To be shocked by the use of this word

[1Veryhungrycaterpillar]

My MIL was just telling me what she got up to at weekend and apparently she bumped into someone out with their 'Mongol' daughter or 'whatever I like to call them' I have pulled her up on this before when she told me the story of when her DD had mumps and everyone who looked into the pram felt sorry for her as they thought she had a Mongol daughter. Now I appreciate times have changed and certain words used to be acceptable but surely I have the right to insist they are not used around my children??

Yes YANBU

but I believe it used to be acceptable - is she very elderly?

YANBU.

Her age is no excuse, I'm sure she knows perfectly well that this is no longer an acceptable term.

She's late sixties. What concerns me the most is that it is not acceptable now (quite rightly) and I'd hate one of my DCs to repeat it, it's so vile

YANBU

Age isn't really an excuse either

My 96 year old grandmother used to say stuff like 'darkies' and 'mongols'. Once it was pointed out to her that times change and these words weren't acceptable any more , she stopped using them.

It sounds like she knows you find it unacceptable, else she wouldn't have said 'or whatever you want to call them'. Maybe if you politely point out that if your children repeat her old-fashioned word they will be thought of as being deliberately rude and insulting it might get the message through to her? People may make allowances for her in her late 60s but they won't for younger people.

YANBU but i don't think you're going to change her if you've explained it to her before.
You can tell her not to use those words around your DC but you also need to explain to the DC that Granny is a bit silly and old fashioned and doesn't mean to be offensive.

As I said on another thread, mong is the insult du jour among teens.

An elderly relative used to say 'darky'. He thought it was a polite term and had been taught not to say the n word.

I think 'mongol' is a little different as it is in old medical text books.

Anyway, she should follow your wishes, once you have made them clear that is.

Late sixties is really not old. Age is not an excuse in this case.

Ricky Gervais is oh so fond of using the term 'mong'

But obviously he means it the 'non offensive' sense

I read the other thread, didn't she also use the word p**i to desccribe an Indian person.

I wouldnt be able to stomach being around this woman. She is racist and now disablist as well. I'm far from a PC gawn mad type but this woman is truly obnoxious. I would be telling your dp he can see her alone.

You can't have this type of arsehole around your dc. You really can't.

MY mother is 93 and knows better than that, so age is no excuse.

Could she not use the child's name?
"I bumped into Mrs X with Lucinda' is surely the way to go.

I'll ask her not to use it in front of my kids, she'd never swear off a blue streak in front of them and IMO this is just as bad if not worse I just hate the sound of it

X post. The I wasn't the OP of the other thread, my MIL doesn't say 'Paki' that I know of so that's something!

Ps Ricky Gervais is a prick IMO Squoosh

PC language winds lots of the older generation up. They may not have a racist or disablist bone in their bodies, my DM doesn't.

But many older people do not want to use the modern terms because they do not want to be told what to do by the London centric, liberal elite.

'But many older people do not want to use the modern terms because they do not want to be told what to do by the London centric, liberal elite.'

Using the word 'mongol' is sticking two fingers up to the London centric liberal elite? I don't think so.

star I regularly pull my horrifically racist FIL up about his language. He does it because he is a racist prick and admittedly to wind me up. It has nothing to do with not wanting to be told what to do by a London-centric liberal elite. We live in Edinburgh and are working-class.

My mother is 70 in August, and there's no way she'd refer to someone as a mongol. Age is a pathetic excuse. You don't even have to be that well read/worldy to know it's not acceptible now.

I think the way that older people are challenged about their language is important. If you just say 'you can't say that anymore' without explaining why, then it tends to entrench the language they use as they feel they are being 'got at' and that the 'new' words are just a fashion fad.

If you explain that words like paki, nigger and mogol are used in a hateful way, that it is hurtful to the people on the recieving end and a bit of context, it becomes easier to get a bit of change.

As a side issue, why do people feel the need to use euphamisms like 'the n-word' or p*? it is pretty clear that we are having a sober discussion and aren't bandying these words about as insults or using them gratuitously?

My Dad frequently asks which of DD's friends is staying by asking "is that the Paki?" He is 86 and housebound so at least no one else hears him.

Compos some people just prefer not go use them at all. Me included