WIBU to sell my husband on Ebay?

[MacaYoniandCheese]

He came into the kitchen this morning and announced that he had unloaded 'my' dishwasher for 'me' last night so, obviously, he has to go.

How would one go about wording this? I'm thinking that he'd be best described as 'pre-owned, with defects'. He is well-loved and showing light signs of wear but is otherwise in good working order. Or perhaps I'd get more for him if I listed him as 'vintage'? He was issued in 1974 though, so that might be pushing it a bit. He has an annoyingly small appetite and a distaste for buying things, which makes him fairly cost-effective but do you think that might frighten off potential bidders? Bit of a delicate matter so I'd appreciate any ideas, particularly from any MN wordsmiths/Ebay experts. Also, if anyone is interested in bidding on him you can pm me for more details and exact measurements (serious enquiries only, please).

You might be expecting too much aiming for Ebay. Have you thought of FreeCycle?

I'd use that collect-plus.
Royal mail have put their prices up and I've heard bad stuff about Hermes.

I'm sorry but you can't put him on ebay, I think you need to look at freecycle....

Any chance of reprogramming the current model? It might save you time and energy rather than having to reprogram a new one. Vintage can be quite cool if updated properly.

I'm afraid Ebay don't allow you to sell livestock.

I find that items which are no longer of use to me but still have a bit of life left in them go well if placed on the front lawn adorned with a sign saying "Free to a good home."

I would phrase him as 'in good used condition'.

Start bidding at around £2.99 so people think they are getting something too good to let go for 99p.

Or you could market him in a job lot with something that is actually useful....

Hmm, with that sort of outlook on domestic chores, I think I'd have to list him as "for spares or repair".

These are excellent suggestions...I hadn't thought about free-cycle. Actually, it's bulk-waste collection in our neighbourhood this week so I could put him to the curb, might save a bit of faff. Seems a shame though, he's quite serviceable...seems a shame to let him go for nothing.

Broken - selling for spare parts only.

I saw an advert one time when I was quite small in a shop.
It said:
"My husband said either the cat went or he did. So One Husband for sale, regrettably doesn't like cats but otherwise in fairly good condition for his age £50." And at the bottom in small writing "or you can have the cat (neutered 2yo) for £5"

My dm had to explain to me that the husband wasn't really up for sale.

there is bound to be someone out there with a compliant dishwasher but with scuppered knees.

You could try swapping him for something? Does your area have a Facebook page for 'ForSale, Free, Wanted or Swap'?

You could try to sell a lifestyle.

Dress him up in a dinner jacket and go down to the nearest car showroom to photograph him next to the most expensive car.

Include a free bottle of champagne and some paper cups.

Do a BOGOF (with Sean Bean as the freebie).

Have you considered the 'Pre-Loved' site? Swap for a pair of boots you always wanted? In case of lack of interest could you hire him out for chores?

Am liking the 'lifestyle package' idea. He does look nice scrubbed up. Not sure about the Sean Bean BOGOF though; I,m pretty sure you'd have to pay someone to take him off your hands .

Swapping him for boots is my favourite idea so far...

Yep, freecycle him. Or see if there is a car boot going on sometime.

'Buyer collects', of course.

Could you part exchange him for a more 'useful' model?

MACAYONI cracking NN!!

I'm sorry but he sounds like he's no use at all.
All I can think of is as stuffing for toys, if you're feeling crafty.

tearing him up into dishcloths would be delightfully fitting.

Does he have a large cock and a useful tongue?

I know a couple of women who might be interested .....

Small appetite not a problem but teeny cock would be.

What if he sells you first?