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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hate the term 'a bit OCD' especially when OH says it!!

97 replies

LittleMissGerardButlerfan · 05/06/2013 18:35

I am probably being over sensitive, but it really irritates me!

It seems a common thing to say now, eg ooh I like all my tins facing the same way I'm a bit OCD.

I know it's good people talk about it and are becoming more aware, but they have no idea how crippling it really is :(

You can't be a bit OCD, if you have it, it takes over your life. I'm lucky in that I can manage and it's under control, although its still there all the time.

My OH just said someone was a bit OCD and I just looked at him, he knows how much I hate the term!

I know I am being unreasonable but I wondered if its just me who hates the term?

OP posts:

Sallystyle · 05/06/2013 22:39

I don't actually mind saying I am OCD.

I am not a disorder but it is such a massive part of me that I no longer see a huge difference in being that disorder and having one.

If I didn't have it I have no idea who I would be!

Sallystyle · 05/06/2013 22:39

Thank you Ilovemyself x

Ilovemyself · 05/06/2013 22:42

Elquota. I use an iPad. It was just using the terminology of the original post. I am me, and anything else is just there with me lol

Elquota · 05/06/2013 22:43

ImagineJL · 05/06/2013 23:11

I describe myself as a "bit OCD". I'm a checker. It takes me nearly an hour to lock up and switch lights off in the evening, checking and re-checking. And I often have to go back to the front door to check I've locked it when I go out. I have to tear the toilet roll neatly, and I have to click the lock on my car twice. I have numerous things like this that I can't even think of as they're just incorporated into my life, I'm not even aware I'm doing them any more, but I know if I was prevented from doing them I'd feel uncomfortable.

But I don't view this as in any way disabling, nor does it make me depressed, although it does irritate me at times. I refer to myself as being "a bit OCD" because I know that I'm not at all debilitated by it. But equally it's not "normal".

I would hate to think I'm offending genuine sufferers, so how should I describe myself, when explaining to a friend why I need to check the front door again?

Ilovemyself · 05/06/2013 23:16

ImagineJL. Thanks for your post. You have just made me realise I do the car locking thing as well. And have to go back to the car to check in car parks! Lol

I don't think you are the sort of person the post is targeted at.

Original poster

LittleMissGerardButlerfan · 05/06/2013 23:19

imagineJL this post was not aimed at you, and I can sympathize with the locking thing too, my dad used to do it a lot, still does now but not to the degree he used too.

OP posts:

ImagineJL · 05/06/2013 23:30

I'm not being grumpy, I honestly would like to know how to describe myself when in a casual situation with friends, in which I want to offer some sort of light-hearted explanation for what I do.

I would genuinely like to change what I say if it can offend people.

My brother committed suicide 26 years ago and it still irritates me when people say "if xyz happens I'm going to kill myself". So I really sympathise with the hurt and frustration felt by sufferers of a condition when they hear the terminology being used flippantly.

Original poster

LittleMissGerardButlerfan · 05/06/2013 23:40

I honestly wouldn't take offence at you saying you have OCD traits/are a bit OCD whatever term you want to use, because you aren't saying it in a mocking way iykwim?

Please don't let my thread make you think you can't say it, that certainly wasn't what it was about.

OP posts:

Ilovemyself · 05/06/2013 23:42

I don't think you need to change. You are describing yourself as an actual sufferer. I am pleased that Samu2 saw where I was coming from. If you do offend someone you simply need to explain that you are are sufferer too. Maybe even make it light hearted

working9while5 · 05/06/2013 23:42

I don't know why people are disagreeing here because yeah probably 99% of the population DO have OCD traits because they are normal variations on being human.

OCD on the other hand is a cruel and vicious perpetuator of human distress and self-doubt.

Cleaning and wanting the pictures just so is NOT OCD. Liking a tidy house is NOT OCD.

It's a bit like saying that if you value spending time on your own that you're "a little bit autistic".

Where it pisses me off is when friends have said it to me about fucking well cleaning their kitchen floors when I had described to them what it was like to live with constant visual imagery of my loved ones dying and the endless soul-robbing rituals to try and dull them.

Where someone has explained their condition to someone and they then make light of it, that's just rude and disrespectful - it's not PC in any way.

Maryz · 05/06/2013 23:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ilovemyself · 05/06/2013 23:48

Working9while5. I think that the general consensus here is that people that use it because they like their shoes tidy ate wrong. But the level at which sufferers suffer varies massively. Hence my saying I am a little bit OCD is a genuine comment, ad my tendencies are far less intrusive than others are ( and presumptiously I will say yours sound)

I hope you find the peace you deserve.

Elquota · 05/06/2013 23:49

An alternative to consider could be "I have mild OCD" rather than "I'm a bit OCD", for someone who really does have the disorder.

working9while5 · 05/06/2013 23:49

I do think when I am well I am sort of a "bit OCD" in that I am terribly scatty and disorganised because it's quite hard for me to stop mental compuilsions. I do a lot of repeating of phrases in my head, repetitive verbal loops and even when I am very well it makes keeping the house tidy and my files at work organised a task requiring superhuman energy at times.

I know that when I told work I had OCD they were very about it because I am not tidy or organised when actually that is very much part of my profile. I'm much, much more organised when I am well. It can be utter chaos when I am not because I will start and restart filing again and again and forget my system because it is overcomplicated and then avoid it and then be overwhelmed by it etc etc. The fear is horrendous.

WhiteYFronts · 05/06/2013 23:51

I agree with samu2 it is not necessarily a disorder but just who we are. It seems that we accept that people can be right handed or left handed, they can be gay or straight, athletic or academic but if there is anything different in the way we think then it must be 'wrong' or a 'disorder'.

I dislike people describing themselves as a bit bipolar or OCD or whatever as it does trivialise the experience. Yes you may show those traits but until they take over your life you cannot comprehend what it is like to be dominated by them. I feel it tries to medicalise any deviation from the norm. I also feel it makes like tough for real MH sufferers as if A who is a 'bit OCD' can pull herself together why can't B who is 'a lot OCD'.

My first diagnosis was Pure OCD, then bipolar 2. I now 'suffer' from adult ADHD, or as a specialist I saw put it, there is nothing 'wrong' with me I just think in a different way to the majority of society and the majority don't like that.

working9while5 · 05/06/2013 23:56

WhiteY that is more or less how I see it too in terms of my general personality profile of thinking and how my mind works and connects things. On the other hand, while pregnant I was definitely suffering as everything was a threat and I truly did believe that death was around the corner... but that was an aberration from the way of thinking that is my usual style which is more obsessive than the norm and does make certain procedural things excruciating for me as my brain can't stop its thing to do them very well (and has made driving impossible, for example) but which also has meant I have got a distinction in every academic work I have ever done and have an incredible eye for detail.

Maryz · 05/06/2013 23:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhiteYFronts · 06/06/2013 00:03

working9while5 that could also be less OCD and more of my made up excuse for no discipline ADHD. The original diagnosis I received was OCD, it was more that my mind was in a million places so I couldn't keep track of what was done. I'd recommend reading Delivered from Distraction by Hallowell and seeing if any of it resonates with you. It was the book I was recommended and after being in tears at my new diagnosis (of the 'fake' ADHD, there was nothing wrong with me after all I was just a waste of space) I was in tears at reading such an accurate discription of me, that book is my bible now.

working9while5 · 06/06/2013 00:10

And isn't that true the other way round too Maryz? If only he thought in the right black and white way, he would be deemed fine.

We are all basically living according to a set of verbal rules about how the world operates and we all believe ours to be right. It's pretty lonely when you stand outside of the main verbal community and this is a cause of anxiety and depression. Half the world has some form of anxiety "disorder" with 1 in 4 having mental health conditions. It's just different variations of humanity really. The maladaptive behaviours that can arise out of that are a different set up but the actual difference of beliefs and thoughts isn't that big a deal.

working9while5 · 06/06/2013 00:12

Oh.. interesting WhiteY... I will have a look for that!

WhiteYFronts · 06/06/2013 00:13

working9while5 cross posted but your next post is getting into classic ADHD territory. Def read the Hallowell book as I'm the same. There is a school of thought that the H does not belong in ADHD and it is also confusing as ADHD types are capable of hyperfocusing, we either away with the faries or completely focussed, middle ground is unusual.

I'm not your son maryz but I like his sentiment. As long as no one is being harmed why can't thinking differently and seeing the world through different eyes be nothing but a positive! Life would be forever dull and we'd never develop if we our minds were identical.

Maryz · 06/06/2013 00:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

working9while5 · 06/06/2013 00:25

Oh that is completely me WhiteYFronts... and always has been. I have immense focus and memory.... as well as none. Hope it's on Kindle!

God minds are fascinating things really.

Elquota · 06/06/2013 00:38

I'm glad OCD is recognised as an illness, so that people who are very distressed by suffering from it have the chance to receive suitable treatment if they wish.

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