To not always pick up the phone? Mum thinks I am wrong.

[NeoMaxiZoomDweebie]

According to my Mum I am unreasonable to not ALWAYS pick up the phone in case it's an emergency.

I am annoyed. today there was a minor issue and my niece tried repeatedly to call my Mum for assistance....she was out all day...won't carry a mobile. So niece tries to call me on my landline...I never pick that up when I am working but will respond to txt messages.

Niece didn't have my mobile number. Mum says I should ALWAYS pick up the phone.

I begged to differ she says "Right then I will know never to call you if I am ever in need of help" I say "That's right because I don't always answer...but I do generally respond to mobile calls."

She has made the "issue" about herself somehow and I told her this...I would not agree to always pick up the phone and I said I had to go now as I am working....but I am pissed off now so came on here to ask if IABU??

I think people just try to have a method that works for them. If something goes wrong you may have to revise, like checking messages more often.

However it was not just the OP who was difficult to get hold of. The compromise is just to check the messages if you know you have missed a call and at regular intervals for when you wouldn't have been able to hear whether you had or not.

cardi she shifted the blame on to DH as he "should" answer it even though it is never for him. EVER, all his communication is mobile based.

I will tell mum that I will check my answerphone more.

AND I will tell her she needs to keep her mobile charged AND get to grips with it. She can manage Sky Plus ffs.

I screen with my answer machine. Everyone knows this. Everyone knows chances are I am in, just not picking up.
Only reason I have it is because of net.

my landline phone shows the telephone number of the person calling so I dont tend to answer unless it is a known number. I mostly get PPI and sales calls on it so rarely have to answer it.

A ringing phone is just an invitation to answer. I'm not obliged to answer. With the landline, I've often just let it go to answerphone and checked afterwards, as we seem to get periods where we have a high level of sales calls (despite TPS).

Otherwise the good thing about mobiles is that you can see who is calling.

Your mum sounds like a bit of a twat!

The niece was trying to contact her not you!

She is the one who is unable to be contacted, not you!

Why does she not carry a mobile if phones are soooo important to her?

Sounds like your mum was trying to project her guiltiness on to you. You are being reasonable in that you have promised to check your messages instead of just blaming her.

Agree with Fryone... Ringing someone's phone is an invitation for them to answer, not a demand. I often don't answer my landline, as I have no caller ID, but I do then screen the answering machine. If its urgent, I'll pick up, if its my MIL calling for her daily recount of church, dogs and Tesco, then I probably won't.

People always quote "emergencies" to add weight to their light argument. Seriously, how many calls do we get that are really urgent?

YANBU

I never answer my landline.

. My nearest and dearest phone my mobile. Anyone else can leave a message on the landline if they need to get hold of me.

My dad never screens calls. I think it comes from living for decades without an answer phone. I see calls as an invitation to answer, not a command. There's no point me answering if I'm dashing out of the door or have a fretful child on my hip as I won't be able to give the call proper attention. Also, even if someone calls during dd2's nap, I am always doing loads of jobs. I don't use the phone much-I arrange meeting up with people by text and save the chat for then when I know I've got time. If I heard an answer phone message that was urgent, of course I'd pick up. Long winded way of saying yanbu!

I used to always answer my phone when it rang, but after reading previous threads on MN about it I have learned not to. MIL and my parents have a different ring tone on our landline so we know if its them. Even then if we are busy we may not answer, but will call back 5 mins later. Im too nosey so always check for a message straight away which is often quicker than actually answering it. If there was an emergency it would only be MIL, my parents or school. All of which know our mobiles, all of which would leave a message (that Id listen to fairly quickly anyway) or they would keep calling and I would pick up.

Just because someone is finding that time convenient to talk to you doesn't mean you have to find it convenient too.

I never answer my door or landline during the day as it's invariably someone trying to sell me something, or tell me I'm entitled to compensation or PPI claim, or ask for Mr Watson (no I don't know who he is either!).

My mum and dad only call at weekends, or after 6 (when she then starts the conversation with "I knew you'd be in because it's DS's bedtime/Coronation Street's on ..." Or some other reason why I'll be busy!)

My Mother is not a "twat" she was stressed out by it all I think. I have spoken to her and sorted out that I will check more often and she will sort out her mobile. Thanks to all advisors!