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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be upset at neighbours accusing my boy of misbehaving outside?

48 replies

prettybutclumpy · 04/06/2013 21:59

I'll keep it brief, but my blood is boiling! DS (7) plays out on street with his pals. Neighbour has now knocked on my door twice accusing him or two of the other kids of scratching his car, or today rather amusingly leaving a rock (about the size of half a brick) at the side of his wife's car. He brought along his student son for ?protection, too - I must be v scary.

AIBU to feel that my child should be able to play on his own street, particularly when these neighbours have not seen him do anything wrong?

OP posts:
DiscoDonkey · 04/06/2013 22:02

I don't know really, did he scratch the car? My neighbour complains that the neighbourhood kids ride their scooters too close to his car but then he insists on parking it half on the pavement so I don't feel to inclined to tell them to be carefull.

Nokidshere · 04/06/2013 22:02

It depends on what he is doing (your son that is)

Original poster
prettybutclumpy · 04/06/2013 22:04

Hi both
as far as I know he has done nothing! Def not scratched the car as we discussed it. And the rock? Maybe he did put it on the grass (public) next to her car, but no damage was done, and I am not going to wake him up to ask him. No crime there, is there?

OP posts:
ImagineJL · 04/06/2013 22:05

Why would they leave a rock by his wife's car?

GoblinGranny · 04/06/2013 22:05

Did the neighbours say that they had seen him scratch the car, or throw the brick?
Or is he hanging around with his mates and one of them is doing the damage, but the neighbour doesn't know which one?
Or is the neighbour lying?
What exactly are they playing?

HollyBerryBush · 04/06/2013 22:06

or today rather amusingly leaving a rock (about the size of half a brick)

I'd call that half a fucking brick let alone a rock.

Why are they accusing him, if they have seen him do no wrong?

squeakytoy · 04/06/2013 22:06

sorry but you are possibly seeing your child as an angel while others know different.. I can remember being 7 and the sort of tricks we got up to playing out.. and the lies we told to our parents..

Original poster
prettybutclumpy · 04/06/2013 22:08

God knows! There are a few large stones in the grassy public area behind some bushes. His point was that they must have been throwing them around and therefore this one could have damaged his wife's car (but didn't). There were loads of kids playing up there yesterday, so probably not my son, but they did single him and two neighbour brothers out, and have been at both houses this evening, clutching the rock I might add - rather threatening, no?

OP posts:
GoblinGranny · 04/06/2013 22:08

I used to dislike the children who played out in our street because they did throw things, get into fights, pull up stuff in people's front yards and spit everywhere. They also played football in and around the cars, moving or not.

GoblinGranny · 04/06/2013 22:09

Why threatening? They were showing you what they saw as evidence.

Original poster
prettybutclumpy · 04/06/2013 22:10

Goblin, they say they haven't seen who has done these things. They have no evidence! I am unsure whether they were playing with this half brick at all, the two brothers say no, and my one is in bed!

OP posts:
HollyBerryBush · 04/06/2013 22:10

I'd suggest your neighbour gets the PCSOs to talk to all the children about appropriate behaviour in public and respect for neighbourhood property

Original poster
prettybutclumpy · 04/06/2013 22:11

Goblin have you ever rung someone's doorbell with a half brick in your hand?

OP posts:
MalcolmTuckersMum · 04/06/2013 22:11

Are there no gardens for them to play in?

saintmerryweather · 04/06/2013 22:11

tbh id be pissed off if your kid was chucking bricks around near my car

GoblinGranny · 04/06/2013 22:11

You have no idea if he was misbehaving or not.

Original poster
prettybutclumpy · 04/06/2013 22:13

Goblin, just read your post about your neighbourhood kids. They do sound horrid. The kids round here are not like that at all - no fights, absolutely no spitting, no pulling up things. They play football but it is a culdesac and they play on the road with a light ball

OP posts:
GoblinGranny · 04/06/2013 22:15

No, I haven't rung someone's doorbell with a half brick.
I did go round to the hose that the twins lived in and pointed out that they'd been seen trashing my front yard and ripping up the plants and the mother denied that they'd done it and accused me of being vindictive.
I told her that I was delighted that her angels hadn't been involved, as all the plants were highly toxic and that even if they hadn't eaten any of them, skin contact and rubbing eyes or picking noses would be enough to trigger all sorts of nasty symptoms of poisoning and potentially death.
I was so happy her two were safe.
Then I went home.

GoblinGranny · 04/06/2013 22:16

I don't live there any more, it wasn't an area I wanted to raise a family in.

Original poster
prettybutclumpy · 04/06/2013 22:17

ha ha revenge must have been sweet for you!

OP posts:
Original poster
prettybutclumpy · 04/06/2013 22:19

good plan. I have to say that this situation is making us want to move too. It is an area with many young families, and as I said we live on a culdesac. We are v happy that our children can play out safely, and they have lots of friends here. There is no evidence that my son has done anything wrong, but these neighbours are coming round to my house because they don't know the parents of the other kids who play around here.

OP posts:
DrGoogleWillSeeYouNow · 04/06/2013 22:22

You thought the half a brick deliberately left next to a car is 'amusing', but then its suddenly 'threatening' when it's at your front door?

I think you need to have a word with your child about not playing with stones near people's cars.

DiscoDonkey · 04/06/2013 22:24

I think the best thing you can do is talk to your DS and tell him to try his best to stay away from your neighbours car/house so there can be no misunderstandings in the future.
If your neighbour comes round again I would ask "when did you see DS doing this?" If he didn't see it ask him how he knows it was your DS.

Chandras · 04/06/2013 22:29

I think that a neighbour needs to be very fed up to complain. Rather than getting all defensive, I would start keeping a close eye on the children and correct any inconsiderate behaviour.

Children can be very intimidating without causing actual damage to other people's property. They don't need to scratch a car throwing a brick to it, the mere act of throwing the brick for it to land near the car must have your poor neighbours on edge.

mynewpassion · 04/06/2013 22:34

Have you had a conversation with your child about respecting your neighbor's property, including their cars?

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