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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit annoyed at my daft friend?

45 replies

Kernowgal · 09/06/2013 14:49

Just got back from hols with friend. Hired a car and I agreed to drive because she drives a lot for work and wanted a break. I've never driven abroad before, nor on the other side of the road.

When we picked up the car I passed her the map and pointed out where we needed to go, where to turn off. At this point she tells me she can't read the map because she hasn't got her glasses. I say OK, I'll pull over and you can get them out of the boot. She tells me she didn't bring them with her because she didn't think she'd need them Angry On several occasions we came up to junctions and I asked her which way we should be going, getting "er I don't know" in response. We'd be in a busy town and I'd have no idea which way I was supposed to be going.

I held my tongue all week but I was actually really pissed off. AIBU? I feel like I didn't have much of a holiday in a way.

OP posts:
fuzzpig · 09/06/2013 14:52

YANBU, what a numpty - not like she just innocently forgot them, she deliberately left them at home? What about reading menus and stuff?

DH has only just got his first ever reading glasses age 45 (feels he is getting old now bless him :o) and even he has got used to taking them everywhere with him - you never know when you'll need to read something.

CharlieCoCo · 09/06/2013 14:53

Your friend sounds like an idiot who has no interest in helping you.

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 09/06/2013 14:53

As a non driver I think YABU. Non drivers don't always know they have to map read sometimes.You are overreacting.

UndineSpragg · 09/06/2013 14:57

YANBU in the least. I would have murdered her. The least you can expect when you are driving in unfamiliar territory and on the opposite side of the road is someone map reading with reasonable competence. But did you not discuss this before you left home? Or was she expecting a sat nav? Though I can't fathom how someone would expect not to have to read something, even a menu, in an entire holiday...?

Or is it that she can't map read and was making excuses to cover it up?

fuzzpig · 09/06/2013 14:57

But the friend does drive a lot I thought? So she should have realised IMO (I say that as somebody who can't drive at all)

minibmw2010 · 09/06/2013 14:59

But OP's friend isn't a non-driver, just chose not to this holiday. Someone who drives a lot for work should be able to work out maps just fine. And leaving the glasses at home deliberately is just strange Hmm

CharlieCoCo · 09/06/2013 15:00

she does drive though. a lot. also, as a glasses wearer, ud think she would remember to um, bring her glasses..even if she didnt think shed need to read maps, shed need to read some stuff, menus, sign hotel bill etc..
sounds like she wants a holiday and for u to do all the stuff she thouht was too much effort.

EagleRiderDirk · 09/06/2013 15:01

I'm a non driver and I can read a map. In fact as my penance for non driving I make sure I can help someone else who takes on driving duties. Yanbu

Original poster
Kernowgal · 09/06/2013 15:01

Neo I'm afraid I don't understand your response at all. There was nobody else with us and I was driving. Who the hell else was going to read the map?

As I said above, I agreed to drive because she drives a lot for work and wanted a break. She drives herself, we didn't have a satnav (through choice, I don't like them), she is perfectly used to mapreading.

CharlieCoCo your response made me laugh but she is actually a sweetheart and generally pretty thoughtful. But she can be very very daft sometimes and this was one of those facepalm moments.

OP posts:
LoopyLooplaHoop · 09/06/2013 15:01

Get a sat nav.

Mintyy · 09/06/2013 15:01

Yanbu. She sounds like a very silly person. If you were driving, who did she think was going to do the navigating?

UndineSpragg · 09/06/2013 15:02

Neo, I'm a non driver, and have always known, pre sat nav, that map reading was my responsibility on holidays or long drives. Not always discussed in advance, come to think of it. And no, I've never been taught how to map read, but it's basic common sense, isn't it? I mean, I couldn't orienteer cross country in the snow or anything, but it's not that hard to look at a road atlas and say which junction you need to come off at...?

Mintyy · 09/06/2013 15:02

Also wish people wrtft!

lollilou · 09/06/2013 15:02

Just a thought but can your friend read? Some people are illiterate and go to great lengths to hide it.

diddl · 09/06/2013 15:07

What if you had been ill & she had had to drive?

When you pulled over though, you could have worked the route out & written it down.

She's daft, but then I think you are also for refusing sat nav!

pollywollydoodle · 09/06/2013 15:07

The only thing i can think of is that she was expecting satnavShock
poor you, i remember the 1st time i drove abroad, it was knackering ( even with a good navigator) because it took such a lot of concentration
YANBU and i'd have stopped at 1st chemist we came to so that she could buy herself another pair

Original poster
Kernowgal · 09/06/2013 15:07

Well as it turned out I had to read all the menus, the road signs, everything, because although neither of us spoke the local lingo, I do at least have some idea through knowing a similar language. But she just left everything to me, even making suggestions about where to go. Even at the airport she was asking me if there were any more shops through the gates - how the hell would I know as I'd never been there before! I didn't realise she is quite so passive in everything. Charlie CoCo the thought did cross my mind that she just wanted to switch off and not have to think about anything. Which is probably the source of my irritation as I needed a holiday too!

Undine I don't know what she was expecting - she did originally offer to borrow her partner's satnav but didn't even bring that in the end! We didn't discuss it but on a previous holiday she drove and I mapread so it was an automatic assumption on my part that we'd swap roles.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kernowgal · 09/06/2013 15:12

Our holiday home owner lent us his satnav but I'd never used one before and had difficulties working out how to use it, plus it was difficult to know what streets we were looking for in cities we'd not visited before. It also seemed to only ever use the motorways when I prefer using smaller roads to see a bit of the local area iyswim. I just much prefer using a map. Also a lot of the cities we were visiting had central areas where you'd get fined if you went in a restricted zone and I had visions of the satnav merrily taking us in there (my own silly paranoia, I know Wink)

OP posts:
Original poster
Kernowgal · 09/06/2013 15:16

Oh she can definitely read by the way, no doubt about that!

OP posts:
pigletmania · 09/06/2013 15:19

Yabu cut her some slack. Mabey she is embarrassed because she cant read a map, I haven't got a clue, good thing I don't drive. Sat nav is your friend Smile

PoshAubrey · 09/06/2013 15:19

I think your friend was selfish and Id have been cross. You were kind to offer to drive, letting her have a break from that. Especially as it was your first time driving abroad. But in return I'd expect a friend to step up and help with the navigating.

Neo I don't understand your point. I went abroad with a non driving friend and she made it clear in advance she would take over all the navigating as I was taking the responsibility for driving us in an unfamiliar foreign country. Only fair, surely?

Montybojangles · 09/06/2013 15:21

I wonder if lollipop might be right here, and your friend has difficulty reading. Especially if she had you reading the menus and asking you what was where. some people are extremely good at hiding this from others when in a familiar environment.

Montybojangles · 09/06/2013 15:21

X post :)

pigletmania · 09/06/2013 15:24

I would make a lousy companion on holidayb

Original poster
Kernowgal · 09/06/2013 15:27

Yeah but at least you're honest about it Pigletmania!

OP posts:
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