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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think he should put his fucking legs together?

33 replies

SoftlySoftly · 03/06/2013 20:38

I'm going to be on this rammed sweaty train for another 2hrs.

I'm not going to be able to pick up my kids until midnight.

And I'm sat next to a selfish leaning sprawler biting his bastard nails.

IANBU to think he should put his damn legs together??

Caveat ! Its not his fault I'm late, but my hatred had narrowed down and pinpoints on him now!

OP posts:
snooter · 03/06/2013 20:39

Could you summon up a fart? That might help.

SPsCliffingAllOverMN · 03/06/2013 20:39

Men need ball space dont ya know Grin

NeoMaxiZoomDweebie · 03/06/2013 20:40

OPen your legs sharply. With all the force you can muster but do it whilst coughing violently.

Squigglypig · 03/06/2013 20:40

Nothing worse than men who sit like their balls are the size of baseballs. YANBU

LRDtheFeministDragon · 03/06/2013 20:40

Which side of you is he on? If you're in the window seat, ask him to get up so you can just straighten out a crink in your leg, and sit back down with your legs merrily akimbo and your elbow on the armrest.

Or, get busy with spreading papers.

Crunchymunchyhoneycakes · 03/06/2013 20:43

Ask him to help you spell testicular elephantiasis. If he says he can't then feign surprise as you'd assumed he must be suffering from it.

MrsBucketxx · 03/06/2013 20:44

broadsheet papers work wonders for this read in full page

KenDoddsDadsDog · 03/06/2013 20:45

crunchy that sounded like a top tip from Viz Grin

Salmotrutta · 03/06/2013 20:45

Could be worse.

He could be a true Scotsman wearing a kilt.

HollyBerryBush · 03/06/2013 20:46

Is it really so difficult to say "excuse me, but you are sprawling into my space, would you mind keeping to your own?"

The ability to directly communicate, it really is dead.

Yonihadtoask · 03/06/2013 20:46

Gah! I had this on a flight last week.

I just kept pressing my leg up against his. I was slightly worried he may have thought I was trying it on though.

Also had to fight for the armrest.

ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 03/06/2013 20:47

Do you have a hot coffee you could spill in his lap?

FobblyWoof · 03/06/2013 20:48

Urge I hate this! Smoosh your leg rig up against his. It's going to get awkward, maybe it'll force his hand

Yonihadtoask · 03/06/2013 20:48

fobblywoof You didn't finish your sentence.

Force his hand... ????? where???

Yikes!! Grin

LRDtheFeministDragon · 03/06/2013 20:49

Can you ring someone and have a long, detailed conversation about how STDs are on the rise and there's this new one that starts with a sort of itching in the testacles that builds and builds until they feel all red and sore and men can't bear to have anything touching them ....

Usually describing itching at length makes people feel it, doesn't it?

IfNotNowThenWhen · 03/06/2013 20:51

I have asked the supposedly giant testicled to please give me some more room plenty of times. Usually the embarrassment causes their testicles to shrink like magic..
But, what is that about, when men sit on public transport like that??
When I was young and green I would find myself making myself as small as possible in these situations. Now, however, my balls are a LOT bigger!

Original poster
SoftlySoftly · 03/06/2013 20:53

These are cheering me up. I have summoned the temerity to squoosh my leg and arm into his and pointedly lower the Central armrest.

Worked for 5 minutes until he slowly spread again and leaned over the shared rest fucker.

Holly directly communicate an issue Shock, but I'm British. Anyway he's wearing an ipod and humming.

OP posts:
MousyMouse · 03/06/2013 20:54

I am ruthless now.
I just open my legs as well and refuse to be squashed.

curious question: is he 'wafting' his legs open and shut?

CharlieUniformNovemberTango · 03/06/2013 20:59

You need to go on youtube and search for videos of men getting smacked HARD in the testicles then make sure you angle your phone so he can see them.

I've never seen a man watch that kind of video without pulling their legs tightly together :o

ihearsounds · 03/06/2013 20:59

Tap him on the shoulder and ask for a refund of your ticket. Seems only fair that he should pay you a fraction of the cost considering he is using you space as well.

Yonihadtoask · 03/06/2013 21:02

How old is he? and how old are you?

I ask because I find that the older I get the more I dare do/say.

If it were a teenager - I would just say - oy, move over please. But that is because I am a parent of teenagers. (and am an old fart in mid 40s..)

StuntGirl · 03/06/2013 21:02

Just tap him on the arm so he takes his headphones out and say "Excuse me, but there's no way your balls are that big. Can you move your leg please?"

Original poster
SoftlySoftly · 03/06/2013 21:03

Charlie I'm on it!

Mousy just open and slowly leeeeeaning his upper body further and further into my side. Is wafting something I should be concerned about Confused

OP posts:
CaurnieBred · 03/06/2013 21:05

I had this on the tube today. Pressing my leg against his made no difference so in the end I just pushed his leg over out of the way.

Original poster
SoftlySoftly · 03/06/2013 21:05

Yoni I'm 36 I'm guessing he's about the same maybe a little younger, bearded so hard to tell.

I would have said something as a teenager not sure where my reticence comes from now.

OP posts:
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