To take baby with chicken pox to my dads funeral?

[monkeynuts123]

Oh what a sodding nightmare! Baby is a clingy one at the best of times but has just come out in chicken pox spots and thursday is fathers funeral. Service is a 3 hour drive each way and am worried about him feeling ill and whinging all the way there and back and through service. Plus of course he is meant to be quarantined so I don't think I can take him with 30 people all there, who knows pregnant, old or what. Father was a right royal shit really and I've been in 2 miinds but can I take baby like this? We haven't got anyone to have him. I can't go on my own for big reasons. WWYD?

Don't go. You don't know who's immune I wasn't and had terrible scare when newly pregnant). And it's no fun for poorly baby.

Don't go and ignore any pressure from family.

Your baby comes first.

Miss it. Perhaps do something like planting a tree or something to remember him.

Don't go.

For the CP reason, and the fact you don't actually WANT to go.

Seriously, don't go. You and your son are your priority.

Don't go, I got chicken pox at 14 and it was hands down the worst illness I've ever had! No way would I put a poorly baby through a 6hr round trip and then run the risk of infecting anyone who comes close enough to touch (if your family is as grabby as mine that is). Yes, you may have to endure some negativity from family, but you at least have a genuine reason not to go.

Am in two minds really.

No you can't take an infectious baby to a funeral ( unless his spots are all scabbed and dry)
Nor is it fair to drag him on a long journey if he's itchy and grumpy.

but

It's your fathers one and only funeral.

I'm not sure I could not go.

Put your child first. Sounds like your Dad didn't. And don't feel bad about it. Its a perfectly acceptable reason.

i think you ought to go to your fathers funeral but have your partner stay outside with the baby. The younger they are generally speaking the less affected they are by chicken pox. And any feelings oe being under the weather ( if they happen at all )tend to be before spots start to appear and maybe a day os so after this

I would take it as a gift. Send apologies, stay at home.

You really shouldn't you know. Apart from it being unfair on the baby having to travel a long time when unwell, its selfish when you don't know the health status of others.

I was exposed in early pregnancy when I had no immunity and spent the whole pregnancy worrying about what effects it may have had. There are approx 10% of people according to my doctor who haven't had it and some of them will perhaps have compromised immune systems through underlying health conditions. It can be an extremely serious illness in adults so its very unfair to expose people to it.

Take it as a gift sent from heaven - a good excuse not to have to go! Present it to family that you are concerned for them/others at the funeral. How can they then ask you to come? They would know they were unreasonable.

Just to reiterate the shingles point-shingles can't be caught or activated by someone with chicken pox, but chicken pix can be caught from someone with shingles. And I know this isn't relevant specifically to this post, but to debunk a couple of other myths-breast feeding does not mean your baby won't get cp, little babies can scratch, and small babies can get it badly. Based on my three month old.

Don't go. It's not fair on your baby, yourself, or people with already compromised immune systems.

My biological father is nothing short of an absolute prick, and I wouldn't give 2 shits about his funeral. So if you don't really want to go anyways, I can't see why you would force yourself to.

I wouldn't put a sick baby through 6 hours in a car. You could ask your GP and perhaps they would advise against that (if it helps with the family pressure to be officially unable to IYSWIM).

Another vote against here. You simply can't take a baby in that state. First of all, it's unfair on the baby, but also to everyone else there, due to aforementioned health risks to others.

Is it at all possible that you could leave the baby with your partner and find a supportive friend/relative to come with you to the funeral?

You cannot take an infectious child to a funeral.
Even if you asked everyone there is it ok, some people are v ignorant about CP, very blasise about it - and may get it in a nasty way....

Dont go and do not put child through it.

If you were not keen on going....best excuse really!

Re: shingles and older people - I don't think this is right - it's the opposite - coming into contact with an infected child PROTECTS against shingles - it's why the shingles rate has gone up in the USA as very few kids get chicken pox due to vaccination - but yabu to take an ill child on a 3 hour car ride quite aside from risks of infecting other people.

I've had shingles. You don't get shingles from chicken pox. However, if a person hasn't had chicken pox they can catch chicken pox from your baby, and older people tend to suffer more severely when they catch chicken pox.

Really sorry to hear about your dilemma.
Maybe think of it this way.
Your baby VS pressure from family for Dad that wasn't particularly nice.
I think in this situation your baby wins OP. 3 hour journey each way is really long esp if she's not well, and was he nice enough for you to warrant putting your ill baby through that ? doesn't sounds like it.

Put the baby First.

I dont think you CAN go really, not fair on baby and not fair on old people (lets face it funerals are full of old people) who might be less immune

so sorry

Stay at home and say goodbye in your own way, whatever that might be. You don't have to be at the funeral to do that.

I think EITHER of those are EXCELLENT reasons not to go, and you have them both. Stay home and look after your child.