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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

About my friend teaching my child.

43 replies

mrsnw · 07/06/2013 19:23

Just found out a good friend of mine has a teaching position in my daughters school. Great I thought. I've since learned that she will actually teaching her class as well as her own child. Am I being unreasonable to be a little apprehensive about our relationship??

OP posts:
ihearsounds · 07/06/2013 19:28

So a teacher gets a job in a school, teaches a class, and at some point, educates her own child?

None issue. People in small communities are teachers and at some point have their own children in school. One of the schools I went to, had 3 generations of the same family teaching, never mind all their relatives going to the school.

kilmuir · 07/06/2013 19:30

How odd, whats the problem?

SodaStreamy · 07/06/2013 19:30

I can't see a problem? What is it that worries you?

A bit strange to be teaching her on child though..I wouldn't have thought that would be allowed?

Is it a very small school?

Turniptwirl · 07/06/2013 19:30

Give the situation a chance, if issues develop then deal with them then, but stressing out when nothing has happened yet does no one any good

Original poster
mrsnw · 07/06/2013 19:33

Yes it is a small school, one form entry. Live in a very small community.

OP posts:
Crikeyblimey · 07/06/2013 19:33

My sister taught both her children. They called her Mrs H at school and mum at home. No problems ever. She was a good teacher (retired now) and they were good kids (adults now).

thebody · 07/06/2013 19:34

Where we live this is the norm. Village community.

I love the fact that the teachers think the school is good enough for their kids.

She's not actually allowed to teach her own child however so unsure what you mean here.

Original poster
mrsnw · 07/06/2013 19:34

I'm more worried about how it will affect our relationship and the friendship our children have.

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsnw · 07/06/2013 19:35

Really the body? Where does it say she cannot teach her own child?

OP posts:
TiggerWearsATriteSmile · 07/06/2013 19:40

I went to a small primary school.
At some point all the teachers bar 2 I think, taught their own children.

It wasn't an issue at all.

In secondary school a lot more of the teachers would've had children in the school.

It was pot luck what subjects they chose as to wether they would end up with a parent teaching them.

I don't know why you're making an issue if it.

ILiveInAPineappleCoveredInSnow · 07/06/2013 19:41

Of course people are allowed to teach classes containing their own children! Happens all the time, and in fact even happens in huge secondary schools! Not a problem at all.

MoominMammasHandbag · 07/06/2013 19:44

We have had a teacher teaching her own child at our primary. It was a massive problem.

PleasePudding · 07/06/2013 19:50

I think I understand where you are coming from, somehow it can seem helpful to have a purely professional relationship with your children's teachers and no preconceptions.

However I'm sure your friend will be entirely professional but you may actually end up with greater insight into your children's school day and your friend may use her prior knowledge of your children to teach them even more effectively?

mummytime · 07/06/2013 19:57

I had a friend teach my youngest, I also know almost all the teachers at her school very well now. The friend was one of the best teachers she had, we hit the ground running as they knew each other and me.
My SIL did supply at her DD's school and sometimes took the youngest's class.

CloudsAndTrees · 07/06/2013 19:59

I completely see why you might be worried about this, but give it a chance. It can work very badly, but it can work well too.

You will need to allow your friend to put her 'teacher hat' on and off depending on what you are doing and talking about. You can talk to the children too to help them understand the differnce between their friends Mum, and Mrs XX. If its handled well by the school and the teacher, it doesn't have to be an issue.

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 07/06/2013 20:00

I can't see the problem myself. What do y?ou think is the actual problem

ChippingInWiredOnCoffee · 07/06/2013 20:01

Clearly my bloody keyboard is a problem!!

claraschu · 07/06/2013 20:04

I had a friend who ended up standing in at the last moment to teach sex education to his daughter's year 8 or 9 class. He was amused; she was mortified.

ShadeofViolet · 07/06/2013 20:04

I went to school in a small, village primary. Our NDN was my year 5 teacher and 2 other teachers were my Mum's friends.

ReluctantBeing · 07/06/2013 20:06

Of course it is allowed!
There is no issue, unless your child is a pain in the arse.

TheSecondComing · 07/06/2013 20:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dramajustfollowsme · 07/06/2013 20:10

I got a new teaching job at a school that my niece and flowergirl went to. Three weeks after her throwing petals at the wedding. I was her p2 teacher.
We had rule that during the school day I was Mrs but outwith I was still Auntie. It was never an issue.

BibbityBotBot · 07/06/2013 20:19

I teach at the school my dd attends and my friends have taught my dd. I have also taught my friend's children.

We are careful to maintain our parent and teacher 'hats' and there have never been any problems. I make appointment to see them if necessary and don't ask questions when we see each other socially.

It really shouldn't be a problem :).

CrapBag · 07/06/2013 20:21

My DS's teacher has a DS in the school, she would have taught him as there is only 1 class in each year so don't know where the idea comes from that you aren't allowed to teach your own child, that's not always going to be possible to follow through with.

I don't think your friendship should suffer as long as any school related stuff is kept professional. Teachers have friends too.

BasketzatDawn · 07/06/2013 20:23

I'd just be very careful from now on what you say at home about this friend, her child, everyone else in the class, the head teacher. Everyone really. Not sure what else you can do, OP.