About my friend teaching my child.

[mrsnw]

Just found out a good friend of mine has a teaching position in my daughters school. Great I thought. I've since learned that she will actually teaching her class as well as her own child. Am I being unreasonable to be a little apprehensive about our relationship??

I've been taught by both of my parents as well as by family friends. Not seeing the problem

I can see the OPs point. She is a good friend, but is she a good teacher? What if there is an issue that the OP doesnt feel that the friend has dealt with appropriately (bullying, whatever), we have all seen posts like that on here.

I would be a bit worried that the friendship might be affected if something like that happened.

One of DD's classmate is the daughter of one of the teachers at her school. Teacher teaches her own daughter, alongside DD and others. Not a problem. Her DD calls her Mrs X at school, mum out of school. Probably says mum at school at times tbh too - only normal.

Her mum isn't a friend of mine to be fair, only know her through the children really. But enough to chat to and have a class meal/drink with. Treat the two roles separately - at school at teacher; outside of school a friend.

My mother taught supply and on occasions taught me. I think I gave it away once when she called the register and I answered 'Yes, Mummy.'

It's actually quite tricky sometimes to teach a colleagues child and I'm fairly sure I'd feel quite uncomfortable teaching a friends child.

It could be inhibiting for parent and teacher.

Thankfully all our friends kids are either grown up or living in other places!

It is inaccurate to say that a teacher cannot teach their own child. Some individual schools may have that rule but it is most definitely not an official rule.

I know of several teachers who have had children at their own school and who have taught their own child - both state and independent sector, primary and secondary.

I have taught my DCs, DCs of friends and colleagues on supply and it has never been a problem. The DCs separate out the fact I am 'exotic' out of school and 'Mrs Fruits' in school.

My friend taught my dd this year. No problems at all.

I would have understood your apprehension more, if your thread had been headed "About my enemy teaching my child" !!!

Seriously though, I do think I understand your apprehension. When relationships have a good balance and work well, then of course you would be wary of anything that might disturb that balance.

I think it will be fine, but I would suggest that you talk to your friend about your apprehension. I think she will be delighted to know that you value everything you currently have and will be just as keen as you are to preserve that (for adults and children, alike), while adopting a separate professional with both your dd and her own child at school.

Thanks for all your responses. I'm feeling more positive about the situation :-)

WhatSuffolkNWhat (sp?) said about setting boundaries.

I went to a school where my mum, dad and nan taught (secondary) as did my brother and cousins, it was largely fine with a few wrinkles. My DSIL also teaches at the primary school her kids went/go to and it's fine!

As long as you maintain appropriate relationship boundaries it should be fine. Good luck though!

My friend worked( not as a teacher ) in the school my dds went to. It definitely did affect our friendship.

Just to reassure you mrsnw I have taught several friends' children, it really has been fine, no problem at all. I have worked at my school for many years so lots of the parents are my friends actually. The only slightly weird time was when one of these parents kept quizzing me over coffee about other children in the class and in a quite negative way. I did distance myself from her but otherwise it has been absolutely fine.

DP's mum (future MIL) was a primary school teacher her entire working life, and now she's retired she still helps out at the school she worked at for the last 20-odd years of her career and does private tuition from home. DP was old enough to be about to go to secondary school when they moved to where she still lives so was never taught by her, but his youngest DB, and his own DS (DP's DN) were both taught by future MIL. Apparently DP's DB used to get confused (reception class) and would call her "Mrs Mum" in class . In the small town where she lives, pretty much every single person knows her by name and sight because she's taught 2 generations of children, and she's now starting to see the grandchildren of the first children she taught preparing for school. She loves it

I'm friends with one of my daughter's teachers. It's not an issue at all.

We both respect the boundaries and so it's fine.

She's friends with a number of the parents as her son is also in the school.

It's also quite nice because she has given me the 'fly on the wall' view of my daughter at school. She's a horse of a completely different colour there!

I think it will be fine. I've known several teachers who have taught their own children (including my MIL).

Next term, DD starts at "Auntie T's school". Auntie T isn't really an Aunt: she's the mother of one of my mindees and I've minded her child and mine together since hers was a baby.

I'm trying to teach DD that she must say Miss T at school, but DD isn't 4 until August and I can see lots of mistakes happening