That I my DD won't grow up knowing my native language (French)

[coucou80]

Hiya there ladies,

Silly o'clock but suffer from insomnia and DH is working. Just literally been thinking, I really am scared that DD (due on 27th November) will never end up growing up knowing French as her first language (as well as English as DH is English) as I only ever use French when I go back to France with my family and that is only once a year and English is pretty much my first language these days. Have been reading the 'Bilingual babies' thread thingy and much of what was written there ringed true to me. Strange as it seems, I feel very strange when I speak in French and words just seem more natural in English. Any suggestions at all?

I've never heard of that before. I wish my children could do something like that.

I have family who are bilingual German and English. When the children were young each parent spoke in their native language to the children. They went on holiday to Germany lots and still do and the oldest child goes to a German school here in the UK. They watched German television, cartoons etc. and read German children's books. There are French schools near me and some nurseries even offer bilingual French and English curriculums. It is totally possible for your dd to know both.

You really should think about doing one parent one language. We are raising our two that way, and while my French is not great my 2 and 4 year olds are bilingual. It is a fabulous gift you can give your child. My husband has only ever spoken French to our children since the day they were born, no matter what! London is a fabulous place to raise French kids because there are lots of French nurseries and schools.

We decided to do it because my husbands family don't speak English and it was unfair to deny the children knowledge of their family. When they go to France their cousins are really jealous that they can speak French and English!

It is easier than you think, I promise. And one of the best things we have ever done.

Ps the French does come back. My husband has had the same problem about starting to lose the language and talking every day to the children in French has really helped him.

This is not quite the same, I know, but my daughter speaks with a really strong Yorkshire accent. We are not from Yorkshire (Hertfordshire),but have lived here for 10 years. MY eldest son and my youngest son still have their Herts accents,as do myself and DH, but DD sounds so different to us all, I find it quite weird, and a bit sad actually!

Kelda where are you?

Belgium.

I'm reading this with fascination. We are in Spain, DH is half Spanish/half Irish, bilingual himself. DS has only English in the house (18mo), DGF is Spanish and DS hears Spanish in the street (cafe, restaurant, supermarket - people here always chat to your dc). Actually, on the street it's a mix of Spanish/Catalan as we're in Catalonia, it'll be Catalan when he starts playschool in September.

I have a question: what is OPOL?

It stands for one parent one language

And it means one parent uses only one language and the other parent uses a different language. The books I have read indicate you should do it from birth nod make every effort not to use the other parents language when speaking to your child.

I completely understand where you're coming from OP. I am French and have lived in the UK for the last 15 years, I am completely immersed in the British culture and do everything in English. Before DD was born 2 years ago, the only times I spoke French was when I spoke to my family, which wasn't that often as we are not very close and I only visit them once a year. I also lost a lot of words purely from lack of use (and still do now, I have to bring out the dictionary sometimes), and it just 'felt' weird speaking French. HOWEVER there is hope!

The arrival of DD made a huge difference. I knew I wanted her to be bilingual and be able to speak to my family and her cousin so I made a conscious decision to speak to her in French only. In the day it was just her and me so although it felt strange and I was definitely forcing myself at the beginning, it did become a lot more natural as time went on. Her dad does all the English and I speak English with him at home but I speak to her in French and it now has become second nature, although it did take a while!

We bought some French baby books when we were in France for holidays and they are the only ones I read to her (or I try to do an approximate translation or just describe English books). I've also tried to remember French nursery rhymes to sing to her. We got some bilingual toys (I requested that my family give her books, cds and DVDs as presents rather than anything else), she has a bear and a phone that speak in both languages and also the Leapfrog play table. I got a DVD of French nursery rhymes called Les Clipounettes which she really loves, and she knows some of the songs by heart. We also started to hold weekly Skype conversations with my parents, mostly for their benefit at the beginning but now DD is 22 months and starting to talk she recognises them and they sing together and have their little 10 minute meeting every week.

It's clear at the moment that she's using more English than French; if there are two words to choose from she tends to go for the English. It's understandable as all her friends are English, and when I have the radio or TV on, it's in English BUT she understands all the French and some words she only knows in French and uses those. She started to count in both languages as well (both DH and I do it going up and down the stairs with her and she repeats after us). Yesterday she was in the garden looking for snails and when she found some, said 'More escargots!'

French might not be her first language but she will be fluent and there is no reason your baby can't either!

If you want your child to be bilingual, you can do a lot to make this happen.

If you are not that bothered, it won't happen.

Your choice.

As Greythorne said

At my DS's school there are French, Italian, and Polish children and I hear the Parents always speaking in their language to the children, some of the children (mostly Polish) were born in that country and have both parents speaking the same language. The others have one English parent, though I know with DS's Italian friend the Dad also speaks Italian

I live in the UK in a town with surprisingly large Italian and Dutch communities. There are children who start school, having been born in the UK, who only learn English at school And if they go to the Dutch school, well If you want to do it, go for it.

She won't learn it if you don't speak it to her. Please, please speak it to her.

Why don't you just speak to your baby in French when you are on your own with them?

My brother and his wife speak different languages. When they were babies and toddlers he would speak in English and she would only speak on her language and it’s worked out great for them.

Apparently babies pick up the cadences of language in the womb ...

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/07/170718084600.htm

So you're never too early to start.

Obviously not now but when things go back to some normality have you thought about volunteering at your local primary school to do some french sessions. When mine were there a local French mom volunteered her services and it worked wonderfully. The excitement that Xx's mom was teaching the French went down well. Another mom came in and taught them basic BSL phrases which was fantastic x