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to think my husband should break wind a BIT more discreetly

50 replies

fber · 07/06/2013 09:00

DH breaks wind every time he goes for a wee REALLY loudly, and at other times too. I'm not talking a bit of a parp, I'm talking thunderpants. I have my own bodily functions and can fart with the best of them, but somehow I manage not to rattle the house each and every time I do it.

At best it's an irritation, but the worst of it is, it's totally turning me off him. He goes for a wee at night before bed, and, well, sex is the last thing on my mind after I've heard him blowing off.

I'm aware that lots of things that I do must irritate him, so, AIBU?

OP posts:

fber · 07/06/2013 15:34


OP posts:

BabyMakesMyEyesGoSleepy · 07/06/2013 16:53

If he was farting loudly in church YANBU but in his own home YABU.


Kooza · 07/06/2013 16:56

Oh I'm sorry but I just cracked up at your "after I've heard him blowing off" comment!

My dad does this actually and it's really embarrassing when he comes to stay as we can all hear him 1st thing in the morning!

I'm not sure what the solution is other than some serious clenching but YANBU!


snuffaluffagus · 07/06/2013 16:57

Ew, that would put me off too. I'm lucky in that my husband NEVER farts.. I mean, that's weird in itself.. but yeah.


LittleMissFuckedOff · 07/06/2013 17:08

Seriously? In the privacy of his own bathroom? Get a grip!


squoosh · 07/06/2013 17:15

He's free to fart and you're free not to find it particularly arousing.

Put it to him like that.


VerySmallSqueak · 07/06/2013 17:16

I am also childishly sniggering at 'sex is the last thing on my mind after hearing him blowing off' Grin.

I think that to be fair he is being a little thoughtless.Farts are hilarious but a bit of a passion killer at the wrong moment.

Perhaps he'll take the hint if you drop your guts in the loo before bed when he has a twinkle in his eye.


TheSmallClanger · 07/06/2013 17:16

Farting may be many things, and I do find it funny sometimes, but it definitely isn't sexy.


jammiedonut · 07/06/2013 17:18

Haha I thought I was BU by asking dh to get the air freshener out after some of his particularly nasty efforts, but this is taking it to a whole new level! If it was at the dinner table or in company I'd understand but I'm not sure it's reasonable to complain about someone tooting in their own bathroom!
Perhaps I'm just sympathetic as an IBS sufferer though. . . .


mrsjay · 07/06/2013 17:19

people will post about everything


Barmix · 07/06/2013 17:26

God, count yourself lucky. I get daily updates on my DP's "really, really massive" turds.

I do not need, nor do i want to know that "this one was the size of a python, you should've seen it".



mrsjay · 07/06/2013 17:34

oh god my dh bowels would dinner conversation if I let him why does he have to declare he is going to the toilet tell me about his sore stomach after wards he makes such a performance of having a shit

oops like i said people will post everything Grin


mrsjay · 07/06/2013 17:35

could be worse OP he could fart at the height of passion


Olbasoil · 07/06/2013 17:38

Huh ... My Dh always blows off when we are having sex . Always right at the crunch ... You think you've got problems!!


thebody · 07/06/2013 17:39

My Dhs idea of romance is not farting during foreplay!!!

Last night he asked me if I was tired or should he have a wash, ( meaning his bits)

Romance is dead.


Olbasoil · 07/06/2013 17:39

Mrs Jay .... You read my mind !


squoosh · 07/06/2013 17:44

Farts can be funny, who doesn't love a fart joke, but do not fart when you are in my vagina!


FadBook · 07/06/2013 17:44

Barmix - same here. I get texts sometimes of his bathroom achievements GrinGrinGrin

Grin at mrsJay DH too.

People are laughing OP but I'm with you. It happens in our house all of the time; it is a passion killer when he makes a big song and dance about his farts but I do try and brush it under the carpet. There are far worse things as a partner he could be doing. At the same time, I wish he could control his pumps more - even our dd replies with a raspberry noise when we ask what daddy does GrinGrin


Twitterqueen · 07/06/2013 17:51

you are so NBU...

It is such a turn off. Why do men think it's clever/funny/worth sharing/ interesting/ competitive/ ....

Mine used to do it constantly and it took a lot of saying "Look, I really don't like this, it's rude, inconsiderate. pls go outside, ... blah blah.

I get that loads of people think it's funny but actually I think it's just lack of respect. ok I'm an old fart (ha ha) but really, it's just not sexy


FurryDogMother · 07/06/2013 18:07

I knew my first marriage was doomed when, during our honeymoon, my DH came out of the bathroom and said (as I sprwled attractively on a four poster bed) 'it's not all come out yet' (bleah!). Second husband farts, but so long as he does it in another room, I don't mind the sound, it's when he does the SBD near me that we have issues - the issues being that I literally heave, and have been known to throw up. I think farting in one's own bathroom is fine, but commenting on it afterwards is a little uncouth :)


sofadahl · 07/06/2013 18:23

fadBook how do you brush a fart under the carpet?


LittleMissFuckedOff · 07/06/2013 18:37

Very carefully, I imagine.


VerySmallSqueak · 07/06/2013 18:37

This wise woman says that if you can brush it under the carpet it cannot be classified under the heading of fart.


FadBook · 07/06/2013 18:39

I have a fart brush, it scoops it all up very cleverly Grin


littlepeas · 07/06/2013 18:44

Ooooh I thought he might have been the bloke we sat behind at a school meeting last night, merrily farting away (silent, smelly ones). My dh loves farting. I think all men do.

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