To accept money for groceries?

[Flossyfloof]

My neighbour recently had an op and was under the weather for a few days. I asked via text every day if she needed any shopping (I was going to the shops anyway so it was no trouble). I got her a couple of pounds' worth of stuff and also ordered her a lovely bouquet (£25.00) from my favourite florist. She asked how much the shopping was and I told her. She dropped the money round, plus a bit for a taxi we had shared on a night out, this week. DP says I should not have accepted the money. So - wibu? I don't think I was - she is going to have treatment and I will no doubt be doing bits and pieces for her in the future (very willingly). I don't think for one minute that she would expect me to pay for her shopping - do you? Or am I being mean?

[mikkii]

My opinion is the same as the others, you were right to take the money.

I have a friend who is often ill and not able to get out. If I know she is bad and I am going shopping I always ask if she needs something. The first time I waved it away claiming I wasn't sure how much hers was ( I had to make an emergency run to A&E with DD1 while DSis did the shopping including DD1s birthday cake. The next time, I paid separately for her bits (£3.51!) and left the receipt in the bag. I'm not worried about the money, but want her to feel she can ask me again.

[NorthernLurker]

She's ill not destitute. Much better for her to pay and you donate your time and effort plus a gift of flowers.

[youmeatsix]

in your neighbours shoes? i would feel awful if you hadnt accepted it, and would never be able to ask a favour again. if someone showed me such a kindness in this situation it would never cross my mind not to pay. she will just be grateful you got her the shopping in

[Flossyfloof]

Ha! - I knew I was right! I do imagine I will do bits and pieces for her in the future and I think if she assumed that she didn't have to pay (I don't think she would) I would get a bit huffy about it.

[ENormaSnob]

Yanbu

You are being very kind and I'm certain she won't expect you to pay for her shopping too.

[Earlybird]

If it was a one-time thing, it would have been very generous (though definitely not necessary) for you not to have accepted the money. But if she is ill and is likely to need/want ongoing help (and you are willing/able to provide it), then you did the correct thing by accepting the money - you donated your time and effort (and a lovely bouquet).

It is very hard to ask favours continuously when a person is unable to be independent, so the more business-like you can keep it, the better it will be for her. You won't risk feeling taken advantage of and she won't worry so much that she is imposing. IMO.

[Corygal]

Accept it - she wants to be able to ask you again.

[BoundandRebound]

If you didn't accept it she would feel uncomfortable asking you for help in the future

I would