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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have been hoiking my judgy pants up over this?

52 replies

Itsnotahoover · 09/06/2013 19:33

Went to a concert last night and caught the late bus back to the hotel. At one stop, a young couple got on with their four children, aged from about 9 months to 4 years at a guess. They were all wearing short sleeves and the baby that was being carried was screaming and shivering to the point of teeth chattering as it had dropped bloody cold by that point. Both parents seemed intoxicated, and the mother staggered and nearly dropped the baby as she went to sit down.

I'm not normally one to judge, as I have no idea of the circumstances surrounding this incident, but I can't think of a situation where it is ever appropriate to have 4 small children on a bus at 1am, shivering and crying, whilst the parents are drunk! It played on my mind after they'd got off. WIU to judge?

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 09/06/2013 19:36

Could have been coming back from a wedding or similar?

Original poster
Itsnotahoover · 09/06/2013 19:41

Yes I thought that, and I have no issue with the kids being on a bus late at night when they are coming home from something like that; it was the fact they were freezing cold and the parents appeared pissed that concerned me. The mother certainly was staggering whilst carrying the baby and it just played on my mind that she nearly dropped him once during the 5 minutes the were on the bus, yet they'd got to get them all home and into bed in one piece yet.

OP posts:
MissStrawberry · 09/06/2013 19:42

Did you offer to help them?
Did you mention your concerns to the bus driver?

Original poster
Itsnotahoover · 09/06/2013 19:45

No because we were sat at the very back of the bus and they got on and sat in the buggy area at the front. A lady at the front offered her cardi for the baby and was refused. What could the bus driver have done?

OP posts:
MissStrawberry · 09/06/2013 19:48

I am sure there are procedures for the driver to follow should a vulnerable child get on his/her bus.

OwlinaTree · 09/06/2013 20:10

It was a lovely day yesterday. They maybe didn't think about warm clothes as it would have been so nice when they left the house. The drunkness is a slight worry but it does have an increased effect in the sunshine! They might have not had that much to drink. Children do get tired and fractious at the end of a long day.

What else could they do? It doesn't sound like they were on this bus for long so presumably this was the quickest way to get home over a distance they could have walked in the daytime?

Original poster
Itsnotahoover · 09/06/2013 20:41

Ok I was obviously being unreasonable :)

OP posts:
TheCutOfYourJib · 09/06/2013 20:45

Pissed parents, 1 am, freezing cold baby. Yanbu but this is mn there is always some weak excuse for this.
You couldn't really have done anything more than the lady who offered her cardigan.
Bloody disgusting behaviour and I would have judged away too.

mrsjay · 09/06/2013 20:46

they were probably at a BBQ or something and got caught out should have taken a cardi for the kids though,

Southeastdweller · 09/06/2013 20:48

Of course YANBU.

These parents should be ashamed of themselves.

ladymariner · 09/06/2013 20:54

YANBU. At 1am those children should have been in bed, not being dragged about freezing cold and worn out, because the parents wanted to get pissed. Can't believe people are making excuses for them!

PlateSpinningAtAllTimes · 09/06/2013 20:56

1am- as others have said, could have been at a family gathering/wedding/BBQ etc.
Cold- again, they may not have expected to be out so late/temp to drop (I'm often failing to pack the correct items for the weather myself)
Both parents pissed - inexcuseable. So YANBU - I'd have judged too.

Floggingmolly · 09/06/2013 20:56

You're not being unreasonable, I'd have judged too. But someone will always show up on these threads to ask "did you offer to help"???
"What did you actually do for these poor people to make their lives easier"??? Hmm

PlateSpinningAtAllTimes · 09/06/2013 20:57

And they should have accepted the lady's offer of a cardie.

TheCutOfYourJib · 09/06/2013 20:59

Yes op you should have paid for a taxi for them, warmer and quicker. Tsk.

VerySmallSqueak · 09/06/2013 21:02

At this time of year with current weather you need to take a cardi or something for a bus journey with children in case of weather change imo. If you haven't got them,go home earlier before it's even colder.
One parent should have been capable with such little children.

Can't see a good excuse here.

mrsjay · 09/06/2013 21:02

oh yes sorry YANBU about them being pissed though it really isn't on I would have tutted and judged, if you are going to be drinking dont get on the bloody bus get a taxi or better still dont get so drunk ,

rainbowfeet · 09/06/2013 21:02

I'd have been concerned & judgey too!! Shock

But what option did you have at that particular point?? Say something & risk a mouthful of abuse that doesn't help the children who have been saddled with such crap parents!! Fingers crossed it was a one off & other than that occasion the children are otherwise well looked after??!! Hmm Difficult situation op

MyLittleDiva · 09/06/2013 21:04

Do some of you really think it is ok for a mother and father both to be pissed in charge of four very young children at 1am? Really? I am shocked.

imademarion · 09/06/2013 21:04

No you are not remotely U.

Cannot imagine any scenario where this appalling parenting would be acceptable, whether one-off or regular occurrence.

Choosing to be pissed in charge of children, particularly on busses in the middle of the night, is deliberately endangering the very beings whom you should protect.

I feel sad for those little ones.

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper · 09/06/2013 21:05

YANBU I would have been judging too. Another thread where people will come and offer a variety of reasons why someone would be pissed on a bus at 1am with their children but there's no good enough reason really.

hermioneweasley · 09/06/2013 21:08

YANBU.

Bowlersarm · 09/06/2013 21:09

Of course YANBU

But it may have been a one off. Maybe they had been at a wedding, or a christening, or a 50th/60th/70th/80th family birthday party.

I agree it wasn't ideal, but it may well not be a regular occurrence.

mrsjay · 09/06/2013 21:10

why someone would be pissed on a bus at 1am with their children but there's no good enough reason really.

no not really I can imagine they got a bit carried away with wherever they were but being drunk and in charge of young children isn't on

maddening · 09/06/2013 21:12

bus driver procedures Confused offer help beyond offering a cardy even more Confused seriously missstrawberry I doubt that either suggestion carries through to real life.

Yanbu op - hope they got home ok and it was a one off!