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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not always pick up the phone? Mum thinks I am wrong.

40 replies

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 09/06/2013 17:58

According to my Mum I am unreasonable to not ALWAYS pick up the phone in case it's an emergency.

I am annoyed. today there was a minor issue and my niece tried repeatedly to call my Mum for assistance....she was out all day...won't carry a mobile. So niece tries to call me on my landline...I never pick that up when I am working but will respond to txt messages.

Niece didn't have my mobile number. Mum says I should ALWAYS pick up the phone.

I begged to differ she says "Right then I will know never to call you if I am ever in need of help" I say "That's right because I don't always answer...but I do generally respond to mobile calls."

She has made the "issue" about herself somehow and I told her this...I would not agree to always pick up the phone and I said I had to go now as I am working....but I am pissed off now so came on here to ask if IABU??

OP posts:

Borntobeamum · 09/06/2013 18:00

Yabu.
In my opinion.
No doubt others will agree with you.

CruCru · 09/06/2013 18:00

You are not a slave to your telephone. Do you have an answer phone?

Feedupandstruggling · 09/06/2013 18:02

To me you are not being unreasonable - I pick and choose when answering the landline. If its urgent I know they can call mobile.

GingerBlondecat · 09/06/2013 18:02

I reaily answer the phone,
do you have an answering machine.?

I do, if they need to tell me something important, they leave a message

GingerBlondecat · 09/06/2013 18:02

Opps - Rarely

Jinsei · 09/06/2013 18:02

Yanbu, especially if you said you would answer calls on your mobile. Did your niece repeatedly try the landline, or just once? Hope she was ok, anyway

Original poster

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 09/06/2013 18:04

I do have an answering machine integral to the phone. I don't check it daily though. I DO check my mobile regularly. Niece tried to call me about 4 or 5 times but I was upstairs and am hard of hearing so never heard it.

If I wanted to take a due call I would bring the phone up with me. BUt I did have m mobile.

OP posts:

Jinsei · 09/06/2013 18:04

And is your mum is worried about being contactable in emergencies, SIBU for not carrying a mobile!

FeckOffCup · 09/06/2013 18:04

YANBU but I would get an answerphone so you can screen calls if you don't already have one, I rarely answer the house phone (keep getting calls for the woman who moved out 6 months ago and one caller got arsey with me for not being her ) I only answer/call back if it's someone I know.

Original poster

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 09/06/2013 18:05

Mum has a history of going when I say I can't have visitors as I am working or similarly when I say I won't be cooking for DH as I am working till' 6 or whatever...it does my nut in. This is another example. If I was a judge would she expect me to frigging adjourn the court to make DH a baked potato?

I doubt it.

OP posts:

FringeEvent · 09/06/2013 18:06

Her demand that you should always answer your landline is pretty rich considering she won't even carry a mobile. Does she not see the double standard?

TBH I'd always answer my phone when working (providing I was able to safely interrupt what I was doing, and wasn't in a meeting, etc) but I'd also expect to not be bothered by family or friends over trivial matters during my working hours, or that they wouldn't make a fuss if I said "can't actually talk now, but I'll ring you back after 6pm"

Have you previously had problems with people ringing about trivial nonsense during your working hours? What did your niece want?

LunaticFringe · 09/06/2013 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 09/06/2013 18:06

I have shown Mum how to text and call on her mobile and she just will not carry it or try it out. This is a wry as her job involves a lot of driving....she's got no fallback for if she brokedown in the middle of nowhere!

OP posts:

Original poster

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 09/06/2013 18:08

Fringe yes...Mum will call and expect to chat...same with others. They then get arsey when I say "Sorry, can't talk now as I'm working but will call you later."

They try to continue to talk to me!

OP posts:

sudointellectual · 09/06/2013 18:09

I never answer the phone or check emails while I'm working. I would spend all day hanging up on robocalls if I did! YANBU

daftdame · 09/06/2013 18:09

I don't always answer my phone either. Often it is sales calls. Our phone cleverly displays the number so I tend to know which calls are likely to be more important. Realistically you cannot always answer your phone, could be out, in the bath, loo etc. I love my phone with its number display and answer machine for this reason.

Original poster

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 09/06/2013 18:11

I also get a LOT of robocalls and that's a big reason not to pick up. I will check the messages more frequently though after today. But I certainly wont be picking it up every time it goes. Mum will not call my mobile as it's expensive on the landline. I have told her to let it ring once and then hang up and I will call her back but FFS!

OP posts:

Fairylea · 09/06/2013 18:11

I never answer my landline. Well rarely anyway.

If anyone needs me urgently they have my mobile number which I always have with me and to be honest if it's not someone that doesn't have my mobile number.. well it won't be an emergency!

invicta · 09/06/2013 18:15

I always used to answer the phone. However, now if I'm in the bath or doing something that I don't want to be interrupted, I would let the answer phone take a message. My sentiments reflects's lunatic fringe's post.

My job means I can't carry a phone with me all day, but for emergencies, they can call the main number.

Original poster

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 09/06/2013 18:18

I think that the advent of mobile phones has changed the way we view land lines. It has for me anyway....to me, they are mainly for calling those high rate numbers and for calling landlines for an extra long chat. All the rest of my communication is by text.

OP posts:

sudointellectual · 09/06/2013 18:22

You've got to keep a hard line if you work from home. I have had friends who seem to think working from home means one never has to actually work - they will drop in for coffee, ask me to wait in for their gas man, attempt to fob off the kids on me etc etc. I used to be constantly explaining that no, I have deadlines, I have to deliver things that take x number of hours to make and asking me to take two hours off in the middle of the day is actually asking me to get up at 4.30am (to make up the time). Now I just don't answer the door, heh.

I do actually accept deliveries, as that's not too big a distraction and I know it's such a pain for people. Our postman must think I'm running some elaborate shopping based identity fraud.

hackmum · 09/06/2013 18:23

This to me is one of the downsides of having multiple methods of communication. I always answer my landline but rarely answer my mobile while I'm at home because I keep it switched off unless I'm out and about. But lots of people I know do the reverse - the always call the mobile, or text, and not the landline.

On the other hand, I'm invariably at my desk during the day, so one friend says that if she wants to reach me quickly she'll always email me, whereas with other friends, she'll text.

I have to admit I get annoyed (probably irrationally) when people call my mobile, and I don't discover the message till three days later. I always think: what's wrong with calling the landline? I'm at home most of the time, after all. So in my view the OP is BU, but I can see why others might think the opposite.

usualsuspect · 09/06/2013 18:25

I always answer my phone.

FringeEvent · 09/06/2013 18:26

Sounds to me like her issue is actually not that you'd not be contactable in an emergency (as you've clearly stated that you can be reached on your mobile) - it's that she doesn't view your work as important.

cardibach · 09/06/2013 18:29

In this case, though, Neo, you didn't 'not answer the phone'. You didn't hear it. How can you answer it if you can't hear it? You should have made this your line of reasoning with your mum, because, tbh, not answering repeated calls is a bit unreasonable otherwise.

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