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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to know if dp's name is on the birth certificate of a child that isn't his?

37 replies

LittleLisa78 · 09/06/2013 21:49

Dp's exW changed her name by deed poll to new boyfriends name after they split. She was pregnant and split with new boyfriend just after the birth. Baby was given dp's surname and his exW has now reverted to that name too. Baby is one million percent not dp's but I think he needs to make sure she didn't put him on the birth certificate as it could cause issues in the future. DP has done nothing about it. AIBU?

OP posts:
Liara · 09/06/2013 21:51

What issues could it cause? Can she just name him on the birth certificate if he is not there and they are not married? Or are they still legally married?

CustardOmlet · 09/06/2013 21:51

Were they still married when the baby was born?

NarkyNamechanger · 09/06/2013 21:52

Just order a copy then, it's very simple to do.

Were they divorced?

HollyBerryBush · 09/06/2013 21:54

If she was married then the child is legally presumed a child of the marriage and she might have put his name on the certificate.

If they were divorced he would have needed to be present.

Why don't you get a copy - its about £12 online.

I really don't know what you can do about it though - is she trying to claim any money from him?

Original poster
LittleLisa78 · 09/06/2013 21:54

Yes still legally married. Could cause the issue that the child grows up thinking he's her father as she doesn't have contact with her actual father

OP posts:
Original poster
LittleLisa78 · 09/06/2013 21:56

Don't think we can get a copy as don't know the child's specific date of birth

OP posts:
EleanorHandbasket · 09/06/2013 21:57

Considering he doesn't have any contact with his actual children I can't see what possible difference one more makes...

NarkyNamechanger · 09/06/2013 21:58

You only need a rough idea

HollyBerryBush · 09/06/2013 21:58

It's really your DPs problem to sort out - divorce for example. That would be my primary concern if I were cohabiting with a married man - especially if there isn't a judicial separation (do they still call them that?) and no live will made either. Accidents happen and she'd be his next of kin and inherit his estate. People can be so tarty with paperwork

So more things to worry about in the immediate future.

BridgetBidet · 09/06/2013 21:59

If they are still legally married then he is automatically assumed to be the father legally unless he can prove otherwise.

I would suggest he contacts her to have a word.

HollyBerryBush · 09/06/2013 22:00

*tardy not tarty!

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 09/06/2013 22:06

Presumably the exW could claim maintenance from OPs dp?

EleanorHandbasket · 09/06/2013 22:10

Nope. All he has to say is that the child isn't his. She could make him take a dna test but what would be the point?

HollyBerryBush · 09/06/2013 22:12

Am I missing something - where does it say there are previous children?

meditrina · 09/06/2013 22:13

As they were still married at the time of birth, she could have put him on the BC as the child would be presumed to be a child of the marriage and a spouse does not have to be present for the registration.

But if she was still with the other man at the time of the birth, she may well not have done so.

Without a date and place of birth and registration (place of birth, or by declaration from where the mother was living at the time) I don't see how you can go about finding out though.

I doubt she can pursue a maintenance claim effectively though. For if she started one, your DO could repudiate the DC and prove it by DNA. Not great from the DC's pov, but at least there has been no real relationship between the two.

EleanorHandbasket · 09/06/2013 22:14

Ops other threads, Holly.

EleanorHandbasket · 09/06/2013 22:14

Ops other threads, Holly.

EleanorHandbasket · 09/06/2013 22:14

Whoops.

HollyBerryBush · 09/06/2013 22:17

Ah ok - just looked myself.

T'is not a happy relationship you are in Op - I'd have far bigger concerns that whether he is named as a childs father.

sleeton · 09/06/2013 22:20

How do you know the OP's DP has children EleanorHandbasket ? "Considering he doesn't have any contact with his actual children I can't see what possible difference one more makes..."

ivykaty44 · 09/06/2013 22:21

You can order a copy of the birth certificate if the baby is over one year old from the gro ring 0300 123 1837 it will cost you more if you don't have reference numbers

Or order from local register office if you know where child is registered

You can order birth death and marriage certificates for other people as they are public records

sleeton · 09/06/2013 22:27

crosspost! ooops!

Original poster
LittleLisa78 · 09/06/2013 22:28

Only know child and mother's name, year and month of birth and could take an educated guess at place of birth - would this be enough to order a certificate?

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 09/06/2013 22:28

Yes but it will cost more

Bobyan · 09/06/2013 22:30

Thinking back to all the other stuff you have posted about your DP, I think you have much bigger things to worry about than whether his name is on a birth certificate.

Sleeton this is one of many threads about similar subjects, posted by the OP.