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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

New school welcome

54 replies

ColdWindsOfSuburbia · 01/06/2013 22:12

So we move house.

Phone school next door to ask to look around. They say "we don't do tours, because we're oversubscribed - and it would only lead to disappointment". Fair enough.

Letter from the council comes offering 4yo DS a place at the school. The week before we go in to return our forms & collect our uniform - the secretary says "do you know how lucky you are to get a place? We're very over-subscribed".

So we say - yes - we're very appreciative etc etc - can we look around now? Left it with them; they call up: please come five minutes early on the first day.

Five minutes early we come, stand like lemons in DS classroom - then leave.

Six weeks in I'm still needing to ask other parents for directions to eg school hall, I haven't a clue who is who other than DS class teacher (don't know TA name, for example). Haven't spoken a full sentence to DS teacher in the whole time. If I ask how DS is settling she says "fine".

Am I being a princess expecting a little more?

OP posts:

Original poster

ColdWindsOfSuburbia · 01/06/2013 22:22

Princessy, foot-stampy bump

OP posts:

Littleturkish · 01/06/2013 22:25

More info please- age, reasons for move, what point in school year did DS start, when is parents eve, have you expressed disappointment at the tour that never was?

Littleturkish · 01/06/2013 22:26

Crap, you said 4yo.

So sept start?

HollyBerryBush · 01/06/2013 22:30

Why do you need to know where the school hall is?

I work on the premis, they phone me with problems, otherwise all is fine.

Why do you need interaction with a class teacher? Do you have any idea how far back staff meetings would be put back every night if teacher had to have a 5 min chat with every parent?

Original poster

ColdWindsOfSuburbia · 01/06/2013 22:30

He's a summer-born currently in Reception year - who started immediately after Easter after we moved house.

OP posts:

McNewPants2013 · 01/06/2013 22:33

Never had a tour of DS school, it is a common thing.

Floggingmolly · 01/06/2013 22:36

You're ds is an in-year admission? When exactly do you imagine the teacher is going to have time to give you the royal tour around the school, and why is it necessary?
I'm assuming the other parents don't hang around chatting with the teacher after school either. You seem to have very unrealistic expectations of your role in the school.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 01/06/2013 22:40

Our school gives a tour to in year admissions. It is not a strange thing to do.

hottea7 · 01/06/2013 22:41

When my children started a new school we were invited in for a tour and a meeting with the head and class teachers standard procedure where I live.

Original poster

ColdWindsOfSuburbia · 01/06/2013 22:42

It's daft things like there was a letter sent home asking for something to be brought to the school hall - and we went to the wrong hall and kind of wandered about wondering why no one was there.

DS obviously chatters about school - and is young enough to still think I know everything and lean on me for moral support over trivial issues. It's weird that I don't know his TA name (and DS keeps changing his mind over what she's called).

It just seems discourteous to not do orientaiton/introduction for new members of the community.

OP posts:

Sam100 · 01/06/2013 22:43

I would have expected a chance to look around the school before sending my child there. We have in year starters at dd's school and they get tours before they decide.

You should be able to book some time with the teacher after school hours. Parents would normally get a scheduled parents meeting in the first half term when they start. Not usually any scheduled parents evenings in the summer term in my experience. So ring up and ask when would be a convenient time to meet with the class teacher to find out how they are settling in. The good news is that if there were any issues they would probably have called you in by now!

TapselteerieO · 01/06/2013 22:43

I don't think YABU - but I live in Scotland and have never experienced a different system, my dd has been to 3 primary schools, two different nurseries, due to rented house moves plus one job move. We have always been welcome to view each school, with a tour.

Your school sounds horribly unwelcoming , but it could just be the school secretary? I have met some who can be a bit full of their own importance.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 01/06/2013 22:44

YANBU. Make an appointment to see the teacher to discuss your DC and how he is settling in etc.

Original poster

ColdWindsOfSuburbia · 01/06/2013 22:47

It needled slightly that there were several 'support your school' money begging letters in the joiners pack - but no 'welcome to the school' letter from the HT.

OP posts:

TapselteerieO · 01/06/2013 22:48

Oh and one school my dd went to had a lot of raf children, so lots of people starting throughout the school year, due to relocation and they were all welcome to see the school before they started, even with just a few days notice and because the numbers changed frequently within the school yr it could be very short staffed, but still welcoming.

arethereanyleftatall · 01/06/2013 22:49

yanbu. I think atour is normal. Its not like you're not grateful your ds got a place in their wonderful school, just you want to know something about it. Reasonable since your 4 yr old will be there all day.

5madthings · 01/06/2013 22:51

Yanbu I have done an in yr move three times with mine and we were given a tour by the head teacher and got to meet the teachers our children would have. The primary school age children were invited to go along for a day and join the classes they would be in to get a feel for the school before they officially started.

Fgs its important that you know and are happy with the school your child goes to. I wouldn't send my children to a school I haven't looked around.

When we are moving primaries for ds1 and ds2 we looked around three different ones, simply phones them up, explained we were looking to move schools and asked to look around all were more than happy to show us around. Any school that wasn't would lose us as a prospective patent straight away!

Smartiepants79 · 01/06/2013 22:53

Think that's a bit crap to be fair.
We take anyone who wants to come and have a look round our school. I think it's a very important part of choosing a school.
If I can't look round a school then my DD will not be going there.
Very complacent.
What happens if they are suddenly not oversubscribed? Who's going to choose them then?

apostropheuse · 01/06/2013 22:53

Why didn't you just ask where the hall is when you went to the school? I thought all schools now had secure entry systems, so surely someone had to "buzz you in"?

Fakebook · 01/06/2013 22:53

Yanbu. Dd's school is in the centre of a very popular town and is over subscribed, but a year before dd got her place I phoned up and was give a whole tour of the school by the headteacher herself from foundation stage to year 6, including the gym, assembly/lunch hall. We went inside lessons to see the children interacting so I had a feel of how pupils behaved. I was asked to take dd along too, so she could see around. We were there for 1.5 hours and the HT then took us back to the office for any more questions I'd like to ask. Needless to say, it's one of the best schools in the city because of the HT.

The least you deserve is a welcome to the school. Very bad on part of the school IMO.

marriedinwhiteagain · 01/06/2013 22:56

Schools, even good ones, need to be aware that parents have choices. I would have expected a tour and a meeting with the head and class teacher before accepting a place. End of. If that hadn't been granted willingly we would have waved adieu.

HollyBerryBush · 01/06/2013 22:56

Spot tours for casual admissions are nice, but not run of the mill - well not for an over subscribed school. You are just thankful you are there. Apparently!

KitNCaboodle · 01/06/2013 22:59

YANBU
I have had mid term starters and have always tried to meet with parents and child beforehand, often during PPA time and especially if the child was KS1.
The parents would also have had a tour of the school, usually from the Head boy and girl.
I would also be sure to check in with the parents at the end of the day on the first day and a few times again over the next few weeks to reassure them, ask/answer questions etc.

I would definitely ask to meet with the class teacher for an update. don't forget to doff your cap, courtesy and say how terribly grateful you are that your child is at their precious school!

LindyHemming · 01/06/2013 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

5madthings · 01/06/2013 23:01

I moved house and school frequently as a child, every time we had a tour of the local schools, it was standard and it is here as well even with oversubscribed schools. Even if you don't get a place e seeing a few schools gives you something to compare and contrast and if you want and have a particular reason is sn's etc you can then choose to appeal for a place e if necessary.

I think its very poor if the head teacher and her sons teacher haven't taken five mins to at least introduce themselves and ask about her son or if she has any questions about the school.

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