To think I have the most ridiculous MIL of them all?

[Dannilion]

This is kind of lighthearted/ I want to hear about others experiences too.

My MIL is the most oppositional woman on the planet when it comes to my opinions. Whenever I'm in a room with her and I'm having a conversation with someone else she always jumps in, starts shouting that I'm wrong and then goes off on one.

Some gems from the past few weeks.

Insisting that newborn DD does not need a car seat, it isn't illegal and no-one could stop me from driving with her on my lap.

Saying its perfectly acceptable to trick your partner into having children with you by lying about contraception because "you know they're probably just scared".

Cheating in a marriage isn't really that big an issue and certainly not worth losing trust over.

Please... Tell me I'm not alone with this nonsense!

My newborn has reflux:

"Don't make him eat. Maybe he isnt hungry. Maybe he will be a Skinny Minny".

DMIL lost her youngest child and only daughter to an eating disoder.

My MIL is the BEST at putting things together and will actually try to pull a screwdriver out of your hand if you try. She ALWAYS breaks whatever she's trying to fix but she ALWAYS reckons she'll do it better than me.

MIL was the best, loveliest woman ever, Step MIL on the other hand ........
Putting DD in nursery 2 mornings a week would emotionally damage her & I went back to work ft because I'm selfish (kids were 8&12, dh HAD to go part time, medical issues) Luckily the two women met at a family wedding & MIL tore a strip off Step MIL when she started on at me

Both my pils are nightmares tbh! With me and with DH. Every time DH is ill (he has crohns so pretty often) MIL phones him up and has a go at him for it demanding to know why he hasn't got himself a doctors appointment every single time (it's a life long condition, there is no point). Apparently he is not helping himself.

FIL is a complete nightmare who cannot ever accept he may be incorrect about anything. For example the most recent was his belief that no-one has or ever will win an employment lawsuit against a big company, ever! He then tries to bully you into accepting he is right by saying 'that's enough heffa' and not allowing another word to be said about it. Stupid little man!!

My MIL drives me crazy with the nonsense that she comes out with as well as bad habits.

Her 'helpful advice'-

Give 2 week old baby camamile tea for colic.
Put baby flat on his back all the time, so he won't get a flat head
Don't give the baby tummy time, he WILL die. She actually cried.
Babies can eat salty food, it's fine. (Please note that MIL puts about a cup full of salt in her food)
You must get children baptised in case anything will happen will happen to them.
Force children to eat even if they don't want it.
Children get ill from not wearing a hat/having cold feet/not wearing 3 layers of clothing.
Herbal tea heals everything.
You're doing everything wrong with your children.
Her religion is only thing that's right.
She's too old/travel sick to drive to see grandchildren although she has gone 2 coach 'holidays'.

So many more but that's what comes to mind. A 'conversation' with her goes like this-

Her- Dontbugme, are you hungry?
Me- No, thank you. I'm not hungry?
Her- Are you sure? Maybe yogurt?
Me- No, thank you.
Her- cake? Soup? Bread? Sandwich?
Me- No, thank you.
Her- Tea? Coffee? Grapes? Anything?
Me- No, thank you.
Her- another choice of 10 foods?

Repeat every 10 minutes over 4 days. Arrgghh.

She says it hurts her heart when I don't eat. When I do, she asks if I want to eat another 50 billion foods whilst I'm eating.
She is OBSESSED with food. I've never seen anything like it.

She's an amateur I'm afraid, Dontbugme. My aunt used to be obsessed with feeding up people but eventually gave up trying to persuade them - she'd just throw food at people. (eg you were just sitting there and a Mars bar or two landed in your lap.)

Now that was really hard going.

Come to think of it, my dad does like to offer a biscuit\crisps\cheese on toast to anyone who crosses the threshold, but he doesn't get offended if your not hungry.

I'm sorry it's happening to you all too but I'm glad I'm not alone in this insanity!

When we announced my pregnancy with DD (her only grandchild) she didn't so much as fake a polite smile, just said 'I'll get excited when she's born, a lot of bad things could happen between now and then'.

OP please dont ever let her take your dcs in her car! She is mad!

MIL is a nice woman, tbh, but comes from quite a rough family, and said to me ever so calmly once "if you and DH spkit up and you decide to move away with DD , I would have to murder you". No humour in her voice or anything. Chilling.

My MiL is a complete PITA, but what really winds me up is that she is a total drama queen who has to turn everything round to how it's affecting her.

We lost a baby at 36 weeks several years ago - everything was about how upset she was and how she would be able to cope with her loss. No offer of practical help, no support, no enquiries as to how we were. It was all about her

My uncle died a few years ago. MiL only met him a couple of times. She was supposed to look after my children while we were at his funeral. On the morning of the funeral she decided she was 'far too upset for his wife' to look after them. FiL couldn't as he had to 'comfort' her

SiL is currently going through a very messy divorce - again, everything is about how upset MiL is, how worried she is. No real help or support for SiL.

Her neighbour had a heart attack - massive drama about how upset she was for neighbour and how worried she was, but nothing useful or helpful for said neighbour's wife and 2 young children

Everyone ends up pandering to her, so the person who is actually suffering is left to their own devices while MiL has a fit of the vapours and it really enrages me. She can't just wind her neck in and stop being the centre of attention for 5 bloody minutes

I have very little to do with her these days, DH deals with her, but she still manages to piss me off almost weekly

My Aunt goes by the name "The Daily Mail". Enough said

Haha at the throwing food! MIL is the opposite. She is obsessed with food (or lack of) to the point of me being certain she has an eating disorder. She is constantly trying to put everyone else on a diet. She'll come round to visit and sit there calling me a glutton if I have 'too much' food in the cupboards.

Once she cooked us dinner and served up portions that a 4 year old would still be hungry from. She then made the 'kids' sit in the lounge whilst her, FIL, SIL & BIL sat at the table drinking wine etc. Wouldn't have bat an eyelid, but DH and I were the 'kids' and we are well into adulthood...

Me! Me!

Throwing out half the fridge "because it smelt of foreigners". No, that's garlic.

Going into a strop when I bought milk and bread on a Sunday because "it's against the law".

Calling me a liar at MY table with MY food in her mouth.

The last one provoked the joint response from BIL, SIL, DW and me that she could say goodbye to the GCs if it happened again.

Actually, this was all the year FIL died. Not a good death or a short one. Grief does funny things.

Dps father died last month.

Mil wanted a big funeral but bil pointed out that fil would have hated that.

So she threw a massive sulk and insisted on only direct family at the service. She decided when we were halfway down the country with the kids that she 'was too upset' to have children there, children I should point out that several days earlier she had insisted 'had' to attend, so we had to turn around and come home and dp had to go on his own. His siblings weren't allowed partners either and fils siblings weren't allowed at the service.

For years I have had a sneaking suspicion that my Xmas pressies from my MIL were perhaps not first intended for me. This year she gave me another scarf, I don't do scarves (only for MNetting duties ).
It was nice, I thanked her, commented on the colours and she very vaguely agreed.
Later that day I was talking to my SIL about present buying and how I tend to buy things for people that I like she said she did the same thing, always buying her. Mum scarves...hmmm...

Next time I saw SIL without MIL, I wore the scarf and yes I was right!
Oh and eating together is a nightmare as I'm an evil vegetarian !!! I suppose you don't want any ham, do you? ... It's only been 12 years that she has known me and I haven't eaten meat in 20

Cosie that made me laugh out loud in the office. Freakin' hilariously bizarre. Better do some work now

oh said mil stopped to put his socks back on at least 10 times insisting that he was just stubborn.

And she didn't see the irony of her statement?

My MIL once told me and DH off - in a big, loud way (it is only ever a big, loud way...) - for sending DSD to bed with just two bites of the lentil soup that she'd refused to eat. DSD was 4.5 at the time, and going through a big, "I don't like it, now what's for pudding" phase. DH and I had hit our limit with it and decided to be firm about telling DSD "there is nothing else for tea". We told DSD and MIL that DSD could not have an apple instead, and sent DSD off to bed. MIL was practically in tears, wailed about how horrible we were, how she grew up "with nothing", and how "if that little girl wakes up in the middle of the night hungry, I am giving her a piece of toast ::sob::". DSD slept straight through the night and happily ate her breakfast the next day.

Approximately three weeks later, MIL took DSD out for lunch. DSD ordered a sausage roll, picked as usual, and promptly told MIL, "I don't like it, I want some cake." All of a sudden, MIL started to tell DSD "There is nothing else for lunch/tea".

Taking sneaking DS2 into the living room during his 1st birthday party whilst everyone else was in the garden and opening the presents that I had bought him. Had the cheek to act all shocked and upset when thanks to my sisters vigilance I caught her and whisked both child and half opened present off her.

And a million other sneaky, undermining, underhand manoeuvres.

She seemed so nice at first.

I am a MIL and on behalf of all other MILs I would like to apologise.

Are there any mils about? Do you know you are doing this? Is it on purpose? When did you change from normal woman to freak in m&s clothing? Is it really only mothers of boys where this occurs? Why has noone done research into this? (Research every other silly phenomenon...)

I admit to wearing M&S. I am also a bit of a freak. I don't care. I would shop in ...er...Monsoon (?) if you lot hadn't stolen my sons. Clearly you don't feed them properly and despite you my grand children seem healthy and happy.

Damn you, you DILs of Satan. Damn you for making my sons happy but mainly for being younger and prettier and just better than me.

OP did you clear up the bank issue?

Cailin