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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hate the term 'a bit OCD' especially when OH says it!!

97 replies

LittleMissGerardButlerfan · 05/06/2013 18:35

I am probably being over sensitive, but it really irritates me!

It seems a common thing to say now, eg ooh I like all my tins facing the same way I'm a bit OCD.

I know it's good people talk about it and are becoming more aware, but they have no idea how crippling it really is :(

You can't be a bit OCD, if you have it, it takes over your life. I'm lucky in that I can manage and it's under control, although its still there all the time.

My OH just said someone was a bit OCD and I just looked at him, he knows how much I hate the term!

I know I am being unreasonable but I wondered if its just me who hates the term?

OP posts:

Gunznroses · 05/06/2013 20:30

Yes but squeaky what sparkly is saying is you can't be OCD! Anymore than you can be "Tourettes" or "ADHD", your friend has OCD as illness, its not a personality trait. OCD is not a qualifying word.

HollyBerryBush · 05/06/2013 20:31

You can't be a bit OCD, if you have it, it takes over your life.

Yes you can be 'a bit' OCD within areas of your life. I have control over tin lining up wardrobe colour co-ordination and my desk at work

I long since learned I have no control over much else - but I used to control everything before children. Amazing how you do learn to compartmentalise and rationalise your own little peccadillos if you have to.

Original poster

LittleMissGerardButlerfan · 05/06/2013 20:32

I do agree there is a scale and people can have traits, and some people have a milder version than others.

I don't think I perhaps explained myself very well, the thing that annoys me is when people trivialize it, when its a quirk rather than OCD if you know what I mean. It's not up to me to decide whether someone has it or not, and everyone suffers with different things, no 2 people with OCD are the same.

But when people blatantly don't have it and just say, for example, I like a clean house I'm a bit OCD, they mean they just like a clean house, they don't have the terrifying thoughts and anxiety that goes with it, like thinking if I don't clean my toilet everyone will get a bug and be really poorly etc.

I hope that makes sense :)

OP posts:

Ilovemyself · 05/06/2013 20:34

Molly. It was a psychiatrist that used the term trait, and I think she knows what she is talking about after all that training. Yes you either ave it or you don't, but the symptoms can vary wildly.

I think you are being completely unfair to someone that has a much less severe version of the disease that could be described as a trait or disorder.

As I said, using it to describe being tidy is wrong but it doesn't matter what level your symptoms are if you have it.

I could probably describe myself as a little bit OCD, as I do get quite upset with the one thing that affects me ( shutting the front door) if I think I haven't done it, but nothing else does.

Ilovemyself · 05/06/2013 20:35

Littlemiss. The last comment is not unreasonable at all.

Maryz · 05/06/2013 20:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Buddhagirl · 05/06/2013 20:39

I agree, you either have ocd somewhere along the spectrum or you don't, I can see how saying that when you don't have a debilitating illness is offensive.

My mate said it once during an ocd training day, the psychologists took her down! Then got us to wipe our hands on the bottom of our shoes, then lick our hands

RachelHRD · 05/06/2013 20:41

YANBU LittleMiss, as a fellow OCD sufferer it pisses me off to when people trivialize it to suggest that they have OCD because they're like things neat and tidy.

It's an awful, debilitating illness which can take over your whole life and it's a daily struggle to 'manage' it, even with antidepressants, because at the end if the day there is no cure.

Original poster

LittleMissGerardButlerfan · 05/06/2013 20:44

I have no problem if people with OCD make a joke about it, or say I'm a bit OCD, because they are! Me and my neighbor joke about it with each other because we understand how hard it is so feel we can do that.

Buddhagirl if someone made me wipe me hands on my shoe and then lick it I would probably cry and have an anxiety attack thinking of the germs, it makes me feel queasy just thinking about it! :o

OP posts:

Buddhagirl · 05/06/2013 20:51

Yeah as a recovering vomit phobia person it did freak me out a bit! But I did it and nothing bad happened, good learning.

HeffalumpTheFlump · 05/06/2013 20:58

I think there needs to be two different threads here. One saying it's wrong when people say they are 'a bit OCD' to describe being particular or fussy. Then a second thread to say that saying someone is 'a bit OCD' is wrong because a person is not a condition.

Original poster

LittleMissGerardButlerfan · 05/06/2013 21:03

I am happy for it all to be discussed here, I like a good healthy debate, and the more mental health is talked about the better as far as I'm concerned.

OP posts:

Sallystyle · 05/06/2013 21:07

Hate it.

Say you are anal about something, a little obsessive, fussy whatever but unless you actually have OCD you are not a bit OCD.

You can have an obsessive personality, you can even be compulsive in certain areas that doesn't mean you have OCD. You can even have obsessive compulsive personality disorder and still not have OCD.

As an OCD sufferer this crap makes it harder for people to take my illness seriously and then they compare their 'OCD' of needing a rug to be straight etc to my mental illness that has made me want to kill myself time and time again.

Don't get me started on how so many people think OCD is all about washing hands and needing a clean home. I have neither of those compulsion, in fact, my obsessive compulsion are ones that you very rarely hear about.

We are still a long way away from educating people on what OCD really is.

Ilovemyself · 05/06/2013 21:07

It's nice to see a thread that is discussing it without getting all SHOUTY!

Ilovemyself · 05/06/2013 21:17

Samu2. I can see where you are coming from. You are right that people do not understand that it can have many different symptoms.

But isn't an obsessive compulsive personality disorder just a mild form of OCD ( as per my comment from a psychiatrist). I am not trying to belittle your condition or who it manifests itself - it is just some people are lucky not to have the symptoms you do, but are still an obsessive compulsive.

Using myself as an example, I would not get suicidal over my thoughts about whether I have shut my front door or not. Bit it will ruin my weekend as I will spend the whole weekend worrying about it if I do not come back to check.

I hope the help you need is there for you.

Sallystyle · 05/06/2013 21:39

If it will ruin your weekend because you are obsessing then I would class that as OCD. To me, that is affecting your life and happiness enough to be a disorder. Obviously I am not qualified but I have spent years getting to know people with OCD and if you can spend a weekend worrying about a door then it's crossed over into OCD.

Obsessive compulsive personality disorder is slightly different

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Obsessive?compulsive_personality_disorder

And thank you. I am pretty ok right now and I mostly suffer with health anxiety right now. I say that is just another form of OCD as the thoughts and compulsions follow the same pattern but my GP disagrees with me!

Sallystyle · 05/06/2013 21:50

I pressed enter too soon.

Basically, you either have OCD or you don't. You might have a milder form than others but OCD is OCD and if you meet the criteria for it then you have it.

You can be obsessive about certain things but you can't be a little OCD. You either have it or you don't.

You can be obsessive or compulsive about certain things but that isn't the same as actually having the disorder.

I compare it to bi-polar. I can be pretty miserable at times and I can start the day being happy then get into a bad mood. I could say I suffer with mild mood swings but to class it is 'a bit bi-polar' would be factually incorrect and insulting to those who do have it.

Very interesting discussion!

Blueandwhitelover · 05/06/2013 22:16

I think it is perfectly possible to have OCD traits/tendencies. For example,I had to physically get up and go back out to the garden the other day to get the right two pegs on an item of clothing.I couldn't not do it.
I function 'normally' most of the time. I know that when I am stressed about something, the tendencies become more pronounced-not just pegs obviously.

Elquota · 05/06/2013 22:27

You can be obsessive or compulsive about certain things but that isn't the same as actually having the disorder.

Yes, I agree. Just the same as if someone gets headaches sometimes it doesn't mean they are a migraine sufferer, or if someone feels sad one day it doesn't mean they've got clinical depression.

Ilovemyself · 05/06/2013 22:28

Samu2. I would class myself as a little bit OCD as it is the only thing that really affects me ( my 13 phobia has been banished lol). And as long as I stick to my rituals the door isn't an issue.

My ex business partners wife was completely different. Not only did she obsess about leaving children locked in the class room ( especially on a Friday) but she also had a germ issue with her underwear. It resulted in the washing machine being on constantly and eventual admission to hospital after self harm. I wouldn't say she had a lot of OCD however.

I think we will probably disagree on how we describe it, but will definitely agree that the public need to be better educated.

Sallystyle · 05/06/2013 22:32

Wouldn't you just have obsessive compulsive traits?

I don't see the need to attach the D on the end because D stands for disorder. Why not just say you have OC traits, plenty people are obsessive and compulsive without having the disorder.

You don't hear many people saying they have depression traits or bi-polar traits.

My husband who has bi-polar is often very 'moody' and I get moody too. I don't have bi-polar traits, I am just a moody person.

Maybe it's just semantics at this point though :)

For me, attaching the D on the end makes it so much different but at the same time I am kinda seeing that for others saying they have OC traits and OCD traits isn't very different.

I think when OCD has greatly affected your life it's very annoying to hear people say they are a little OCD and we can take it as people belittling the illness. It has become a phrase you hear all the time and when telling people I have OCD it has become very clear that the meaning of the word has been watered down by the constant mis-use of the word.

Sallystyle · 05/06/2013 22:33

people posted while I was posting. This place moves fast

Elquota · 05/06/2013 22:34

Ilovemyself do you not think that you "have" OCD though, rather than you "are" OCD?

I wouldn't want to feel I was labelling myself as being a disorder, rather that I was still myself, and the illness was something that was affecting me.

Sallystyle · 05/06/2013 22:36

Ilovemyself. Your post has been very insightful and has shown me that not everyone who says 'a little bit OCD' is belittling the illness.

Ilovemyself · 05/06/2013 22:38

Your last paragraph actually says it all. It's back to education again.

Btw - since I joined this site I have been called a troll on several occasions. I shall point them here to show how wrong they can be.

Hope you and your husband face life with a smile and remember the good things when things seem like the end of the world.

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