to be angry with my 18 year old DD for tweeting that our postcode is a 'bit of a shithole' (it really isn't) and......

[BeKindToYourKnees]

for posting on FB that she was 'unexpected' and that her 'single mother is on a low income'?

Why can't she post something along the lines of 'my mum worked her butt off to pay the mortgage so I could go to a great school, live in a fantastic area and (thanks to her support) go to a Russell Group Uni in September'?

claig I get what you're saying now....DD is playing the "I was brought up on da mean streets" card to garner sympathy as opposed to the reality of her upbringing in a rather lovely conservation area. Never mind that her mother had to consider all sorts of unsavoury alternatives to pay the mortgage

Have you had a knock on the head, dude ?

Exactly. She is advertising her hard up status, that she lives in a shit postcode (and is therefore insulting all the thousands of people who live there too) and she is also insulting all the other single mums on low incomes and she is advertising it to gain sympathy.

It is a cheap, lowdown trick and it is fake.

She should instead have teh courage to be proud of herself, her mum and where she lives along with all her neighbours who live in that great community too. But that won't gain her cheap sympathy.

This may out me ...

One of my college friends used to tell everyone that he was from a borough in London synonymous with rioting and (theoretically) quite a "real" place to live.

Of course, he lived in a rather gorgeous Georgian cottage, spent holidays and long weekends at the country cottage, and went to school far, far from the area.

But still, he was very 'hood. Oh yes. Like JLo was still "Jenny from the Hood".

Kids, eh? Bless 'em.

By the way, you are quite right about being kind to your knees. Mine are giving me terrible trouble as I get older.

I have to agree that the New Labour/ Tony Blair references seem a little at odds with the claim that it's a 'sign of the times'!

AView, the zeitgeist lasts for decades, it does not disappear overnight. The 13 years of Labour misrule still influence today's zeitgeist and will last for many more years too.

"By the way, you are quite right about being kind to your knees. Mine are giving me terrible trouble as I get older."

Mine too. What is the answer?

You are overthinking this. I thought my neighbourhood was a shithole when I was 18. It's one of the most sought after residential areas of Edinburgh :)

Kids don't think like adults. They don't think 'ooh there's a waitrose, and aren't the schools wonderful?'. They think fuck this boring hellhole.

Unfriend and chill out.

My daughter does this and we live on the nicest street in not the best part of a beautiful city in Scotland. She is forever lamenting how poor we are (I earn 30k per annum which doesn't actually go that far as a single Mum with one in ft preschool childcare and a 16 year old).
I get so riled that she doesn't realise where the converse, the petrol, the dance lessons etc come from. Then I remember what I was like!

MorrisZap Who is overthinking this? Did I mention Waitrose?

Oddly I half agree with Claig but thinking back, I was brought up in a tory household in a tory mindset (they were lovely, even though I'm a bit lefty) and at 18 it wouldn't have mattered a jot, I knew better, wanted better, could obviously have better, just by grumbling.

Backstory of me in brief: grew up in Devon, blissful life, I struggled with being a person so was pretty miserable, but I loved Devon. Moved up North to an area that is very lovely, aspirational to some (not me, no sea) and would have described it as a shithole. Had twitter been around, I'd have declared it a shithole at least twice a day.

I wasn't wrong exactly. Though where I ended up is nowhere near a shithole it isn't where I want to be.

As I've got older I've left bitterness behind, stopped blaming everyone else and started the wheels turning to get where I want to be (near kelp).

I do agree with claig in a small way, much as I don't want to. However, your DD is not being 'new labour' she's being a teen, so perhaps claig means that New Labour were like teens, rather than your dd being symptomatic of New Labour.

I think Morris is just saying that young persons have different priorities. We see: safe, charming, rural idyll. They see: booooooring!!!! Though I'm not sure that's what's going on with your young one.

Thanks, aldiwhore.

It is the old glass half full, half empty syndrome.

As you grew older you "left bitterness behind" and that freed you and empowered you and got you where you wanted to be.

It is viewing life positively, whatever your circumstances, that gives hope and empowerment.

"Woe is me" and affecting victimhood when you are in fact so much luckier than millions of others on the planet who do not do the same as you, is disempowering and demotivating and leads to dependency, which is what the Tories say that New Labour encourages.

If you strip away the hidden motive for saying to facebook viewers, who never asked, that I was "unwanted" then you see that that is a glass half full view of the world.

We are all lucky to be here, whether unwanted or not. We don't live in shit neighbourhoods compared to millions of other people on the planet.

We have to remain positive and be empowered and make things happen rather than bemoanining our fate.

Sympathy is no substance for positive thinking, empowerment and achievement.

"is no substitute", sorry

sorry "glass half empty view of the world"

I must start rereading my posts before hitting Send!

That Chinese baby in the sewer pipe affected every human being in the whole world.

It appears that he was unwanted. But the world saw him and saw a miracle.

He will never write on facebook that he was unwanted and lives in a shit neighbourhood, because it is a miracle that he is alive and it is the same for everyone of us.

I'm not sure "unexpected" is synonymous with saying"unwanted", claig.

There's a Sharon Olds poem, which is, now I'm thinking about it, kind of apt. The poem begins with a reflection on teenage self grumping about being a "planned" baby, and reflecting on the glamour of being an "unplanned", "unexpected" child. You see: young folks often find something/anything to get fixated on?

Anyway, the way "unexpected/unplanned" is conceptualised in that poem is anything but unwanted.

I'm still laughing a bit about knees' dd's post. A lot of young people do have a lovely sense of narrative drama. There's something very Victorian gothic (Jane Eyre, maybe?) about the teen/twenties imagination of self, maybe?

I don't know ... I'm just wittering, really.

This thread has gone a bit, ah

But anyway, BeKind, the others are right - she's being a bit daft, but she's also probably trying to validate her life experience so far as having a reasonable breath of experience - which to he fair, even in a nice area age probably has dealt with drugs/friends with issues/family on a tight budget patches (the vast majority of kids do) and package it up into 140 characters that others can easily understand.

Don't take it personally. And defriend!

Sorry, I got the word wrong.

claig my DD never posted that she was "unwanted".

Yes, I apologise, I got the word wrong.
I didn't recheck your OP before posting and got the impression that she was implying that, but I am wrong.

If my DD posted that her postcode was a shithole I'd be commenting asking when she'd be moving to a better one if it's not good enough.

I think your DD is only picking up the vibes and zeitgeist of society.

We are being encouraged to see ourselves as victims, as hard done by, as living in shitholes etc. and the danger of that is that it keeps us dependent and prevents us progressing because it is ultimately negative thinking and is demotivating.

If we change our perspective, we will change our prospects.

Was hoping for some perspective but feel worse than before.

But why do you feel bad.

It is obvious that she doesn't really believe it and she is playing to the gallery trying to get sympathy.

It is no big deal. She is smart. But ultimately it is not a good attitude because it is disempowering and as she gets older she will drop it and do what aldiwhore and everyon else does.