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To accept money for groceries?

8 replies

Flossyfloof · 08/06/2013 15:56

My neighbour recently had an op and was under the weather for a few days. I asked via text every day if she needed any shopping (I was going to the shops anyway so it was no trouble). I got her a couple of pounds' worth of stuff and also ordered her a lovely bouquet (£25.00) from my favourite florist. She asked how much the shopping was and I told her. She dropped the money round, plus a bit for a taxi we had shared on a night out, this week. DP says I should not have accepted the money. So - wibu? I don't think I was - she is going to have treatment and I will no doubt be doing bits and pieces for her in the future (very willingly). I don't think for one minute that she would expect me to pay for her shopping - do you? Or am I being mean?

OP posts:

BoundandRebound · 08/06/2013 15:59

If you didn't accept it she would feel uncomfortable asking you for help in the future

I would


Corygal · 08/06/2013 16:02

Accept it - she wants to be able to ask you again.


Earlybird · 08/06/2013 16:02

If it was a one-time thing, it would have been very generous (though definitely not necessary) for you not to have accepted the money. But if she is ill and is likely to need/want ongoing help (and you are willing/able to provide it), then you did the correct thing by accepting the money - you donated your time and effort (and a lovely bouquet).

It is very hard to ask favours continuously when a person is unable to be independent, so the more business-like you can keep it, the better it will be for her. You won't risk feeling taken advantage of and she won't worry so much that she is imposing. IMO.


ENormaSnob · 08/06/2013 16:04


You are being very kind and I'm certain she won't expect you to pay for her shopping too.


Flossyfloof · 08/06/2013 16:07

Ha! - I knew I was right! I do imagine I will do bits and pieces for her in the future and I think if she assumed that she didn't have to pay (I don't think she would) I would get a bit huffy about it.

OP posts:

youmeatsix · 08/06/2013 16:10

in your neighbours shoes? i would feel awful if you hadnt accepted it, and would never be able to ask a favour again. if someone showed me such a kindness in this situation it would never cross my mind not to pay. she will just be grateful you got her the shopping in


NorthernLurker · 08/06/2013 16:16

She's ill not destitute. Much better for her to pay and you donate your time and effort plus a gift of flowers.


mikkii · 08/06/2013 16:29

My opinion is the same as the others, you were right to take the money.

I have a friend who is often ill and not able to get out. If I know she is bad and I am going shopping I always ask if she needs something. The first time I waved it away claiming I wasn't sure how much hers was ( I had to make an emergency run to A&E with DD1 while DSis did the shopping including DD1s birthday cake. The next time, I paid separately for her bits (£3.51!) and left the receipt in the bag. I'm not worried about the money, but want her to feel she can ask me again.

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