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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to display a picture of dp's ex on my wall?

38 replies

NachoAddict · 02/06/2013 21:30

When dp moved in my two children already shared a room which dsd also shared when she came but she always called it dc1 and 2's room.

My brother who was using the other room has now moved out so dc1 now has his own room and I have redecorated the second room did Dd and dsd.

Both girls are 5 so to avoid a pink princess explosion we didn't give either girl a say in the decor and just did it as a surprise.

Dp thinks that dsd won't think of it as her room still rather she will just think it is dd's room. I really want it to feel like its her's too so thought I could get one of those multi picture frames for the wall with a picture of her mum and her new baby sister in, along with a pi,fire of her and her dad.

We all get along ok but dp thinks it would be a stupid idea. Aibu to think dsd would like it?

OP posts:
YoniBottsBumgina · 02/06/2013 21:31

It's not your wall though really, it's your DD/SD's wall. So not weird at all IMO. It would be a bit bizarre in the middle of your living room or something.

Vivacia · 02/06/2013 21:32

I think it sounds a nice idea, especially if it's with a few other photos of other loved ones.

cardibach · 02/06/2013 21:32

I think it is a lovely idea - it's great that you want her to feel at home. I have pictures of my DD's half sisters (her dad and second wife's children) in my house as they are her family. If you are being stupid, so am I!

quesadilla · 02/06/2013 21:36

I think it sounds like a nice way to make her feel welcome (assuming, as seems very likely, that your dsd likes the idea.)

I can't see why your dp would have a problem with it, unless he really hates her guts....

stealthsquiggle · 02/06/2013 21:37

Sounds lovely. What is DH's problem? Are you going to do one for DD too?

thefuturesnotourstosee · 02/06/2013 21:38

Its a lovely idea. Maybe talk to DSD and ask her to choose the photos so she feels she has a say in that at least.

Its good you feel you can do this. To be honest I only have to HEAR DP's ex's name for my blood pressure to start rising but she has behaved really appallingly to the extent that DD point blank refuses to see her

Jinsei · 02/06/2013 21:39

Yes, why not? You sound very kind. :)

pinkballetflats · 02/06/2013 21:40

If only all step parents could be like you. It's a lovely idea

SarahAndFuck · 02/06/2013 21:40

It's a lovely idea.

You could also put both their names on the door or initials on the wall above their beds etc.

NatashaBee · 02/06/2013 21:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LtEveDallas · 02/06/2013 21:42

DSD has always had a room with us with one photo of her and her dad (my DH) and one of her and her mum. In her mums house she has one of her and DD in her bedroom.

It's not weird, it's welcoming and understanding.

MammaTJ · 02/06/2013 21:43

Sounds like a brilliant idea. I also like the idea of both names on the wall. Search wall stickers on eBay for some lovely ones.

Original poster
NachoAddict · 02/06/2013 21:44

Thanks, I am glad you don't all think I am crazy.

DP is civil with her but is hardly her biggest fan which is why he's not keen on the idea but it's not like he will be spending much time in the room to see it.

stealth I will do one for DD too, I was thinking of getting their names in those stickarounds with the corresponding frame underneath.

Yoni Imagine that, we could have her and my exh smiling down from the mantlepiece!

OP posts:
LEMisdisappointed · 02/06/2013 21:45

Its a nice enough idea, but why not just let her have some say in the photos, decorations etc ?

Original poster
NachoAddict · 02/06/2013 21:46

crossed posts there RE the wall stickers! There are some lovely ones to choose from.

I am glad that there are a few others too who have this kind of thing.

OP posts:
EllaFitzgerald · 02/06/2013 21:48

I think it's a lovely idea and something that she'll probably appreciate much more as she gets older.

Original poster
NachoAddict · 02/06/2013 21:50

LEM she can have a say in the photos, neither girl got a say in the decor as I really didn't want pink fluffly princesss and glitter.

I have done pastel green walls with multi coloured butterflies and owls on the walls and pink curtains, lampshade and rug. They have multicoloured owl bedding and cushions with lights wrapped around the ends of the beds. It is cute and girl without being vomit inducing.

DD LOVES it even though she didnt get a say in it either, DSD hasn't seen it yet.

OP posts:
Thisisaeuphemism · 02/06/2013 21:53

My DS has lots of pics of him and his Dad (my ex) in his room. Its nice, surely.

LEMisdisappointed · 02/06/2013 22:00

Sounds just lovely Nacho :) Can you come and do my DD's room! I am totally with you re pinkness - yuck! I just meant, maybe it would be better to let her choose the pictures as maybe she might not want a picture of her mum on the wall in her "other" house, if that makes sense? Maybe suggest she has one and see what she says?

Original poster
NachoAddict · 02/06/2013 22:09

Oh I hadn't thought of that, I think I will let the girls choose the frames and ask them who they want in there. Good thinking.

OP posts:
IKnowWhat · 02/06/2013 22:11

I think it's a lovely idea. Flowers for being a nice Mum.

MimiSunshine · 02/06/2013 22:33

Have a look on the Next website (home furnishing) they have some Great Wall stickers which can be personalised

voucherprocon · 02/06/2013 22:36

Lovely idea.

Original poster
NachoAddict · 02/06/2013 22:38

Thanks IKnowWhat Grin

I will pop over to the next site now, thanks.

OP posts:
HerrenaHarridan · 02/06/2013 22:46

Ha!

Well done op exactly the right attitude IMO!

I have pics of myself and my ex up in dds room back when we were crazy in love with each other, the people that conjured my dd into this world.

It makes me feel physically sick and shaky to look at it so I put it in a place that you can see from dds bed but not if you just wander in.

Best of both worlds, dd has a constant reminder of her not quite absent father but I don't have to actually look at his lying, selfish arseface!

Hth Smile

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