to be angry with my 18 year old DD for tweeting that our postcode is a 'bit of a shithole' (it really isn't) and......

[BeKindToYourKnees]

for posting on FB that she was 'unexpected' and that her 'single mother is on a low income'?

Why can't she post something along the lines of 'my mum worked her butt off to pay the mortgage so I could go to a great school, live in a fantastic area and (thanks to her support) go to a Russell Group Uni in September'?

Because she's 18.

She will grow out of it and one day thank you for everything you have done for her

But not yet

:)

That is a bit rude isn't it. I presume she'll have some financial assistance of you for university? Remind her of this, and that your 'low income' will not go on funding her degree if she has no respect for you!

I'd actually post what you've said as a reply.

Or take yourself off her facebook. Less hassle!

YANBU but she's a teenager, hopefully you will see a change in her attitude once she's had a year at uni.

Do remind her that, assuming she is getting student grants and loans, your low income is the major contributing factor to that, and you could quite easily be uncooperative in passing those details onto Student Finances!

YABU because if she thinks where she lives is a shithole, well you can laugh at her when she can't afford as good.

YABU to critise her wording 'unexpected' unless she was planned. You could reply, a wonderful unexpected surprise who turned into a teenager overnight!

YABU (depending on context) that she refers to you as a single mother on a low income. Again, partly she is a teen who probably thinks £20k per year is minimum wage, who will happy ignorantly state she'd never get out of bed for less than £60k (or wouldn't get in one).

YANBU to feel rattled by it. I was an utter knobber at 18, even though to the world I was rather 'with it' I just had an unrealistic outlook and that IS FINE, in some ways, you should be deluded as a teen as you should have fun, life will bite your arse so soon after that y'know, it's okay.

If your dd is anything like most teens, one day, when she's fully woman, scars and all she will thank you, she will understand, she will be extremely proud of you.

I only say this because I had a great young life, carefree, ignorant, blissfully fun, unappreciative. I only say this because I'm now late 30's and recently had a conversation (over wine) with my Mum and for the first time, truly understood.

I just thank goodness that there was no twitter or FB when I was 18. I am doubly glad that I wasn't linked to my mum. You're privvy to far TMI! I would have a chatt with your dd about her settings, I would step back from this knowledge, I would request that she's refrains from such blaze bullshit on twitter and restricts what you can see on FB.

catgirl you are absolutely right, I will bide my time

Because she is playing for the sympathy vote.

She has to play the "woe is me" card in order for people to support her.

That is part of the zetigeist and she has picked it up from society and New Labour, where being the "victim" elicits support and where being lucky elicts envy.

fiarylea and aldiwhore good advice re: unfriending on FB - TMI is exhausting

She will grow up in a couple of years. Do make sure you capture the comments and show her them again when she is settled with a family of her own

claig don't understand your woe is me/Zeitgeist/New Labour comment?

Anyfucker

"claig don't understand your woe is me/Zeitgeist/New Labour comment?"

To gain sympathy, she has to play at being hard up and hard done by, then people will admire her success and how it was won against the odds and against adversity.

If she said, I live in Kensington amd my mum is loaded, then she would get no sympathy and you would receive a ton of abuse and envy.

she would recetve, not you would receive

Bekindtoyourknees- you could always unfollow her so you don't have to see?

She is smart, knows the game and is playing it to the max in order to gain sympathy from her facebook viewers.

It is similar to Tony Blair, the New Labour public school Fettes' pupil, affecting a mockney accent.

It is a sign of the times.

"Your DD is wanting to be all edgy and cool and stuff."

Exactly and it is cool to pretend to be hard up, so that you can gain praise for success against the odds. It is edgy to pretend you were brought up on da mean streets rather than in a public school.

See I'd have to reply "some say unexpected, I prefer serendipity #someoneneedsacuddle" but then I'm a child

claig - I think Melvyn Bragg complained that when he arrived at Cambridge, he was beset by young public school boys utterly envious of his working class background, copying his every inflection. And I think we can trace more than a little mockney in the soundtrack of every "Swinging London" film there ever was.

Actually, I suspect it is more to do with the Romantic, revolutionary Spirit than New Labour. Isn't there some debate about "The Prelude" and its rhymes? Wordsworth had lots of lines rhyming but only if they were delivered in a heavily regional accent? But I may have dreamt that.

Mockney, and all its attendant fake prole/horny handed son of toil stuff is very annoying, though.

Anyway, as others have said, it is muchly annoying but reality will come soon enough.

I feel a bit sad, really. I'm thinking she's going to hit the cold, hard wall of The Mortgage all too soon.

Sort of sad. But also still a bit irritated on your behalf.

I like Fairylea's suggestion of tweeting what you said in your OP back as a response.

claig I think you've got a bit confused about the date. It's 2013, not 1999. David Cameron is the prime minister

#someoneneedsacuddle

But that is exactly what she is angling to get by playing the game.

I don't blame her, she is smart, she would do well in New Labour.

But there are people who really are poor and were brought up in terrible circumstances and suffered real deprivation and disadvantage, but they don't brag about it on facebook, because they are not playing a game, because for them it was real.

have you been drinking, claig ?

I've only had one glass. so far.

Champagne, not cider, because I refuse to play New Labour's game!