etc. which we now let them do as it seems to make them happy! As a result DS who is 5 has had a bike, scooter, sports lessons etc all if which we couldn't have afforded otherwise. Apparently "it's grandparents prerogative to spoil grand kids"!!