To think I have the most ridiculous MIL of them all?

[Dannilion]

This is kind of lighthearted/ I want to hear about others experiences too.

My MIL is the most oppositional woman on the planet when it comes to my opinions. Whenever I'm in a room with her and I'm having a conversation with someone else she always jumps in, starts shouting that I'm wrong and then goes off on one.

Some gems from the past few weeks.

Insisting that newborn DD does not need a car seat, it isn't illegal and no-one could stop me from driving with her on my lap.

Saying its perfectly acceptable to trick your partner into having children with you by lying about contraception because "you know they're probably just scared".

Cheating in a marriage isn't really that big an issue and certainly not worth losing trust over.

Please... Tell me I'm not alone with this nonsense!

@ "it's a plant!"

FriskyHenderson I just came on to ask the same thing!

Did you get it sorted OP?

Oh yes - forgot about the bank issue.

The bank issue is still ongoing, PIL's still vehemently deny any wrongdoing and Santander is in deep dodo because they opened a bank account without any i.d.

Was gonna write about that on this thread but there's nothing lighthearted about it, they genuinely are the most self absorbed twats on the planet!

Where to begin.

My MIL when told of my pregnancy with ds1, "I don't want to know about that woman or her child". We had been married 5 years.

Told me just last weekend that her ds, my dh, was her "earth, moon and stars and she would have done anything for him," apparently not including bringing him and his sister up though, but legging it with husband 3 instead.

Slagging off her other children/their partners too me. I refuse to engage because its not fair and they are all lovely.

When announcing our (unplanned) pregnancy with DC3, MIL's first response was "I can't have six grandchildren" Of course, because it's all about you. She has subsequently denied all knowledge of ever saying this.

Am jealous of all the force feeding though. In 16 years I have been invited to her house twice for a meal. One was a chinese takeaway and the other an M&S buffet. And now that I am gluten free due to coeliac disease I have no chance. One time we were there over lunchtime (and it was a planned visit) she got food out for the DC and DH and said to me "I haven't got anything you can eat" I said that some ham or salad without the bread would be fine, but she said she had used it all up in the sandwiches already , so I had to go hungry until we could leave and I could grab something on the way home. I now avoid their house as much as possible. Talk about feeling unwelcome.

She is also pathologically clean and tidy and wanders round our house with a cat's bum face. In fact she usually brings scruffy clothes to change into whilst she is here and then puts her good clobber on again for going home. And this when just babysitting; not helping in the garden or with decorating or anything. And she used to change DS1 into clothes she had bought for him when he visited, and change him back again. She would also send our spare clothes back washed and ironed, even if he hadn't worn them (and why would he when she had her own clothes for him). Thankfully she refuses to have the kids now there are three of them.

And she had a massive strop at DH when he asked her to step back and let me change baby DD who had exploded in her nappy and was covered in poo from neck to feet inside her babygro. MiL was leaning over her cooing on the changing mat whilst I was trying to free her from the mess and was in the way so DH politely asjed her to give me some space. She bridled and then refused to speak to either of us for the rest of the visit.

God, there are more; I could write a bloody book!

Dodo? Doodoo. Shit. Whatever.

MIL will take a while to forgive us for this 'accusatory insult'. I wish that meant she would stop coming to visit.

Oh and my own DM died and my MIL never said a word, nothing at all...people can be very -callous- strange

Scruffy clothes? Wow. That trumps mine hands down!

If you manage to keep a straight face whilst this is happening you should really consider a career in acting.

Oh lord, just remembered after reading about your rabbit littleprincess; after my second miscarriage she said she had though we had announced it "too soon" and then when we told them about being pregnant with DD a few months later, she said she would rather wait a few weeks before congratulating me and to tell her again once we were sure about this one [sock] in equal measure.

She really is quite toxic, isn't she?

Which reminds me: when her BIL died and left a VERY large sum in out of date fivers in a carrier bag to her, rinsing it through our bank account "because it's too exposed in the Post Office and I don't want the neighbours knowing".

Thanks for breaching the MLR!

I just let her get on with it Dannilion; I used to get wound up by it, but life is too short!

thankfully we don't see them as often as we used to. She also makes a point of being all "anytime you need us..." then if I call and ask, there is always a reason why they can't, or we are cancelled in favour of DBiL after making arrangements with us, or they have first dibs. So, would you like to come for Christmas is answered with a "We'll see what DBiL is doing first" DH seems to just shrug it off, but I feel bad on his behalf

Mine is good. I like her, and we do have a wee laugh at what she says. The best comment was when she said my OH was losing his hair because of all the sex and that it was my fault

My MIL is lovely

My own mother on the other hand told me I was still fat 5 days after giving birth!

I hate mine and she hates me but has to pretend she doesn't now or she won't get to see her precious son .

She once told people I had died and DH was desperate for her to move him and look after him and the DDs. She does have a tendancy to carry on like DH is her husband (she's divorced).

I dont have a MIL (both DH's parents died a few years back). My DF's wife though, despite being a lovely lady, is pretty bonkers!
The best she came out with 'the Government should do something about them Uranians coming and taking all the jobs"!!
She didnt even cotton on when the rest of the family agreed with her saying, 'yes, they come here in their fancy spaceships......'

The others one was she swore liquid had no calories - so as long as you only drank you could not put on any weight. Milkshakes anyone??

My MIL is not horrible (some of yours sound like horrors), but she is a giant PITA.

There are too many stories to choose from. Including:

• when I was 14 weeks pg and my DM had bought some baby clothes. MIL started crying and telling me I had to take them back as it was bad luck and I'd lose the baby.
• if you argue a point with her or question her behaviour, she accuses you of being drunk.
• My DD had a heart murmur when she was born and a ventricle 'issue'. All gone by the time she was 6 months. MIL told me last week that there must still be a problem with DD's heart as she had heard a whoosh and it must have been DD's heart! Thanks.

My PIL very kindly looking after the children whilst dh and I were away for the weekend at a wedding ( abroard ) Guest room all nicely made up, fresh sheets, fresh towels etc. When we got back from three nights away bed hadn't been slept in ! She decided to sleep in my and DH's bed !?

Iwilldoit - I have exactly the same experience - absolutely no acknowledgment of my dm's death - DH and I have been together 24 years and she knew my mum.

My ex's mother complained that I was a foreigner and was on benefits (as it happens, I wasn't on anything apart from CB) and I should go back to where she came from.

Apparently, my shower gel was poisonous. She once saw it, screamed and chucked it out the window.

She ordered us to chop down the tree as it was too pointy

She told us that she potty trained ex at 6 months and that as DD2 was 2.5, I should see a doctor

She poured olive oil into the formula s that we couldn't use it for dd1

She threw out all the garlic in the fridge and then complained when we asked her to pay for some more. Tis confirmed my suspicion that she was a real life vampire.

She told me she was allergic to chicken, rice, mashed potato (but not boiled potato....), cauliflower and apples. We decided to save a battle and didn't serve them at all as I was very cautious.

She told me to get rid of the hamster because it looked at her funny.

She told me she knew I was 'Polish scum' and I couldn't 'pretend because when yer dirt, it's hard to hide'.

Are you lot related to me?
I used to put with all this crap from my own mother.

An ex beat me up. She just happened to pop in when the police were tere taking him away. She said to me, infront of ex and police, what did i expect when i didnt listen to him. next time it should be harder to knock some sense into me. Police told her to get out.

Ranting about the foreigners taking all the houses and jobs.. She doesnt care that her grandchildren are mixed race.

People on benefits are lazy scroungers, who are all criminals. Doesnt like it when you point out that she has never done a legal days work in her life.
Talking of which the utter contempt she has for criminals, forgetting her record spans over 40 years with lots of daily arrests and several prison sentences.

the selective amnesia. likes to forget about her lack of anything. Forgets what she did when she was pregnant, and lectures others for doing far less becuase it isnt the done thing.

she claimed to be diabetic.. but somehow manages to eat chocolate, cream cakes, coke etc.. oh, but cannot eat anything becuase everything makes her sick. All the crisps, sweets etc are eaten by her bloke. Doesnt matter the empty packets are always stashed where she sits, and she is the size of a mansion. Tells anyone who will listen, how she has lost x amount of stones that week.

She has never, ever stepped foot in this house. Been here over 10 years, but she will tell everyone what a hovel I live in. Well it must be true, when she went to where i was with ex the place was a mess (forgetting to mention hed smashed up the place with me/his fists).

She called social services to tell them i was a nasty, horrible and evil parent. I was very lazy and putting my children and unborn child at severe risk. I was breastfeeding, and this is only done by poor lazy people. If i cared, i would be formula feeding. i was also buying things when i was pregnant for the unborn far too soon as this shouldnt be done until the last month of pregnancy. I also didnt care about the kids because i had a cat and was putting them at serious risk.. The poor woman from social services was really appologetic but calls had to be investigated, and the person was calling them several times a day with wild concerns. Maybe i could think who it was, bitter ex partner, ex mate or mil and take steps to stop the harassment.

Theres loads more. Dont have contact anymore with her though.

I suddenly feel like I gained a bunch of sisters...

I'm an unnatural freak for breastfeeding - it's unnatural and will kill the baby.
I'm disgusting and unhygienic for using cloth nappies
I'm a hippy for baby wearing
I'm an attempted murderer for co sleeping.
I'm an ungrateful f*ing bitch for vomiting after trying to eat at her house - she intentionally put in ingredients I was allergic to!!!
I'm pathetic and a mental case for getting upset when she said I deserved to be raped
I'm a nasty piece of work for refusing food at hers - she's poisoned me before and I have HG again!
I must have tricked DH into baby #2, because she told him she didn't want more grandchildren, and she's the boss.
Apparently, my (admittedly well off) parents should give her loans interest free, because I'm a tight arse for refusing to find her 40-a-day, litre of rum a day and gambling habit.
I should stop my parents seeing DD because they'll spoil her by giving her stuff (they go a tad overboard at birthdays, but otherwise it's stuff like making sure they have her fave foods in or taking her to the park or shock playing with my old train set etc with her!)

And that's the milder stuff that doesn't need epic back story!!!

I love a crazy MIL thread, because I can always join in, and never have to repeat my material! Some of it is funny, some not so much.

My MIL lives in the 19th century, or certainly some time when a good wife did not voice any disagreement with her husband. When choosing godparents for DD's christening, DH wanted his sister and his stupid best mate. The best mate is the guy who didn't choose DH as his best man at his wedding, even though DH insisted that this guy had to be his best man! I said no, his sister and my brother. Both sides of the family, right? This discussion took place in front of MIL.

The next day, she phoned me up. She said, "I'm very fond of you, but I DO NOT want to hear that again!" WTF? She meant that she did not want to hear me disagreeing with her son ever again! It was weird and actually a bit chilling. I didn't bother pointing out that we're actually in the 21st century. Didn't really see any point!