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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About going to this wedding reception

34 replies

jinglymum · 08/06/2013 08:53

So I have been with my partner for around 8 months now, about 2 months ago he mentioned about going to this wedding reception for some of his friends who had been married abroad who were having a reception back home for those who did not attend. He went to the stag weekend but not to the actual wedding, however was invited.

Anyway fast forward to last night and I ask what the plans are for the reception which is today, he says well I will have to meet you there...... I said why, he explained he and a few of his friends had said they would be arriving at 8, the groom apparently wasn't pleased with this and wanted them there for when it started at 7, but said plus ones would not be able to attend until 8pm!

Aibu to say I don't want to arrive on my own when I know no one there apart from my partner, but also think its pretty rude to expect the people on the invite to arrive at a separate time to their 'plus one'?

OP posts:
Montybojangles · 08/06/2013 08:57

Bizarre and unreasonable. I would be pretty hacked off about that. What is the reasoning?

ajandjjmum · 08/06/2013 08:58

Very odd. But it's presumably local so wouldn't cause you too much of a problem to meet there. I would feel awkward too, and would ask DP to make sure when you text he comes straight out to meet you, and go in with you.

FarBetterNow · 08/06/2013 08:59

Is he trying to put you off going?
Would he prefer to have a night on his own at the party with his mates?

HollyBerryBush · 08/06/2013 09:00

Why can't you go with him at 7?

LuisSuarezTeeth · 08/06/2013 09:00

That is really odd.

LondonBus · 08/06/2013 09:00

Sounds odd! Does the groom want help setting up or something?

It either starts at 7pm, or 8pm. They need to make up their minds.

I'd suck it up, but then hold a grudge against these people for ever, and look back and laugh in years to come about how ridiculous they were.

Original poster
jinglymum · 08/06/2013 09:02

I have no idea what the reasoning is, just seems so strange doesn't it.

Yes local about 20 minutes away so not too far to get too, would just feel uncomfortable just "turning up".

I said to him before if you just want to go with friends that's fine with me, but all his friends are taking their partners so not a big boys night out kinda situation.

OP posts:
Original poster
jinglymum · 08/06/2013 09:03

It starts at 7, no setting up involved, or so I believe, just don't appear to want "plus ones" to arrive until later.

Haha like the idea of holding a grudge! I dislike this groom before I've even met him now. Petty I know,

OP posts:
MrsMook · 08/06/2013 09:03

If it was us, we'd arrive together at 8. It's unreasonable to make two sets of travel arrangements to the same place. That would mean either two taxis, or both driving and unable to drink.

diddl · 08/06/2013 09:11

Sounds very odd.

So Groomzilla wants an hour on his own with his mates?

Does no plus ones also mean no wives until 8?

In which case I'd tell my husband to go alone-although tbh I doubt he'd go at all if I was snubbed in this way.

ifancyashandy · 08/06/2013 09:13

Arriving on my own wouldn't bother me in the slightest. You arrive, walk through the door, spot partner, mooch on over. What's to be worries about in that scenario?

However, it is an odd request and not one I would ask of my guests. Strange.

HollyBerryBush · 08/06/2013 09:14

If all the wives/partners know each other - it is possible they are doing something for that hour together - you may not have been invited because you don't know them? Follow that line of enquiry.

comelywenchlywoo · 08/06/2013 09:15

Weird, but I would just go with him and read my kindle in the car with a flask of tea for an hour seething

Or if you're going by taxi, I'd go with him and sit in the bar alone with the kindle for an hour seething

Montybojangles · 08/06/2013 09:15

Just turn up together, either at 7 or 8, and say it wasn't convenient to come separately.

Optimist1 · 08/06/2013 09:20

How odd! Personally I wouldn't have a problem arriving on my own, but could you arrange to travel there with one of his mates' partners if this would make you more comfortable?

Original poster
jinglymum · 08/06/2013 09:23

I think we are just going together at 8, he called one of the others going last night whose partner wasn't allowed until 8 either, he said she might meet with another of the girls and go for a drink before, but the two of them are friends. Tonight will be the first time I am meeting this group of his friends, so hopefully will get along with them all.

I wouldn't expect him to arrive alone to one of my friends parties, just think its a pretty strange request, glad I'm not alone.

OP posts:
ApocalypseThen · 08/06/2013 09:25

Did he not ask why? Seems an obvious question to a bizarre request.

Bowlersarm · 08/06/2013 09:27

Couldn't you text him when you get outside at 8.00 and he could meet you outside, and then go in together?

PrincessOfChina · 08/06/2013 09:29

It seems like an odd request but I wouldn't e at all bothered by the idea of turning up alone. You're an invited guest who is meeting their partner there.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 08/06/2013 09:35

I wouldn't be bothered about turning up on my own if it was down to me needing to come later (late arrival of babysitter or something) but this does seem an inconsiderate request that could really complicate transport arrangements. Very odd.

Wishiwasanheiress · 08/06/2013 10:48

Dh might be being asked for speech or photos. Hence plus one later?

Suspect a more normal reason than groom hates you tbh. Just badly put. Men are useless at that.

Wishiwasanheiress · 08/06/2013 10:49

Why are you scared to go in? I don't get that. Dh is there. Not hard to find him. Just look along those st the bar!

Patchouli · 08/06/2013 11:12

Could he be planning some sort of flash-mob dance or performance or joke or something he wants his mates in on?
It's the only thing I can think of for the silly request.
But then he would have said to your DP wouldn't he?

Go together at 8.

ENormaSnob · 08/06/2013 12:03

Very odd.

And if he wanted his pals there for speeches or pictures then he should've invited them all day.

mirry2 · 08/06/2013 12:09

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest to turn up on my own or even question the arrangement.

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