Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

To find constant humming and singing really annoying (trivial)

44 replies

Tailtwister · 04/06/2013 09:37

My DM is currently staying with us and she's either talking (at me), singing or humming. The only time she's actually silent is when she's asleep. The first thing I wake up to in the morning is her bloody singing. It's driving me insane! I actually counted the seconds she was silent yesterday and the longest I got to was 5 before she was making some kind of noise again.

I do wonder if there's something wrong with me that makes me so irritated by it. I remember it driving me mad when I was a child, so much so that I used to sit with my fingers in my ears when I was in the car with her.

So, am I weird? Is it just me or would other people find this madness inducing too? I'm at the point where I have to go out into the garden to get away from her before I rip her bloody head off snap at her. Then she follows me out there too! What can I do? I've tried being really obvious by turning up the TV or radio to drown her out, but she doesn't seem to take the hint.

(She also eats with her mount open, but we'll not go into that...)

OP posts:

chocoluvva · 04/06/2013 09:42

Ah. Tricky.

FruOla · 04/06/2013 09:43

She's probably got to the stage that she doesn't realise she's doing it now. Mention it to her, but I guess it's a habit that she'll find hard to break.

DP has occasional bouts of singing for hours on end - it drives me absolutely crazy and I finally have to resort to telling him to SHUT UP, although I don't really like to put a dampener on his exuberance. At least it's only now and then, though.

DawnOfTheDee · 04/06/2013 09:46

When I'm at my desk I like to 'sing' the theme tune from Indiana Jones quietly. It makes my office work seem quite exciting but I'm sure everyone else hates me.

Do do do dooooo, do do dooooo,,,,,,,,do do do dooooo, do do doo doo doo

Original poster

Tailtwister · 04/06/2013 09:46

I think you're right FruOla, I don't think she's aware of it. I did mention it to her once, but she really took offence and made it out to be my problem. It just feels like torture to me, no silence to think at all.

OP posts:

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 04/06/2013 09:46

Sounds awful, I hate random, constant noise too... my husband does this and I visibly flinch when I hear his key in the door. Sometimes I can hear him whistling while walking up the path too...

FruOla · 04/06/2013 09:50

My Mum, who was tone deaf so didn't sing as a rule, had one tuneless tune which she always used to hum whenever she was reversing or parking the car. I once said something to her about her 'parking tune' and she didn't have a clue what I was talking about!

Original poster

Tailtwister · 04/06/2013 09:51

I'm glad I'm not the only one LyingWitch. It's not even a recognisable tune most of the time, just random humming. Oh God, she's at it again. 7 seconds silence that time, so maybe by the time she leaves I'll be getting a full 30 seconds...

OP posts:

Thumbtack · 04/06/2013 09:51

I dont minding humming/singing so much as my aunt someone doing a running commentary if what they are doing . . .

' I'm just looking at these mugs, now which mug shall i choose? Shall i choose this mug? Yes, this mug is nice . Now which biscuit?

just choose the damn mug!

Maybe your quite sensitive to sounds? I find listening to two 'sources' of sounds at once, such as someone talking to me whilst on the phone, very difficult!

Peevish · 04/06/2013 09:53

My father has just been staying with us, and he constantly sings and hums but - get this - ONLY the same four or five tunes/songs he's been singing since I was a small child. Some Flanders and Swan thing, the theme tune to The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, etc. He has, I believe, undiagnosed Aserger's, which I think must contribute in some way to the repetition. But it is MADDENING.

bulletwithbutterflywings · 04/06/2013 09:55

DP hums all the time, it really makes me want to punch his stupid face annoys me.

bulletwithbutterflywings · 04/06/2013 09:56

and he whistles.

Thumbtack · 04/06/2013 09:57

Just clarify; * Someone talking to me, whilst I was also on the phone to someone else . . Obviously!

lottiegarbanzo · 04/06/2013 10:03

I'd tell her it is indeed your problem and, odd as this may make you, it's how you are and you need some quiet time. So, you are now going into the garden to spend half an hour (that's until twenty to...) by yourself, with no interruptions. Does she think she can occupy herself without your help for that long? Ok, see you at...time.

(Count the interruptions, take a note. Ask her to try harder next time.)

Has she been a housewife / retired for a long time? She's probably very used to occupying her own space, filling it with sound to make it more hers.

FruOla · 04/06/2013 10:10

I've got a friend who has to fill a silence with humming - although I don't think she does it all the time. But when there's a group of you having a chat and the conversation comes to its natural conclusion, but before another topic has started, she has to fill that 'in between silence' with humming.

The odd thing is, that I find her humming makes me feel more stressed about finding something else to talk about, rather than a few moments silence before naturally moving on to something else.

Original poster

Tailtwister · 04/06/2013 10:38

That's a good idea lottie, I'll give your suggestion a go. I will let you know how I get on...

OP posts:

MinesADecaff · 04/06/2013 10:43

YANBU I hate it. DSD has just learned to whistle and it really gets on my tits.

Latara · 04/06/2013 10:43

Men. Whistling. Aargh!! Why not just shut up? I don't walk round singing all the time so why do they have to whistle 'a tune' ffs.

dancingwithmyselfandthecat · 04/06/2013 10:45

You have ny every sympathy. I had DM looking after Me yestyesterday and she just couldn't stop making noise (I have a burst eardrum so it was physically painful). I would suggest you mention it politely, in terms that you suggest that you consider it your problem but you NEED silence for your psychological wellbeing.

gnushoes · 04/06/2013 10:46

My late MiL started humming tunelessly. Early stages of dementia.

Fakebook · 04/06/2013 10:47

Yanbu! My DH does this. He's humming and singing all the bloody time. It's embarrassing when he does it when we're out and explodes into a song out of the blue! I just cringe.

At least your mum shuts up when she's asleep. My DH snores through the night too.

ilovechips · 04/06/2013 10:47

Whistling - is there a more annoying noise? It makes me feel completely murderous! Shut up! It's not tuneful or nice and I don't need to know nor care actually if you're feeling cheerful!!! Rant over....

Mixxy · 04/06/2013 10:53

My MIL constantly narrates her day. "Just getting the wash done now, its been a week. Some much laundry. I never used to use softner. Probably didnt have it until the mid 70s. Does it it much? Sure! You'll know a load wothout it. Don't remember if we had scratchy clothes as a child..."

Unless you are James Joyce, STFU. Nobody wants to hear your stream of consciousness babble.

Mamafratelli · 04/06/2013 10:55

That is annoying! No advice sorry except maybe put the radio on. My ds sings non stop but he's three. I can now tune it out but tuned back in last night to hear him singing "I'm a wrestler and I like pretty ladies".

Futterby · 04/06/2013 10:55

My mum does this but we've come to an agreement that she can sing if she likes but not.... dee. It was always "deeeee dedede deedee deeeeeee dee deeeeee" and my god, it made me want to pull my ears off. Now I just go "mum, you're deeing again." And she'll switch to singing, which isn't so bad :P

curryeater · 04/06/2013 10:59

This is horrific. They do this to people in Guantanemo even though it is actually outlawed by the Geneva Convention.*

This is why I love DP. He is so quiet and nice.

My mother and my sister are like this and are the reason why I had mental health problems as a child and teen.** I shared a room with my sister and could sit in it for hours in silence and the second she appeared it was like being blasted into one of those early 90s childrens / teens TV programmes where everything is shrieky banality and violently crude post-prod graphics.

I have no idea what happens if you ask people who do this to stop, assertively and politely, as an adult. My experience of asking people to stop as a child / teenager is that somehow I always did it wrong (or was portrayed as doing it wrong, or both) so I was unreasonable and in trouble. I still struggle internally with asking for things of people that I actually need as I am so used to it becoming a horrible confrontation in which I am BAD, and am constantly blown away by the reasonable way DP will (often) respond to requests that I have agonised for days over making, anticipating rows, punishment, anger, and guilt.

Sorry, no help here, other than YES IT IS HELL

*This may not be strictly true.

**Maybe. Partly.

Flip

1 2